


Live and Learn

by KouriArashi



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Because Maryse exists, But also, Domestic Fluff, Drabbles, Family, Family Drama, Fluff, Happy Ending, Homophobia, Hurt Alec, Hurt Magnus Bane, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magnus and Alec go on lots of dates, Sappy, Torture, a dash of angst, and make out a lot, but more importantly, lack of agency, maryse is the worst, okay it got a little dark in later chapters, so I'm going to add a few tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-15
Updated: 2016-11-27
Packaged: 2018-06-02 07:49:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 57,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6558262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KouriArashi/pseuds/KouriArashi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some Malec shorts because all I really want is a ton of domestic fluff and hurt/comfort (and for Alec to tell Maryse where to stick it, repeatedly).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so, this is my first stab at writing Malec fic! I am very excited. A couple things - 
> 
> I have not read any of the books. I know a few tidbits about them but this is TV show canon compliant only.
> 
> Takes place ... sometime after the wedding but before all the finale action and drama because I want Magnus and Alec to have some nice time away from the excitement to develop their relationship. Let's just pretend that the finale doesn't happen. Or something. =D
> 
> There are a few things in the tags that aren't in this first drabble but will appear later. Enjoy!

It’s not that Alec doesn’t like Magnus’ makeup and ever-changing hair and amazing sense of style. He does. Magnus is so hot that he’s practically on fire, and he clearly takes a great deal of pride in his appearance. Even when they need him on short notice, he somehow manages to look more refined and fashionable than Alec has ever been on his best day.

So Alec has to admit that he’s just flat out fascinated when Magnus emerges from the shower, completely sans makeup, hair damp and limp around his face, wearing nothing but a bathrobe. Of course, it’s a silk bathrobe, or actually Alec thinks it’s a silk kimono, but it’s still the most casual that he’s ever seen Magnus. He wonders if it’s rude to be grateful that the demon they fought got Magnus all slimy and disgusting, thus necessitating the shower.

“Oh, I didn’t realize you were staying,” Magnus says, but he doesn’t seem self-conscious about his appearance. Quite the opposite; he heads towards the bar and says, “Drink?”

“Yeah, uh, maybe just one.” Alec watches him go, tries not to watch the shift of his back and his ass under the robe. “Sorry if I startled you.”

“Not at all. I’m glad you stayed.” Magnus turns with two little glasses and hands one to Alec.

Before he can think better of the idea, Alec asks, “Why do you wear all that stuff all the time?”

Magnus looks genuinely confused by the question. “Well, because I like to.”

“Obviously, yeah, but I mean – do you think you don’t look good like this? Because, uh, you do. I mean, not like you don’t look good the other way, too. It just seems like a lot of work, that’s all.”

Magnus gives a little shrug. “I enjoy it. If one can look fabulous, one has an obligation to.”

Alec snorts. “It’s just like, you wear it almost like a mask, did you know that? Like you’re an entirely different person underneath it all. Like if you can just show the world how smooth and polished and, and invulnerable you are . . . then nobody can touch you.”

“I suppose we all have our public faces and our private ones,” Magnus says, “but really, honestly, I wear the makeup and do my hair because I enjoy it.” He reaches out and touches his finger to Alec’s lips. “And I’ve never been anything other than one hundred percent myself when I was with you.”

Alec smiles involuntarily. “Okay. Me too. I mean, even when I was still figuring out who I was. Anyway, I like seeing you like this.”

“Well, get here early in the morning and you can see me like this every day. I don’t roll out of bed looking flawless, more’s the pity.”

Alec pictures Magnus, mostly naked, free of makeup, hair mussed from sleep. It’s a _terrible_ idea. He has to clear his throat and look at the ceiling for what feels like several minutes, and blurts out the first thing he thinks of. “Well, if you wanted to, you could do my hair. That might be fun.”

Magnus looks surprised. “Seriously?”

“Yeah, sure. Give me the Magnus Bane look.”

It looks like Magnus is about to clap with glee. “I’ve been waiting for you to say that since I met you. Come here, I have something for you to wear. I bought it the day after we met – ”

“Uh, how?” Alec asks.

“Live as long as I have, Alec, and you learn to measure with your eyes. Come on. Nothing too flamboyant, I know, it wouldn’t suit you anyway. Silver and steel blue for your hair, I think – ” Magnus tugs Alec into the bedroom while he continues to talk.

Alec winds up in black pants that are just a shade tighter than he’s comfortable with, and a black mesh shirt. It’s the kind of thing Izzy has tried to dress him in constantly, so he doesn’t really have a problem with it. He thinks that under normal circumstances, he would feel awkward in it, but every time he turns around, he catches Magnus trying to check out his ass, so he can’t bring himself to have a problem with the pants. Add some silver jewelry and the dark makeup, and he feels like a kid playing dress-up. Magnus has done his hair with silver-blue streaks, the exact same color as the power of his stele or arrows.

“There!” Magnus turns him so he’s facing the mirror. “You look absolutely divine. Pun intended, of course,” he adds with a wink. “Now just let me get dressed and then we can hit the club.”

“Oh, are we - are we going out?” Alec feels like he hasn’t thought this through.

“Well, obviously. We can’t dress like this to just hang around the house. Be right back.” Magnus winks before disappearing through another door.

Alec tries not to fidget, feeling eager and awkward and excited all at the same time. He’s getting used to that combination of feelings around Magnus.

The warlock emerges a few minutes later wearing black pants and a black and purple jacket over a black shirt that’s unbuttoned way too far. Alec keeps staring at the last button and then trying to tear his eyes away. Magnus just laughs and spins in a slow circle before turning to a chest of drawers to pull out some jewelry. He does his makeup with quick, practiced strokes and then pushes both hands through his hair. Purple streaks appear in their wake. He turns and offers his arm to Alec. “Shall we?”

“Yeah,” Alec says, and he’s smiling despite himself. He has no idea why Magnus’ outrageous flirting always makes him smile. It’s just a fact of the universe, no different from the meaning of runes or that the sun will rise in the east.

The best thing about clubbing is that he doesn’t have to talk much. The music is so loud that it’s basically impossible. It’s mainly just dancing, and he feels like he could waste an eternity dancing with Magnus. A lot of the people there know the warlock, but they don’t know Alec, so he gets a lot of admiring stares and envious looks.

“Don’t mind them,” Magnus says right into his ear, when he sees Alec looking at a crowd of gawkers. “They just think you’re stunning.”

“They’re looking at you, not me,” Alec says.

Magnus arches an eyebrow. “Problem?”

“Maybe. I kind of want to tattoo my name on your forehead.”

“A possessive streak!” Magnus leans in and just barely brushes his lips over Alec’s. “I like that.”

Alec feels his knees go a little weak, which is just, honestly, pathetic. But then Magnus kisses him again, for real, and he sort of forgets about that, and later he’s not even sure how, but they definitely wind up tucked away in a dark corner, making out. It’s ridiculous. He feels like a teenager again, except for the part where he had never done this as a teenager. But Magnus is just so . . . irresistible. The scent of him, the warmth of his body, the feeling of his fingers lingering on the rune on Alec’s throat. And his mouth. His mouth is everything Alec had ever dreamed it would be, and there had been a lot of dreams. He loses himself in it, in the feeling of Magnus against him and the beat of the music and the rush of blood in his ears.

When the music stops, it’s an abrupt jarring back to reality. He blinks around the club. “What - what’s going on?”

“It’s closing time, darling,” Magnus says, amused.

“Shit, really?” Alec looks at his watch. It’s just past three AM. “Oh, man. I had no idea we’d been here so long. I’d better get home before the others send out a search party.”

Magnus tactfully doesn’t mention that Izzy and Jace are definitely _not_ going to ask questions about where their brother has been, if the last place they saw him was going into Magnus’ apartment. “I suppose I’ll head home as well. Catch up on my beauty sleep,” he adds with a wink.

“Yeah. But, uh. We should do this again.” A lot, immediately, his brain supplies, but for once he manages to stop the brain to mouth pathway before he embarrasses himself.

“Obviously,” Magnus says, tapping him on the lips. “I’ll look forward to it.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

Alec’s hope that he can sneak back into the Institute unnoticed are dashed the moment he comes through the door. His mother is pacing back and forth, and sets into him so quickly that she’s already yelling before she stops and does a double take at his outfit. “Where have you been? I have been calling - oh my God, what are you wearing? You’re dressed like a common prostitute!”

“I was out, at a club, wearing an outfit that was appropriate for the venue,” Alec says, and walks past her.

Izzy is waiting up, too, and as soon as she sees him, her eyebrows go up and she bites back a smile. “Nice! Magnus do your hair?”

“Magnus did all of . . . this,” Alec says, waving vaguely at himself.

“I like it!”

“Isabelle, not now,” Maryse says through gritted teeth. She takes a deep breath. “Alec. Where have you - never mind, I can see where you’ve been. Why were you not answering your phone?”

“Didn’t hear it ring,” Alec says. “The club was loud. I told Izzy and Jace I’d be out, and where they could find me if they needed me.”

Maryse shoots Izzy a look. Izzy studies the ceiling innocently. Then Maryse turns back to Alec. “I understand that you’re upset with me. But this behavior has to stop.”

“What behavior? Having a boyfriend? Going out to a club?”

“Not answering my calls - ”

“If there was a mission, again, Jace and Izzy knew where to find me. Anything else, you can leave me a voice mail and I’ll call you back when I’m free.”

“Alexander Gideon Lightwood!” Maryse sounds appalled. “I do not _leave messages_ for my son. I expect your prompt attention when I need something from you - ”

“Because that’s what it’s about, right?” Alec shoves a hand through his hair. “It’s late. I’m going to bed.”

Maryse folds her arms over her chest and stands in his way. “You know, I’d expect this sort of behavior from Isabelle, but not from you.”

“Oh, yeah, really?” Alec glances over at his sister, whose lips purse in that terrible hurt expression she gets whenever Maryse is being judgmental. “That’s a good point, Mom. Maybe I should have taken a leaf out of Izzy’s book earlier. Then I might not have been so repressed that I finally lost it and started making out with a warlock at what was supposed to be my wedding. Live and learn, I guess.” He shoulders past her and keeps walking while she sputters behind him, incensed.

Izzy follows him, laughing so hard she can barely stand. “Mom’s gonna need an ice rune for that burn,” she says, as Alec goes into his room.

“Good night, Izzy,” Alec says, and closes the door.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

Breakfast at the Lightwood table is strained and awkward the next morning. Maryse has packed Max off for his lessons early, which is a clear signal that she’s not happy and intends to talk about it. Robert is eating while staring at his plate. Jace keeps looking around the table as if he’s not sure why he has to be here for this. Alec, for his part, is eating with a healthy appetite. Several hours dancing in a club is a lot of exercise, and he’s hungry.

After the first ten minutes, Maryse puts her fork down with a decisive click. “So. Apparently we need to talk.”

“We really don’t,” Alec says.

Maryse’s mouth tightens. “Alec. I have put up with your disrespect and your attitude long enough. This is going to stop.”

“What do you want me to say, Mom? I’m sorry that I’m dating Magnus? I’m not. I’m sorry I didn’t pick up my phone last night? Maybe, if I had known that I would hear something other than an outraged rant about my boyfriend, I would have.”

Maryse sighs. “Alec, you just - you just don’t understand. I don’t see how you can throw away everything we’ve worked for - ”

“Who’s throwing what away? Last time I checked, I was still in charge of the Institute, as much as I ever am. Oh, are you out of favor with the Clave again? I don’t think that can be considered my fault, and I really don’t think it’s because I’m dating Magnus.”

“But for - for a Downworlder!” Maryse nearly chokes on the word. “You’re gay, fine. I accept that. It’s not - optimal, but - there are still political alliances that can be made. There are other gay Shadowhunters, I’m sure we can find you someone suitable.”

Alec shakes his head and pours himself more juice. The rest of the table sits in tense silence. “See, the thing is, Mom, every time you talk about how much Downworlders are beneath us, all I hear is Valentine. All I hear is you being in the Circle.”

“Alec!” Robert interrupts at that. “Your mother and I - we made some poor choices, we can’t deny that, but we never - it was never about that. Not for us.”

“You know, I believe that about you,” Alec says, “but I’m still on the fence about her.” He turns back to his mother. “So when did you leave the Circle, anyway? Was it before or after Valentine started murdering warlocks right and left?”

“That is enough!” Maryse chokes out. “You’re acting like a child. I’m ashamed of you, Alec.”

Alec shrugs. “Yeah, well, I’m started to get used to that.”

“Not so bad, is it,” Izzy murmurs under her breath.

Maryse rubs her temples for a few moments. “Well, Alec, would you like me to explain my concerns, or would you like to simply wave them off with that ‘I know better than you’ tone of voice?”

“Enlighten me,” Alec says.

“You don’t understand the way warlocks are. The way they - that Downworlder is hundreds of years old. You do understand that, don’t you? To warlocks, mortals are just - just the blink of an eye. He doesn’t really care for you. You, you’re an amusement to him, a shiny new toy that he’ll entertain himself with and then wander away from when he gets bored or when you’re too old to be pretty. I’m not even saying this to insult him, it’s just - it’s just the way warlocks are.”

“That’s _exactly_ the prejudice I’m talking about. You’re talking about Magnus like every warlock in the world is alike. You don’t know him. You don’t know that he’s like that. Did you have a conversation with him about how hard it is to love someone and then lose them, over and over again? Because I did. So maybe you can just stop generalizing, stop presuming that Magnus is a certain way because of _what_ he is, and keep your opinions to yourself.”

“He has a reputation – ”

“And we all know that someone’s reputation is all that matters, right?”

Maryse’s mouth is compressed into a thin line. The room falls into another awkward silence. Alec dishes himself up more scrambled eggs. After a moment, she lets out a breath. “Alec - honey - what do you want me to say? We’ve been hard on you. I know that. And you - you’ve done a wonderful job. I know that I can’t control what the Clave does, but just - tell me what you want. And if it’s within my power, I promise that you can have it.”

“ _This_ is what I want, Mom. You just can’t see it. Or you don’t want to. I want to do my job, run the Institute, and date Magnus. That’s it.” Alec puts down his fork. “Is that really so much to ask for?”

“Then I guess - it seems you really don’t care about the Lightwood name at all, do you.”

“At the moment? I really don’t.” Alec pushes back from the table. “I’ll create my own reputation. I can do it without any help from you. And I won’t take any of your calls or follow any of your orders until you’ve decided you can talk to my boyfriend and use his name.” Alec frowns briefly and then turns to Jace. “Sorry about the times I called Clary ‘that girl’ or whatever. It really is fucking insulting; I realize that now.”

“No problem, bro,” Jace says. “Apology accepted.”

“Thanks.” Alec turns back to his parents. “We’re done here. I have work to do.”

He pushes back from the table and heads out of the room. Jace and Izzy hasten to follow him, neither of them wanting to be left alone with their parents after what just happened. “How long do you think it’s going to take Maryse to get used to this?” Jace wonders aloud as they head into the main room.

Izzy gives an elegant shrug. “We’re coming up on seven years of her not being used to me, so I think Alec is probably in this for the long haul.”

“Yeah, but when you and Maryse fight, it’s different. I mean, Maryse is all . . . frowns and disapproval, and you feel hurt and upset. Alec . . . seems to be enjoying this.”

“I’m not,” Alec says. “Honestly, I’m not. I just can’t be something I’m not anymore. Mom will disapprove until her dying breath. I can’t do anything about that, so why bother worrying about it?”

Izzy looks thoughtful. “So this is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object.”

Jace, for his part, seems dubious. “It sure as hell seems like you’re enjoying it.”

“Arguing with mom? No. Just . . . I’m enjoying being open. Being myself and not worrying about anyone’s opinion of it. It’s like . . . you can’t understand what sort of weight that is. I felt like I was being crushed, and now I’m finally free.”

“As long as you’re happy, we’re happy,” Izzy says firmly.

“Right,” Jace agrees.

Alec gives them one of those rare smiles that typically only Magnus sees. “Thanks.”

“But next time Magnus takes you clubbing, we get to come along,” Izzy adds.

“Over my dead body,” Alec laughs.

Izzy just arches an eyebrow. “We’ll see about that.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chronologically speaking, this would take place before the first short. I should have thought this through better, LOL
> 
> Also, just to add, not sure if this is going to stay rated Teen or eventually be bumped up to Mature. We shall see....

 

One epic kiss at a wedding-that-wasn’t aside, Magnus is pretty sure that he’s going to have to take his time with Alec. The shadowhunter has years of world-class repression to work through, and Magnus has no interest in pushing too hard. To be honest, the idea of taking his time with Alec is delectable. Time is, after all, on his side. And if it’s somewhat less on Alec’s side, there’s still no rush.

Magnus understands that the reasons for Alec’s reticence are numerous and complex. It isn’t just his family’s expectations. Alec’s first love was Jace, a bond not only frowned upon because of their gender, but forbidden because of their parabatai bond. Alec, in his youth and inexperience, took the self-loathing his love for Jace caused and generalized it. Now he’s gradually opening up, letting himself have what he wants. If they go too fast, the backlash will be a hundred times worse than his initial reluctance.

That’s what Magnus is thinking during their first date, which is why he’s somewhat surprised when he’s kissing Alec on the sofa and Alec starts trying to undo his pants.

To be fair - Magnus tries to be fair - his cocktails tend to be on the strong side. Even someone with Alec’s build and stamina would be tipsy after the first two. And Alec has had six. Magnus isn’t sure if he just wasn’t paying attention to how much he was drinking, or if he was so anxious and tightly wound that he wanted to get drunk on purpose. It’s probably the latter. Alec was so tense when he arrived that he looked ready to snap in half.

“Alexander,” he says, chuckling as he removes Alec’s hands from his waist, “there’s no need to be in such a rush.”

Alec blinks up at him with puppy dog eyes that would put an actual puppy to shame. “You don’t . . . want to?”

“In the immortal words of the Bard, ‘I burn, I pine, I perish’,” Magnus says, and kisses him again, just once, lightly. “But you, my sweet, are very, very drunk. And I do not want to do anything that you need twelve shots of liquid courage to do.”

“I would do this sober,” Alec says. He sounds more petulant than anything else.

“Then prove that to me tomorrow morning, when you are.” Magnus laughs quietly. “Come on. I think I had better get you to bed.”

“Bed sounds . . . nice.” Alec manages to get to his feet on his own, though he’s wobbly. “Stop moving the room.”

“I will cease moving the room immediately.” Magnus gets an arm around Alec’s waist and guides him into the bedroom. He falls heavily onto the bed, nearly taking Magnus down with him. Magnus starts unlacing Alec’s shoes. “I hope you don’t expect me to sleep on the sofa, by the way.”

“No. You stay in here. With me.” Alec fumbles but manages to pat the empty space next to him. “Right here.”

“Excellent choice, Alexander.”

“Why d’you call me that?” Alec asks, looking up at Magnus blearily. “Hardly anybody calls me Alexander.”

“Oh, I suppose I just like the way it sounds,” Magnus says. “Should I stop?”

“No. I like it too. Like the way you say it.” Alec’s eyes close.

Magnus leans in close and gives him a brief, gentle kiss. “Then good night, Alexander.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

Alec wakes up feeling like something died inside his mouth. It’s not that he’s never been drunk before. He doesn’t indulge often – he rarely does anything that could be considered indulgent – but it’s happened on a few occasions. He’s never had a hangover like this, that’s for sure. He moans and drags the pillow over his head, then stops at the feeling of the fabric. Nothing in his bedroom is satin. The memories of the night before start to trickle in, and he wonders if he could kill himself with his stele to spare himself the embarrassment of facing Magnus.

“Good morning,” Magnus says, coming in just as cheerful as ever. Alec opens one eye and then closes it, because he can’t handle that much color yet. “I have a little something that will help your head, I think.”

At this, Alec opens both eyes. He wonders several things in quick succession. What time is it? Did he sleep really late, or did Magnus wake up really early? Or does the warlock just emerge from his bed already dressed in immaculate peacock colors with hair and eye shadow to match? “Mmkay.” He forces himself upright, rubbing a hand over his face.

“Drink up,” Magnus says, handing the glass over. Alec accepts it, expecting something horrible. But it’s some sort of herbal tea, a little smoky, and it makes the worst of the throbbing in his temples abate. “Better?”

“Yeah.” Alec puts the glass on the side table and surreptitiously checks to see what he’s wearing. To his relief – and somewhat to his surprise – he’s fully dressed besides his shoes. He remembers a lot of kissing, but things get pretty hazy after the fourth cocktail. He definitely remembers trying to get Magnus’ pants off, though, and he remembers Magnus’ smile and Magnus’ gentle refusal. “Sorry about, uh . . .” He trails off because he’s really not sure what he’s apologizing for, besides his existence on the same planet.

“No apologies necessary,” Magnus says smoothly. “It looks like it’s going to be a beautiful day. We should go out and get some breakfast.”

“Yeah. That would be good,” Alec says. Izzy swears by a greasy breakfast after a night of overindulgence. Then his phone rings and he looks down to see that it’s Jace. “Oh, God, what now,” he says with a sigh, answering. As expected, there’s a mission, which Jace is relaying because Maryse still isn’t speaking to either Alec or Izzy. After a brief conversation, Alec hangs up. “Uh, raincheck. Work stuff. Sorry.”

“Of course,” Magnus says.

“I’m not, uh, it’s not that I don’t want to stay,” Alec says, worried that Magnus will think he’s trying to duck out. Magnus gives him that warm, genuine smile that so few people ever see, and Alec has to resist the urge to call Jace back and tell him to handle the situation on his own. “I’ll call you tonight. Okay?”

“Okay,” Magnus says.

“And, uh, about last night . . .” Alec focuses on putting his shoes on so he doesn’t have to look Magnus in the eye. “Thanks.”

“You’re most welcome.” Magnus leans in and kisses him on the corner of his mouth. “I’ll see you soon, then?”

“Yeah. Soon. Good.” Alec clears his throat. “I’m just gonna – yeah. Go. Bye.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

Izzy has to bite back a smile when she sees her brother come into the main room of the Institute. He’s wearing sunglasses. Indoors. “Are you hungover?” she asks, laughing.

“Yes, and please don’t talk so loud,” Alec replies. “I feel like ten miles of bad road. I had to steal sunglasses from Clary’s room which probably belong to Simon, and I look ridiculous. These are the stupidest sunglasses I’ve ever seen. How can someone manage to buy sunglasses that are stupid?”

Izzy snaps a picture with her phone for future blackmail purposes. “Did Magnus get you drunk?”

“No, I got me drunk, and then I made an ass of myself, and I really don’t want to discuss it. Can we just go kill some demons? We were going to have breakfast and I had to come back here instead.”

Since they were planning on breakfast, Izzy presumes that however Alec made an ass of himself, Magnus didn’t mind. So she texts him the picture as Alec starts going through the material they’ve gathered. “How, exactly, did you embarrass yourself?”

“I had way too much alcohol and tried to . . .” A faint blush colored Alec’s cheeks. “I basically threw myself at him. He turned me down because I was too drunk to see straight and then put me to bed like a child.”

Izzy feels a new respect for the warlock. She’s always liked him, but a lot of men in his position wouldn’t have done the right thing. “Told you that all the repression would catch up with you.”

“Think it did that at the wedding.”

“True enough,” Izzy says, laughing. She checks her phone and sees a response from Magnus. “Magnus wants to take you shopping. He says those sunglasses look terrible on you.”

“He’s right, but unless he can take me shopping somewhere dark and quiet, I am definitely not interested in going today.” Alec slaps the folder shut. “This shouldn’t be that bad. Couldn’t you and Jace take care of it?”

“Jace is - ”

“ - with Clary,” they finish together. Alec sighs. “Okay, fine. Let’s just get it over with.”

“So Magnus doesn’t have a hangover potion?” Izzy asks, as she and Alec go to get their weapons.

“He gave me something. It helped a little, but . . .”

“Wow.” Izzy can’t help but laugh again. “Must be some hangover.”

“Seriously, please stop talking.”

They kill a demon. It’s not too bad. Alec hangs out in the shadows with his bow, and despite his headache, manages to get to the demon before Izzy does. She gives him a high five and they head back to the Institute.

“Uh, this came in while you were gone,” one of the other men says, handing Alec a box. He frowns down at it. It’s a narrow black box, only a few inches in every dimension, with a white note on top that says ‘Alexander’ in Magnus’ elegant script. Alec looks around as if to make sure nobody is watching - which Izzy obviously is - before flipping the note open. His lips twitch.

“What, what does it say?” Izzy asks, before abandoning subtlety and privacy and just leaning over his arm. The note reads, simply, ‘Until next time’. Alec opens the box to reveal a pair of mirrored sunglasses, very stylish and somehow perfectly framed for Alec’s face. He immediately tosses Simon’s plastic monstrosity glasses aside, not caring where they fall, and puts the new ones on instead.

“What do you think?” he asks Izzy.

“Very stylish.” She laughs. “And that marks the first time you have ever asked my opinion about what you’re wearing. Are you finally learning a sense of style?”

She’s expecting him to roll his eyes or get annoyed, but he just says, “Maybe I am.” He fiddles with the sunglasses and says, “So, you want to go shopping with me and Magnus? It might be a little . . . much. If you aren’t there to, you know.”

“Deflect?” she teases, poking him in the neck.

“Yeah.”

“I’d love to. Tomorrow. Now let’s go get some breakfast.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the hurt/comfort I've been longing for!

 

The wards around Magnus’ apartment are extensive, so it’s rare that he’s caught by surprise. But it does happen when Jace and Izzy barge into his apartment with a limp Alec draped between them and Clary on their heels. It’s not their entrance that surprises him – he felt them coming a mile away – it’s Alec’s. Because he _hadn’t_ felt Alec coming, and he should have. He can recognize Alec’s presence at a distance greater than any other’s.

“Lay him down here,” he says, his body snapping off the couch before he’s even had a chance to think. Izzy has been crying, her make-up smeared, and Jace looks pale and wrecked. “What happened?”

“A banshee – ” Izzy starts, and Magnus’ head jerks around. Banshee cries are always fatal. “Only for, for a split second before he – but – ”

Magnus tunes her out and kneels down beside Alec. The shadowhunter’s skin is practically dead white, his lips a dull purplish-blue. Magnus presses his fingers into Alec’s throat and feels nothing. His stomach churns, and he whips around to Jace. “Do you know CPR?”

“What? No, we don’t – ”

“I do.” Clary pushes past both of them and places her hands on Alec’s chest, starting compressions. “Oh, wait, we need to have him on the floor. Jace, help me – ”

Seeing that she knows what she’s doing, Magnus bolts into the other room, where he has his potion supplies. Izzy stumbles after him. “Can you cure it?”

“Maybe.” Magnus grabs bottle after bottle, tossing the ones he needs onto his table. He snaps his fingers to start the fire. “How long was he exposed?”

“Enough time to draw an arrow and put it through her throat. One, one and a half seconds maybe.”

Magnus can’t help but grimace. It’s altogether too long. But he ignores the specter of Alec’s death that’s always perched on his shoulder. If Clary can keep Alec’s heart working while he puts this together, he might pull through without any permanent damage. He tunes out the sound of Izzy’s soft sobs while he assembles the ingredients.

It takes almost half an hour to finish the potion, which is a lot longer than Magnus would prefer. When he rushes out to the other room, Alec is stretched out on the floor and Jace has taken over. He looks worriedly up at Clary and says, “I think I just broke another rib.”

“That’s fine, just – ” Clary sees Magnus coming back in and starts to shoo Jace aside.

“No, stay there. This will take some time as well.” Magnus can only hope that the angel blood will make Alec resilient. “Banshee cries have to be countered with song. Tilt his head back.”

“With – song?” Izzy asks, although she’s already moving to help as Magnus goes to his knees at Alec’s side. He has to pour the potion into Alec’s mouth a drop at a time, to keep him from choking on it. Rather than answering her question with words, Magnus demonstrates, starting into a lullaby he remembers from his childhood.

“We could have been singing to him,” Clary says. “If you had told us – ”

Magnus shakes his head and waves her off, not willing to stop singing long enough to explain. He hasn’t tried to heal a banshee cry in over a century – and the last time he had tried it, he had failed. He tries not to think about that, either, as he keeps dripping the potion into Alec’s mouth, focuses on pouring his magic into his voice as he sings.

Jace rears back suddenly. “I think I felt – ” he starts, and then Alec starts coughing. He rolls onto his side, his body wracked with it, while Izzy tries to hold him steady. “Alec! Alec, can you hear me, are you okay?”

“Whu,” Alec coughs out. He heaves for a breath and his eyes flutter. His body twitches a few more times, muscles tense and stiff.

“Sleep,” Magnus croons softly to him, rubbing his hand down Alec’s spine. “Sleep, Alexander.”

Alec sighs quietly. His body relaxes, head dropping into Izzy’s lap. She smoothes down his hair and then wipes her eyes with her free hand. Magnus leans forward, drooping despite himself as the tension leaves his body. His head rests against Izzy’s shoulder, and she reaches out and squeezes his hand. “Thank you,” she whispers. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet,” Magnus says, and pulls away. “He was out for a long time. We won’t know for sure if there’s any long-term damage until he wakes up, and that might not be for a while.”

“But he’s alive,” Jace says. “He’s alive.”

Magnus nods. He tries to stand up and wobbles. Jace and Clary grab him and help him into a chair. “What happened?”

“We got a report about a couple demons, but – nobody mentioned a banshee,” Izzy says. “When she started screaming, obviously we all stopped to cover our ears. She went for Jace with her claws out, and – Alec dropped his hands from his ears to shoot her before she could kill him.”

“He was so fast,” Clary says, her voice slightly awed. “But then he just – dropped.”

Magnus closes his eyes. “Clary, be a darling and bring me one of the blue bottles from the refrigerator, would you?” he asks, and she nods and heads over. Izzy and Jace move to get Alec back onto the sofa, where he’ll surely be more comfortable. He doesn’t twitch while they move him. “If anyone else cares for a sparkling water, they can have one as well.”

Clary comes back with four bottles and shares them out. “So what was up with the song? I know a few myself.”

“It has to be – ” Magnus lets out a breath. “It has to be the voice they most look forward to hearing in the morning. Begging all of your pardon, but I thought I was probably the best bet at this particular moment in time.”

“No, you’re right,” Izzy says, laughing quietly. “And nobody wants to hear me sing, anyway. Your voice is very nice.”

“Why, thank you,” Magnus says. “I was on Broadway for a while, you know.”

“Somehow I’m not at all surprised,” Jace says. “You said it might be a while before he wakes up? Any idea how long?”

“It’s hard to say for certain, but probably at least ten, twelve hours. Maybe as much as a full day. And he’s going to feel like he’s been hit by a truck when he wakes up.”

Jace nods and worries at his lower lip. “I’m pretty sure I broke some of his ribs. Clary said that it was okay, that that happens, but – ”

“I’m sure Alec can deal with a few broken ribs,” Izzy says. “Better than the alternative.” She looks at Magnus and says, “What Jace is trying to say is, is it all right with you if we stay until Alec has woken up? So we can keep an eye on him.”

“Certainly,” Magnus says, because when his head aches and his pulse is still racing, what he really wants to do is spend time with Jace Wayland. He’s torn between staying here, where Alec is, and going to his room, where the others aren’t. He can’t bring himself to leave Alec, so he adds, “But I am very tired after that spell, and I would appreciate it if you would keep on the quiet side, so I could get some rest.”

“Of course,” Clary says.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

Magnus doesn’t quite sleep, but he drifts off into a doze that’s broken when there’s the sharp noise of a ringing phone. He rubs a hand over his face as he hears Jace start talking. “Hey, Maryse. Yes, I know, but – no. I don’t think – I know, but – it’s not – ”

Annoyed, Magnus gives his fingers a quick snap so he can hear Maryse’s end of the conversation, and immediately tunes into, “and you will not leave him at the home of that Downworlder!”

“I – ” Jace says, before he finds his phone flying out of his hand and into Magnus’. He looks startled, then a bit annoyed. Then he sees the look on Magnus’ face and apparently decides that he wants no part of this argument.

“Maryse, darling. Which Downworlder are you referring to? Because it couldn’t possibly be me, the warlock who just saved your son’s life.”

“Put Jace back on the phone this instant,” Maryse snaps.

“Is there some reason that you’re so eager to remove Alec from my care? Because I can’t imagine what it would be. Unless you think what we’re doing over here is a Marvin Gaye song – ”

“Magnus, let me have the phone,” Izzy says quietly. Disgruntled, Magnus lets her take it. “Hello, mother. Alec is sleeping right now and I don’t think it would be a good idea to move him. He had it pretty rough.”

“You know that we have the best healers in Idris, so you will bring him back to the Institute immediately, am I making myself clear? I don’t know why you brought him to that warlock in the first place – ”

“Because he was dead!” Jace yells suddenly, startling Izzy. He grabs the phone and repeats, “Because he was _dead_ , Maryse. What the hell were the healers in Idris going to do for him? I brought him to Magnus because I wanted to save his life. It was my call, so don’t scream at Izzy about it.”

“Besides – ” Magnus holds out his hand for the phone. Jace yields it to him. “If they had brought Alec to me and I hadn’t been able to save him, it would have been a tragedy, and we all would have wept. If they had brought Alec to _you_ , and you hadn’t been able to save him, it would have been more than a tragedy. Because I would have wanted to know why you hadn’t brought him to me. I would have been very upset, Maryse, and I don’t think you would have liked the results.”

“Is that a threat?” Maryse asks.

“Merely a statement of fact, my dear.” Magnus hangs up and tosses the phone back to Jace. It rings again.

Jace grimaces, hits a button, and tucks it into his pocket. “Who’s Marvin Gaye?”

“Oh my God!” Clary bursts into laughter. “You guys are so sheltered.”

“Okay, but really, who?” Jace asks.

Magnus slumps into his chair and goes back to sleep.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

Come the next morning, Alec is sleeping peacefully. Magnus watches him for several long minutes, watching his chest rise and fall, timing his pulse. He looks better, though still nowhere near healthy. His lips are cracked and pale, and Magnus notices dried blood that had trickled from his ears. He gets a wash cloth and gently cleans it off.

“Hey,” Clary says softly, coming into the room. “Do you want some tea? Maybe some breakfast?”

“I’m not really hungry, but some tea would be lovely,” Magnus says, and Clary nods and heads into the kitchen. A few minutes later, she comes out with two mugs. Magnus is still sitting there, hands laced together in front of his face, watching Alec sleep.

“I know this must be hard for you,” Clary says. “But Alec’s going to be okay. Thanks to you.”

“This time, yes.”

Clary sits down in the chair next to him. “I wish I could say ‘there won’t be a next time’. You know, that we would try harder, train harder, be better, but . . . I guess we can’t guarantee that. I wish we could.”

“I know.” Magnus turns a smile on her, hoping to reassure her. “Trust me, biscuit, I was not unaware of Alec’s mortality when I expressed my interest in him. He won’t be the first person I’ve lost.”

“That’s awful,” Clary says softly.

Magnus nods. “Every time.”

“Is it worth it?” Clary asks.

“I think so. For a long time, I tried to convince myself that it wasn’t. But closing oneself off that way . . . I couldn’t do it forever. Not after I met Alec.”

“Which is kind of funny.” Clary offers Magnus a tentative smile. “I mean, because Alec himself is so closed off. Or at least he was. He acts like such a jerk. I mean, he wouldn’t even argue if I said that, it’s just who he is. I remember telling Jace that Alec didn’t like me, and Jace just told me that Alec didn’t like anybody. You saw something in him . . . that nobody else had seen. Maybe you saw yourself.”

“Now that just makes me sound like a narcissist, my dear,” Magnus says, and Clary laughs. “Speaking of narcissists, where is Jace?”

“Hey!” Clary punches Magnus in the upper arm, not at all hard. “He was pacing to keep himself awake, so I told him to go get some sleep. Izzy’s sleeping, too. I slept the first part of the night, so I didn’t mind staying up to watch Alec.”

“I do appreciate it.” Magnus sips his tea. “Let me take a quick shower and change clothes and then I’ll take over so you can get some rest.”

Clary nods, so he heads into the bedroom. He had slept in his clothes, and although his makeup is high-quality and still looks fantastic, his face has that telltale itchy feeling of it have been left on too long. He decides not to apply more for the time being. He cleans his face, takes a quick shower, and washes his hair. A quick glance into the living room reveals that nothing has changed, so he takes his usual amount of care selecting his outfit, dying the tips of his hair to match, and assembling his jewelry.

When he emerges, Clary is on the phone. “Yeah. Yeah, I got it. Okay.” She hangs up. “Sorry, I have to go. Simon needs me. Call or text me if Alec wakes up, okay?”

Magnus nods and kisses her on the cheek before she departs in a rush. He picks up a book and settles in. About an hour has passed before Izzy comes out of the bedroom, yawning and looking for something to drink. Alec has begun to toss and turn a little, his sleep becoming restless, and Magnus is shushing him.

“Is he okay?” Izzy asks, concerned.

Magnus nods and doesn’t respond, quietly focused on his magic, on taking Alec’s pain away. A few moments later, the shadowhunter sighs and relaxes. “He was just in some pain. That’s actually a good sign. It means he’s not sleeping as deeply anymore. Hopefully he’ll wake up soon.”

Izzy’s face brightens. “I’ll hang out, then. I was thinking I might run back to the Institute for a change of clothes for me and Jace, but if Alec might be up soon, I’ll stay. If I go home, I’ll need to set aside an hour for Mom to yell at me.”

“Feel free to raid my closet, if you like,” Magnus says. “For you, that is. Not for Jace. I don’t want his shoulders straining the seams of my shirts.”

“I don’t think Jace would be caught dead in anything you wear,” Izzy replies, and heads into the bedroom.

“There’s no accounting for taste,” Magnus murmurs to himself, rubbing his thumb over Alec’s knuckles. “Or lack thereof.”

He’s still holding Alec’s hand, listening to the faint noise of Izzy in the shower, when he stirs suddenly. His eyes flutter. Magnus holds onto him, but doesn’t try to wake him, waiting to see if he’ll wake up, or settle back down into sleep. Alec lifts one hand and pats vaguely at his chest, clearly trying to figure out what’s wrong with it. Then he focuses on Magnus. For a brief moment, it’s like the banshee never happened and he’s just waking up from a normal night’s sleep. He gets that adorable, unguarded grin on his face when he sees Magnus leaning over him and murmurs, “Mornin’.”

Magnus starts to smile and say good morning in return, but the look on Alec’s face changes almost instantly from sleepy contentment to confused panic. “You’re fine – ” Magnus starts to say.

Alec talks over him. “Magnus – I can’t hear. I can’t hear you, Magnus, I can’t – ”

Magnus presses two fingers over Alec’s mouth to stop his panicked sentences. He closes his eyes for a brief moment of concentration and uses his other hand to press his index finger into Alec’s forehead, the tip of it flaring blue with magic. _You’re fine, Alexander. Can you hear me now?_

“I – what? I’m not – what happened?”

_You were knocked out by a banshee. Hearing loss would be expected, and can last a few days afterwards. Or so I’ve heard. Understand, surviving a banshee’s cry is rare enough that it isn’t as if there have been books written on the subject._

Alec lets out a slow breath. “I don’t – really remember.”

_You were unconscious for quite a while afterwards,_ Magnus tells him. He doesn’t want to tell Alec that he was actually dead for a lot of that while. That won’t help Alec’s panic level. _But you seem to be recovering nicely_.

After a minute, Alec gives him a wan smile. “I’m betting you had something to do with it.”

_I contributed in some modest ways, yes_.

“So weird to talk when I can’t hear myself.” Alec closes his eyes. “All I can hear – it’s like everything’s coming through ten feet of water. Just this vague . . . echoing, pulsing noise.”

_It will get better. Let me make you some tea. Don’t try to get up._ Magnus waits for Alec to nod acquiescence before he heads into the kitchen. He leans into the bedroom on his way by. “Izzy? Alec is awake. He’s had hearing loss and he seems a little anxious.”

Izzy tumbles out of the room before Magnus can finish his second sentence, and is in the chair he had just vacated. Magnus heads into the kitchen to make the tea. When he comes out, he finds that Izzy has retrieved her phone and is using the notepad function to type what she wants to say. Magnus catches a glimpse of the text that reads, ‘and Jace is still asleep’, before he pulls up another chair.

Alec reaches for the mug of tea and half sits up, then groans and falls backwards. “Easy,” Magnus says. He taps his finger gently against Alec’s temple to resume their psychic communication. _I told you not to get up._

“The hell happened?” Alec asks, patting at his chest.

“You were – ” Izzy starts, and then remembers he can’t hear her. She reaches for her phone, but Magnus sets down his mug of tea and twines his fingers through hers.

_Like this_ , he says.

Izzy’s eyes momentarily widen, but then she nods. _Your heart stopped beating for a few minutes. Clary and Jace kept it going while Magnus made the potion to cure you._

“Did they have to break all my ribs?” Alec asks.

_Yes, actually,_ Magnus replies. _They really should educate you on these things. In order to generate enough pressure to make the heart muscles contract, the ribs around the heart typically do get broken in the process._

“Wait, my ribs are actually broken?”

Magnus runs his free hand down Alec’s chest clinically. _Four of them, I think_.

“That . . . sucks.” Alec lets his head thud against the pillow. “Can’t believe you actually knew how to cure a banshee cry, though. Everything I’ve ever read says it’s fatal one hundred percent of the time.”

_More like ninety-nine point nine percent,_ Magnus replies, although what he’s really thinking is a mixture of anger and horror that Alec could know that and still be willing to take his hands off his ears to save his brother.

“Yeah . . . sorry,” Alec says, looking away, and Magnus realizes that Alec heard what he was thinking as well as what he was meaning to think. “I just reacted, you know.”

Magnus clears his throat and suddenly wishes that Izzy wasn’t listening. _I would hardly expect you to stand there and watch your brother die. And as you did survive, I say we have a drink and don’t worry about it._

Izzy and Alec exchange a look, requiring exactly no magic to convey words between them. In that moment, they agree that although Alec and Magnus will definitely need to talk about this, it can wait until Alec is back on his feet.  

_Well!_ Magnus says. _How about we find something to keep ourselves entertained that doesn’t involve me accidentally broadcasting my inner hopes and fears? A movie? I’ll put the subtitles on._

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

By evening, Alec’s hearing has recovered enough that he can at least tell when people around him are making noise, even if he can’t make out what those noises are. He’s relaxed at this evidence that his hearing loss won’t be permanent. Izzy has told him that he’ll still be an amazing Shadowhunter even if it is, but Magnus knows that such things don’t comfort Alec. Alec has such an ingrained need to be the best at what he does that even a small disability would be difficult for him to deal with.

Clary comes back in the evening and has brought Chinese food for everyone to share. Alec looks about as happy to see her as he ever does, and makes a snarky comment about how much more tolerable she is when he doesn’t have to listen to her. Clary takes back the egg roll she was about to give him, and eats it herself. Magnus catches Alec smiling about that when he thinks nobody is looking.

Izzy is talking about putting on another movie, but then Jace’s phone rings and they have a mission. Lydia wants to check in with them, because she’s worried about Alec too, although she doesn’t make any mention of bringing him back to the Institute.

“We’ll get this finished as soon as we can,” Izzy says, trusting Magnus to relay the details of their departure to her brother.

“Hurry back,” Magnus says, with absolutely zero conviction in his voice.

Alec, seeing the look on Magnus’ face although not hearing his tone, gives a quiet snort of laughter. Then he winces a little.

_Are you in pain?_  Magnus asks. Alec sighs and nods a little. Magnus holds his hand about an inch above Alec’s chest, using his magic to assess the wound, drain some of the pain away. Alec lets out a quiet noise, and his body, which had gone tense, relaxes. _You shouldn’t hide it. I can help you._

“I don’t want you wasting your magic on me,” Alec grumbles.

_Magic spent on you, my dear, would never be wasted. And you’ll heal faster if you don’t hold yourself so tense._ Unthinking, Magnus reaches out and runs his fingers through Alec’s hair. The movement soothes him, more than it seems to soothe Alec himself. Just having that physical connection, that feeling of Alec being there. _And Clary said something about making sure you didn’t breathe shallowly, because that can cause lung problems._

“Yeah, I’m sure Clary knows all about broken ribs.” Alec can’t help but roll his eyes.

_Clary did the CPR that kept you alive, petal, so you might want to rethink your attitude towards her medical knowledge._ Magnus taps his finger against Alec’s lips. _You should be able to be up and around tomorrow. And then I’m sure that your mother will sweep you back to Idris for the rest of your convalescence._

“Does she even know I’m here?”

_Yes, Jace called her. She wanted them to bring you back right away, but you were resting and I didn’t think it was best for you to be moved._

Another epic eye roll from Alec. “She’s gonna go off the rails when I see her again. You’d think that she’d let up after you saved my life.”

_I would never expect such a thing from Maryse Lightwood._ Magnus indulges in an eye roll of his own. _But it’s probably better not to push her too far. It won’t hurt you any to spend a few days in Idris. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, after all._

Alec frowns. “Does it really?”

_So it’s said. I myself am already alarmingly fond of you, so I suppose we’ll have to see what happens._

At this, Alec flushes pink. “Yeah, uh, well,” he says, with his normal amount of eloquence. “Same.”

Magnus bites back a smile. He leans down to press a gentle kiss against Alec’s mouth. _Then for now, let’s just enjoy our time together._

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

As predicted, Alec is able to be up and walking around the next day. His hearing has mostly returned, although he still has trouble with things that are higher-pitched. He has absolutely no interest in going back to Idris, or leaving Magnus’ apartment, or leaving Magnus’ bed. But Magnus points out that, as stunning as he is, he has little to no idea what kind of extended treatment Alec needs. “I assume there are exercises, perhaps physical therapy, that go along with the injury,” he says, “but I couldn’t tell you what they were.”

So Alec grumbles, but with even Magnus telling him that he should go, he agrees. Izzy and Jace pick him up to take back to Idris.

As expected, Maryse is waiting with her foot tapping. “Well, you look terrible,” she snaps. “You should have been here for treatment two days ago, but I suppose that warlock had other pursuits he felt were more important.”

“Yeah, Mom,” Alec says, too tired to watch his mouth. “We were totally having sex when half my ribs are broken. He’s into that.”

“How on earth you managed to break half your ribs by fighting a banshee – ”

“Maryse,” Robert interrupts in a placating tone, “perhaps we should let him get to the healers.”

“Good idea,” Jace says, getting Alec by the wrist and towing him past a still-sputtering Maryse. “Uh, seriously, sorry about your ribs.”

Alec shakes his head. He’s thought a couple times about asking exactly what had happened, but every time the subject comes up, both Izzy and Jace go tense and anxious. They’ve been abnormally clingy in the aftermath of his injury, and he doesn’t want to upset them. So he goes to see the healers. They put some new and exciting runes on his chest that help with the pain and his flexibility and give him some exercises that he’s to do twice a day. He’s told he can’t take missions for two weeks, which annoys him.

“So can I go back to New York, then?” he asks.

The healer shrugs. “I don’t see any reason why not, as long as you come back here for your check up next week, and remember to do your exercises.”

“Great.” Alec leaves the healing chambers and isn’t surprised when he’s again confronted by Maryse. He sighs. “Mom. Why are you angry?”

“I’m not angry, and I don’t appreciate you telling me how I feel – ”

Alec resists the urge to throw his hands into the sky. “Why are you _acting_ angry, then?”

“Bringing you to that warlock’s was an enormous breach of protocol – ”

Now Izzy looks upset, and Alec forces himself to take a deep breath. “Mom, can you just – just for a minute – just stop thinking about the fact that I’m dating Magnus and you don’t like it? Because that has _nothing_ to do with why Jace and Izzy brought me there. They didn’t bring me to my boyfriend. They brought me to the High Warlock of Brooklyn. Because he’s the only person who had even a _remote_ chance of being able to heal a banshee cry. Which, I would like to remind you, he did. Does anyone in Idris know how to do that? Because if they don’t, the only conclusion I can possibly come to is that you’re upset that I survived.”

“Maybe I _would_ prefer to have a son who died with honor rather than one who consorted with Downworlders!” Maryse snaps back, and Izzy makes a noise like her mother had kicked her in the stomach.

“Maryse!” Robert says, clearly appalled. He turns to Alec and says hastily, “She doesn’t mean that, she’s just upset – ”

“She does mean it, and nobody here is surprised by anything other than that she finally said it out loud.” Alec finishes buttoning up his shirt. He doesn’t dare look at either of his parents. “I’m leaving. If you need me, pretty sure you can guess where you’ll find me.”

He’s back in New York a few minutes later, and heads back up to Magnus’. The warlock’s face brightens as soon as he enters, and it makes the lump in Alec’s throat easier to swallow. “I didn’t expect you back so soon.”

“Yeah, the uh, the healer said I didn’t have to stay in Idris as long as I promised not to take any missions and come back in a week for a check up.” Alec clears his throat and tries to think of something else to say.

Magnus instantly senses his mood. “What’s wrong?” he asks, and his voice is a little too quiet.

“Nothing, I just – ” Alec stops talking. He walks over to sit on the sofa next to Magnus, leaning over so he can press his cheek against Magnus’ shoulder, practically settling in his lap. It would have hurt earlier, but the healers in Idris really did do good work. “Just want to stay here for a little while. Okay?”

“Of course.” Magnus gets an arm around his shoulder, rubs his hand down Alec’s back. The silence sits for a minute. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” Alec says.

Magnus nods and accepts this, leaning over to press a kiss against the crown of Alec’s head. “How about we put on some music and have a drink, and I’ll make good on my promise to kiss you once for every minute you were gone?”

At this, Alec manages a smile. “You didn’t promise me that.”

“No? How terribly remiss of me.”

“It does sound good, though.”

Magnus leans over and just barely brushes his lips over Alec’s. “That’s one,” he says. “Let me get the drinks, and we’ll have one hundred and seventy-nine to go.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

“So . . . how bad was it?” Alec asks, gingerly rubbing his hand over his chest as he finishes up with his exercises the next day. Magnus glances over at him, then returns his attention to the drink he’s pouring. “Come on, be honest with me. Izzy and Jace won’t talk about it. I’ve taken a lot of hits on a lot of missions, and I’ve never seen them this freaked out. Jace normally jokes about it when I get hurt, you know, tells me I deserved to get knocked on my ass. But they’re . . . hovering.”

Magnus walks over with the two mugs of coffee. “Do you really want to know?”

Alec thinks about it, then nods. “Yeah.”

“I don’t know how long it took them to get you here, but it has to have been at least a few minutes. And you were, at that point, dead.”

“Dead, like . . . completely dead?”

“No pulse, no breathing.” Magnus has to stop and take a deep breath of his own. “Yes, you were, in all senses of the word, dead. You weren’t wrong, you know. Hearing the cry of a banshee is fatal, one hundred percent of the time. I instructed Clary to keep your heart beating while I made the potion that I _hoped_ could bring you back. There was really only about a ten percent chance it would work.”

Alec chews on his lower lip. “But it did.”

“Yes. It took me almost half an hour to finish making it. Then about another fifteen to perform the spell while I gave it to you a drop at a time so you wouldn’t choke. That’s forty-five minutes where you weren’t breathing. Forty-five minutes where you were dead and we didn’t know if we could get you back.”

Alec reaches out, rubbing his hand down Magnus’ upper arm. “You saved me, though. You brought me back.”

“I know. But you asked how bad it was. So. Now you know.”

“No wonder Jace and Izzy are freaked out.” Alec frowns. “I’m surprised _you’re_ not freaked out.”

Magnus shakes his head. “I won’t say it didn’t upset me, because it did. But I’m more accustomed than they are to the idea of people dying before I’m ready. Although,” he adds, taking a sip of his coffee, “I would appreciate it if you could hold off a little bit longer. It’s barely been three months.”

“Yeah. Sorry.” Alec hunches his shoulders inwards. “It’s not really what I had planned for the day either.”

“Life can be brutally unfair that way,” Magnus says.

“I’ll try not to do it again.”

“See that you do.”

“No, I mean it.” Alec glances over at him, his eyes flicking over Magnus’ face. “I’m not leaving. I promise.”

Magnus presses his lips together, then stops and inhales slowly. “I understand that you want to reassure me, but you shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep – ”

Alec puts an arm around Magnus’ shoulders, pulls him in for an embrace, cradles Magnus’ cheek against his chest. “I’m not leaving, Magnus.”

Magnus closes his eyes and just lets Alec hold him for a minute. Finally, he musters up enough self-control to speak without his voice cracking. “Good. Don’t you dare. Don’t – ” He stops and takes another breath. “Don’t even think about it. I absolutely won’t allow it.”

For a long minute, Alec just holds him while Magnus does his best not to clutch at Alec’s shirt. Finally, he lets go and says, “Besides, if things keep going this way, I might not even be hunting demons much longer. My mom seems pretty pissed. I wouldn’t put it past her if she tried to get me drummed out of the ranks.”

“Does she actually have the authority to do that?” Magnus asks, taking a somewhat reluctant step away.

“Sort of. I mean, technically she’s in charge of the Institute, or at least she was until Lydia showed up. She could try to have me transferred to another Institute or to a noncombatant position, because she knows I’d rather quit than do either of those things.”

“Mm hm.” Magnus runs a finger up and down Alec’s chest. “Is that what had you upset after you came back from Idris?”

“No, that was just . . .” Alec pushes a hand back through his hair. “I just don’t get it. I don’t understand why she’d rather me be dead than dating a Downworlder.”

“Oh, Alec, I’m sure she wouldn’t . . .” Magnus feels Alec go tense underneath his hand, and stops. “She said that.”

Alec looks away and then nods.

“She _actually said that_ ,” Magnus repeats, slowly, carefully. He has to close his eyes for a minute, pushing away long-buried memories from his own childhood. When he opens them again, he’s managed to squelch his temper, at least for the time being. “I’m sorry. I would explain it to you if I could.”

“All my life, I’ve done everything she’s _ever_ wanted.” Alec pulls away and starts walking back and forth, fists clenched. “I studied, I fought, I _won_. I ran the Institute that she had charge of so she could stay back in Idris with her politics and her, her sucking up to the Clave. I never asked questions, never disobeyed. And she won’t let me have this _one thing_. It’s the only thing I’ve ever asked for, and she won’t let me have it.”

“Maybe that’s why.” Magnus is aware that offering a poor rationale for Maryse’s treatment of Alec won’t make him feel any better. But it might help Alec. “She saw you as an extension of herself. Now she’s afraid she’s losing you.”

“So she’d rather I be _dead_?” Alec asks.

Magnus winces. Apparently, rationale was not what Alec needed. “No. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have attempted to excuse her behavior. But I’m afraid if I start to say what I’m really thinking, I might not stop.”

“Has that ever stopped you before?” Alec asks, glancing over at him and managing a wry smile.

“I suppose not. Would it help you to hear that she’s a self-centered harpy? That she values her reputation more than she values you, or indeed any of her children? That she sees all of you as ways for herself to gain power and prestige?” Magnus wonders if he should stop, but Alec is just looking at him intently. “Her behavior is unforgivable and intolerable. She is a poor excuse for any sort of being, let alone one that is ostensibly part angel, and lower than the lowest Downworlder has ever thought to be. Even we love our children.”

Alec lets out a breath. “Yeah. Maybe that does help.”

Magnus takes both of Alec’s hands in his, squeezes them tightly. “You have to understand, Alec. It _isn’t you_. It is her. Only her. Her coldness, her incapacity to love, her ego. You are not to blame for her behavior.”

“I know that. I honestly do. Because . . .” Alec looks away, his cheeks flushing with shame. “Because she’s always treated Izzy that way. I knew Izzy didn’t deserve it. So I guess I don’t either. I just wish I knew what to do.”

“You don’t need to do anything other than exactly what you’re doing. Keep being the brilliant Shadowhunter with the most fabulous boyfriend in existence,” Magnus says, and Alec’s lips crack in a smile again. “As far as we’re concerned, your mother doesn’t exist. You and I are going to live amazing lives, and we’re going to do it without any help from her. Or hindrance, for that matter. Agreed?”

Alec smiles again, and it’s a sad smile, but it’s a smile. “Agreed.”

“But back to the relevant subject, I would never expect you to give up being a Shadowhunter for me. I don’t like you being in danger, of course, but you wouldn’t be you if you didn’t face danger head-on and live to tell the tale. It’s just that last part that I’m afraid I have to insist on.”

“I’ll consider it insisted on,” Alec says, and leans in for a kiss. “Can I stay here for a couple weeks?”

“Just try to leave,” Magnus murmurs against his mouth, before he puts his arms around Alec and kisses him again.

 

~ ~ ~ ~


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A break for some fluff!
> 
> Note: I've seen enough about the books to know that things discussed here are not done this way in the books, so I'm just gonna drop a reminder that this is show canon only. Book!Alec might be upset that book!Magnus had sex with other people in his past, but .... tbh it's really shitty of him to expect Magnus to be a 3-400 year old virgin and I will not be doing that, heh.

 

Magnus and Alec are thirty minutes into their third date, and Alec is much more relaxed than Magnus had expected. He had been a little surprised when Alec had agreed to go out somewhere public, an actual restaurant where it would be impossible to miss that they’re a couple. Magnus is enjoying himself, of course, because Italian restaurants are romantic and this one has decent wine and he’s flirting with Alec until he flushes pink.

Certainly nobody they’ve encountered has batted an eyelash at the concept of two men on a date. Magnus has gotten a few stares because of his outfit, but that’s all. The waitress is polite and friendly. The food is excellent. All in all, things are going well. When they finish eating, Magnus says, “You know, there’s an excellent ice cream place down the street, if you were in the mood.”

“Yeah, sure,” Alec says. It’s a nice night, and he looks a little grumpy as he walks, but then again Magnus thinks that might just be his face.

They wind up sitting at a little picnic table with their ice cream cones. Alec watches Magnus lick the ice cream and looks like he’s been hit in the face by a board. He’s practically transfixed by it. Magnus licks slower and more deliberately. Alec flushes pink and nearly drops his cone on the ground.

“You are the worst sort of person,” Alec says, staring at the table.

“The worst sort of person would have gotten a popsicle,” Magnus tells him.

Alec has to excuse himself.

Magnus chuckles to himself and continues eating his ice cream. He knows that Alec enjoys his over-the-top flirting, but he has to remember to use it in moderation. Now he’ll have to do something to make up for his terrible behavior.

He’s still thinking about that when a young woman comes up and asks if she can use his phone, because her ride is late and her battery is dead. “Certainly,” Magnus says, handing it over. She turns away to make a call. When she finishes, she looks a little upset, so he asks if she’s all right and if she needs a ride home. Alec comes back to the table while they’re talking and gives them a questioning look. The girl catches his eye, blushes, and looks away. They chat for another minute before her ride gets there and she thanks him and leaves.

“I think she thought you were cute,” Magnus says, amused.

Alec shrugs. “She’s not my type.”

“I suppose not,” Magnus says, laughing. “I don’t much care for blondes myself.”

“No, I mean.” Alec is frowning faintly. “I’m gay.”

Magnus arches an eyebrow. “Yes,” he says. “I’m aware.”

“I just . . . I’ve never actually said that out loud. That I’m gay.” Alec’s cheeks are faintly flushed, but he seems to actually be enjoying himself. “I don’t like women. I’m not attracted to them. Any of them. I don’t like looking at women and the idea of being naked with one is, quite frankly, repulsive. There. I said it.”

“Feel better?” Magnus asks, reaching out to squeeze his hand.

“A little, yeah.”

“Good.” Magnus swoops in for a kiss. Alec really does drop his ice cream cone, although he’s mostly finished, his hands coming up to frame Magnus’ face. Magnus kisses him like the sky is crashing in on them, and when Alec finally pulls away, he’s out of breath. “How about now?”

“Now I feel a lot better,” Alec says, grinning.

“Just what I like to hear.” Magnus leans in for another kiss. “Shall we continue this date back at the loft?”

“Yeah, okay.” A bit of nervousness flickers in Alec’s eyes, but Magnus doesn’t comment on it. He takes Alec’s hand as they start walking again. “Hey, can I ask you something?”

“Certainly.”

“Did you really have sex with Michelangelo?”

Magnus smirks. “Ah, so you were listening.”

“Yes, and let me tell you, it was really unnecessary. I had already noticed you were flirting with me. You have zero chill. Now answer the question.”

“What do you think?”

“I think that you’re one hundred percent capable of making up incredible lies to confuse people. I also think you’re one hundred percent capable of having slept with Michelangelo. So I’m really just curious, to be honest.”

“Ah.” Magnus laughs. “Alas, no. I never had the pleasure of meeting him in the flesh. Although I did hear plenty of rumors of that variety.”

Alec nods, then grins. “Did you even see the look on Jace’s face, though? He had no idea why you were bringing that up.”

“Your brother is . . . let’s just say that I admire him for the skills he possesses, and don’t worry about that which he doesn’t possess.”

“That’s the most eloquent way of calling Jace an idiot that I’ve ever heard.”

Magnus takes a shallow bow. “I do try.”

They don’t talk about it anymore until they’re back at the loft and sitting on the sofa. Magnus is kissing him, slow and deep and with fervor, and he’s enjoying it immensely. Alec’s got one hand on the side of his face and another on the back of his neck, and he’s trembling a little from both excitement and nerves.

A little abruptly, Alec pulls away. “Have you been with . . . a lot of people?”

Magnus steels his nerves. He’s had this conversation a few times before, and if someone bothers to ask in the first place, it never goes well. He won’t lie, but instead ducks the question, hoping to get a better read on Alec’s attitude before he presses forward. “I suppose that would depend on how you define ‘a lot’.”

“I don’t know, really.” Alec chews on his lower lip and darts a look up at Magnus’ face. “It’s just, you know . . . I probably won’t . . . be anything like them.”

“Well, of course not.” Magnus leans forward and brushes another gentle kiss over Alec’s mouth. “That’s the joy of it. You can drink a hundred varieties of wine over the course of your life and still be interested in trying a new one.”

“Yeah, but what if . . . what if the wine isn’t very experienced at . . .” Alec groans and drops his head into his hands. “I can’t work with this metaphor, Magnus.”

“I do apologize.” Magnus has to bite back a laugh, not wanting to hurt Alec’s feelings. “But if you’re worried that you won’t measure up, believe me, you shouldn’t. I don’t expect the world of you, darling. I’m sure you weren’t an expert archer the first time you picked up your bow. How do you get better at something? You . . . practice.” He leans back in for another kiss, and this time Alec responds, kissing him back hungrily.

This goes on for several long, glorious minutes before they have to come up for air. Magnus wastes no time leaning in to nuzzle at Alec’s neck, licking along the rune there. Alec pulls in a shaky breath, one hand clenching down on the back of Magnus’ shirt. “Okay, I, uh . . . that um, that’s . . .”

Magnus pulls away and rests his finger along Alec’s lips. As usual, Alec smiles, a smile that’s both happiness and an edge of relief, because he knows that Magnus understands him. “Don’t worry, Alexander. This doesn’t need to go any further than you want it to go. We can stop any time.”

“I don’t want you to stop right this minute, I just . . .” Alec fumbles for words and seems to fall back on his training. “I don’t know the protocol.”

“It’s different for everyone, to be honest.” Magnus pulls away slightly. “But if you think things are getting a little too involved, just take a step back. I can take a cue. I promise.”

“Okay.” Alec lets out a breath, then nods. “I can do that.”

“Good. Now . . .” Magnus reaches out and traces his fingers over the deflect rune. “Tell me about your runes.”

Alec frowns. “You know what they mean.”

“I know, but each one must come with a story, doesn’t it? Where you were, what you were doing. Like the healing rune on your side.” Magnus’ hand slips underneath Alec’s shirt to rest on it, and Alec’s breath hitches. “Tell me about that.”

“Is - is this just a ploy to get my shirt off?” Alec asks, as Magnus continues to push it higher.

Magnus laughs quietly. “Obviously.”

They don’t wind up talking about the runes very much.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for Magnus' absence in this chapter. He'll be back soon, I promise. <3

“Hey, uh, got a sec?” Alec asks, poking his head into Izzy’s room while she’s doing her hair. She looks up, a little surprised, but then waves for him to come in. He does, and shuts the door after him.

“What’s on your mind, big brother?” she asks, and she pins down a loose strand.

“Can I ask you a question that you might find insulting, with the assurance that I don’t mean it that way?” Alec asks.

Izzy wants to laugh, but Alec looks genuinely nervous, one hand tugging at the hem of his shirt. “Sure.”

“Do you think that it’s like . . . bad . . . that I don’t want to have sex with Magnus yet?” Alec’s gaze flickers to her face and then away. “I mean, you’ve had sex with a lot of people. Which is fine, I’m not saying that’s a bad thing. In fact, I think I’m the weird one here. But Magnus just says it’s okay, and I’m not sure if it actually _is_ okay or if he’s just saying that because he doesn’t want me to feel bad.”

“I don’t think Magnus would say something was okay if it wasn’t,” Izzy says with a shrug. “But no, I don’t think it’s bad, or even weird. Sex is different things to different people. I have sex for fun, and I don’t equate it with love. You do. Lots of people do, and I try not to have sex with them because we’re getting different things out of it, asking for different things from it.”

“Okay.” Alec heaves out a breath, a little of the tension going out of his shoulders. “Okay, yeah, good.”

“To be honest, I’m not even a little surprised,” Izzy says, laughing quietly. “It’s just the way you are. You have to be comfortable with one thing before pushing on to the next. You didn’t start archery with live targets, you didn’t learn to swim by diving into the deep end. So yeah, if you’d jumped into the sack with Magnus, I would’ve thought that was really strange.”

“I just, you know, I don’t want to disappoint him?” Alec makes an acutely embarrassed face, rubbing his hand over the back of his head. “So part of me wants to wait. But then I worry that making him wait _is_ disappointing him.”

“Rule number one when it comes to sex, big brother: nobody gets to demand it of you. Ever. Whether you’re not ready, you’re not into that person, you’re just not in the mood. Doesn’t matter. You have the final say.” Izzy reaches out and flicks his nose. “But I’m pretty sure that Magnus isn’t disappointed in you or your relationship because you haven’t had sex with him yet. He’s lived long enough to learn patience and self-control.”

“Not that you’d know to look at him,” Alec says, rolling his eyes but grinning.

Izzy snorts. “That being said, because I know you, you don’t have to wait until you think it’s going to be perfect. You don’t have to memorize the kama sutra. Nobody bends like that anyway. Sex can be kind of messy and awkward and it doesn’t always go exactly the way you imagined, and that’s okay. And there’s always a learning curve. Things get better with practice, especially with the same partner. Even for people who are experienced.”

“Yeah, that’s what Magnus said.” Alec flushes faintly pink. “That we need to practice.”

“I’m sure that’ll be a real hardship for you.”

“Hard is the word, yeah,” Alec says, and Izzy cackles. “Anyway, thanks. It’s like, I know I can talk about this stuff with him, but sometimes it’s just like . . . he’s so smooth and unflappable and understanding, and I’m like this awkward turtle, and I want to shake him and tell him to stop being so amazing because he’s making me look bad.”

“You wouldn’t want him any other way,” Izzy says, and laughs. “But I know the feel. My first time with a fae? His hair was _perfect_. And so soft and in place _the entire time_. Meanwhile I’m tumbling around with half of it in my mouth wondering if he has anything as plebian as a hair tie.”

Now Alec is laughing too. “And those damned satin sheets! I’m constantly in danger of falling off the bed!”

“Satin sheets, are you kidding? I’d be everywhere! Those are not the type of gymnastics I signed up for!”

“I’m pretty sure he thinks I always try to stay on the sofa because I don’t want to lead him on, but no, I’d be totally happy in the bedroom if I wasn’t constantly worried about getting a concussion. And he does have perfect hair, by the way. No matter what we do. Sometimes it gets messed up, sure, but it only looks _better_ that way. How is that fair?”

Izzy shrugs. “That’s a guy thing. Your hair looks better messed up, too.”

“I guess so. Once I tried to get it nice and orderly before a date and he insisted on mussing it up before he would be seen in public with me.”

“That’s adorable,” Izzy says, biting back a grin.

“Whatever,” Alec grumbles. He rubs a hand over the back of his head. “Hey, uh . . . sorry that I was never really good about standing up for you, whenever Mom got on your case about all this stuff.”

Izzy flicks his nose again. “Don’t think I didn’t notice all the times that you tried to draw her attention away. I remember when you never wore button-up shirts.”

“Yeah, but letting Mom pick out my shirts is a pretty small sacrifice when it seemed like . . . nothing we ever did would be good enough for her. It’s weird, isn’t it? I mean, the way we’re so different. You just went off and did your own thing while I tried even harder to do what Mom wanted. To _be_ what she wanted.”

“She was never happy, and she made everyone around her miserable.” Izzy shrugs. “I didn’t want to be unhappy, or make you unhappy. I was afraid I would turn into her.”

“I nearly did,” Alec says gloomily.

Izzy snorts. “On your worst day, you had a long way to go, big brother. And I think you’re doing a pretty good job of breaking out of your mold and turning into your natural Alec shape.” She pokes him in the arm as if testing his malleability.

“I guess so. I just wish . . .” Alec trails off in frustration. “Magnus is so . . . amazing, and being with him makes me really happy, and I feel like if Mom could just pay attention for _thirty_ _seconds_ , she would see that. But she just won’t do it.”

Izzy has to stop and think about that for a minute, because she wants to come up with something that will actually be useful. “I don’t think it’s about paying attention. Because it’s really obvious that Magnus makes you happy, and that you make him happy. It’s _glaringly_ obvious. People that don’t even know you can tell. But Mom doesn’t want to see it, so she turns a blind eye.” She sighs and adds, “Which probably doesn’t make you feel any better.”

“Well, it doesn’t make me feel worse,” Alec says, with a shrug.

“I think Dad might come around, if you give him time.”

Alec wrinkles his nose. “It’s not that I don’t care about what Dad thinks? It’s just, I never had to work even a tenth as hard to get his approval, so it’s never mattered to me very much.”

“So, it’s not that you don’t care what Dad thinks, it’s just that you don’t care what Dad thinks?”

Alec makes a face at her.

“Very mature, big brother,” Izzy says, laughing. “But remember what you said the last time you argued with Mom? You knew she was never going to approve, so you weren’t going to bother trying anymore. I just reached that stage years ago. Do you know when I forgave you for not standing up for me against Mom?”

“Oh, God. When?”

“The first time I showed up for a mission and I was wearing that tiny black dress and you said ‘what are you wearing?’ in that super offended tone of voice? And I was all set to tear your head off and then you were like ‘how is that hiding your weapons? Are you going to be able to fight? The skirt looks too tight for you to kick someone in the face.’” Izzy is laughing now, and a reluctant smile tugs at Alec’s face. “And once I proved to you that yes, I could kick just as much ass in a tight black dress, you said ‘okay then’ and we went on the mission and everything was fine. Because you didn’t care about what people thought of me. You just wanted to make sure I was safe.”

“Someone has to,” Alec says, feigning grumpiness.

“You never judged me for having a thing for the seelie. You just told me to make sure I knew what I was getting into, and to be careful because fae can’t be trusted. You might not have told Mom to get off my case, but it’s not like I told her to get off yours, either. You’ve had my back when it mattered. It’s not like Mom came here for my trial. So don’t worry so much.”

Alec opens his mouth.

“You know, inasmuch as that’s possible for you,” Izzy modifies, and he flips her off in response.

 

~ ~ ~ ~


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is definitely my favorite ficlet so far. So much drama! And hurt! And comfort! That last part is especially important to me.
> 
> I did upgrade this to being rated M partly because this chapter gets a wee bit smutty (before Alec slammed the metaphorical door in my face and demanded privacy) and also because some later fics I wrote get very ... uh .... mean to certain characters. I'm a terrible person, let's just put it that way. <3

 

Tuesday isn’t going on Magnus’ list of best days ever. He’d spent the day doing wards for an overly nervous warlock in Queens. He had a message from Alec at the end of the day, asking if he wanted to hang out, but by then it was too late to call Alec back and ask him to come over, although still too early to turn in himself. He headed down to the club figuring he would call Alec the next morning. He thought about sending a text, but decided against it. It was never a bad idea to leave someone wanting more.

So he went down to Pandemonium, got himself a drink, and started chatting with an incubus about business. Two swallows in, and he started to feel a little bit odd, and that was the last thing he remembered.

Now he’s been chained up like an animal, and he’s thinking about all the things he’s going to do to that bartender when he gets his hands on him. And he certainly isn’t sticking around here. He has enough magic to level the entire building; breaking the lock on his chains shouldn’t be any sort of problem.

But the instant he reaches for his magic, a sickening wave of pain and nausea crashes over him. He winds up on his side, gagging and gasping for breath. It feels like everything from his knees to his neck is being stabbed by a thousand knives. He closes his eyes and tries to focus again, and the pain only redoubles, forcing him to strangle back a scream.

“Oh, you won’t be able to do any magic, I’m afraid,” a voice says. “It takes a high dose of that drug to get through to a warlock as powerful as you, but it works. I hope it won’t have any long-lasting effects.”

“One of those long-lasting effects is going to be your head on a pike,” Magnus snarls, hands clenching into fists. His rings are gone. All his jewelry is gone, as is everything except his undershirt and pants. He has no doubt that he’s been thoroughly searched.

“We’ll see.” The man unlocks the cage door, and Magnus sees that he’s flanked by two of the Forsaken zombies that Valentine had created. That answers the question of who’s sponsoring this little party, although he hadn’t really wondered. He turns to the table and starts filling up a syringe. “We’ve got some questions for you, warlock. About a certain pretty little redhead and her friends.”

Magnus manages to muster up a charming smile as the two Forsaken drag him to his feet. “I would rather roast in Hell for all eternity than give up my worst enemy to you.”

“They told me you were a drama queen, but that seems a little excessive,” the man says, before jabbing the syringe into Magnus’ throat.

He screams. It’s involuntary, a noise ripped from his throat and cast into the sky. The Forsaken hold him up as his body writhes and spasms. He instinctively reaches for his magic to combat the pain, to strike out, to get away, to do _anything_. That only causes another wave of agony to go through him.

“Now,” the man says, “let’s talk.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

Magnus missing one phone call isn’t a big deal. He’s got his own life, his own problems, that sometimes have nothing to do with Shadowhunters. Plus he does work for a living - magic doesn’t come cheap, especially not from the High Warlock of Brooklyn, but he’s still in high demand.

When Magnus doesn’t call _back_ , that’s more cause for concern. He’s good about returning messages, especially those from Alec, especially when Alec wants to see him. It’s worrisome enough that when he doesn’t answer his phone a second time, Alec goes over to his place to see if something’s wrong. Magnus isn’t there, either.

Alec calls Izzy. “Hey, uh, do you know if I did something to piss Magnus off? He’s not answering my calls.”

“I don’t think so,” Izzy says. “Did you check the club? Maybe he just can’t hear his phone.”

“Yeah, he didn’t answer yesterday either. I’ll go there next, see if I can find him.”

“I’ll meet you there.” Izzy hangs up before Alec can tell her not to bother. He’s probably just being clingy. It’s not like he and Magnus see each other every day or even talk every day, although it’s getting to the point where it’s more unusual if they don’t. They don’t live in each other’s back pockets. But this not being able to talk to Magnus when he wants to - that doesn’t feel right to him. He feels like Magnus would have at least let him know ahead of time if he was going to be unavailable.

Izzy beats him to the club, and she’s brought Jace along. That eases Alec’s nerves a little, because clearly Izzy thinks it’s weird that Magnus isn’t answering Alec’s calls, too. He’s not just being an overprotective boyfriend.

Of course, the alternative, that something is actually wrong, is even more frightening. But he squelches the impulse to panic and goes over to talk to the bartender. “Hey. Magnus around?”

“Haven’t seen him today,” the man says, polishing a glass.

“When was the last time you saw him?”

“Yesterday. He left early, maybe tennish? Had some cute twink with him,” the man adds, smirking at Alec.

Alec’s jaw tightens.”Describe him?”

“Tall, blonde, pretty well-built. No tattoos, so not one of you guys, I guess.”

“Thanks.” Alec turns away and heads out the front of the club. He’s glad now that he’d had the foresight to bring one of Magnus’ rings from the warlock’s loft. He takes out his stele to do a tracking spell.

“Whoa, hey,” Jace says. “Are we sure that’s really a good idea?”

Alec looks at him like he’s insane. “Magnus left the club last night with a stranger, isn’t at his place, isn’t returning my calls. Yeah, Jace, I think looking for him is a good idea.”

“Well, yeah, but . . .” Jace clears his throat. “We don’t have any evidence that he didn’t go with this guy of his own free will. I’m just saying, you try to track him, you might not like what you find at the other end of that spell.”

Alec ignores him, closing his eyes for focus. But there’s nothing, just a vague, nebulous wall. No Magnus. “I’m not getting anything. Track with me.”

“Alec, come on,” Jace says. “He hasn’t even been gone twenty-four hours, I don’t think - ”

“Either help me look for Magnus, or you’re going to be looking for your teeth in the dirt,” Alec says.

Jace raises his hands in surrender. He darts a glance at Izzy, who just gives a shrug as if to say that she’s not getting involved. Jace lets Alec draw the spell on his palm and clasps hands with him.

A minute later, Alec has it, and it’s not too far. “Okay,” he says, “let’s go.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

Magnus doesn’t know how long it’s been. There have been quite a few cycles of pain, questions, pain, a brief respite, some water, more questions, more pain. He’s passed out at least once, but they gave him more drugs that felt like plugging him into a live wire to keep him awake. They’ve chained him up with his arms above his head and his feet dangling off the floor. He keeps trying to do magic and nearly throwing up afterwards. It’s so instinctive for him that he honestly can’t stop himself. For him, using magic is as natural and involuntary as breathing.

“So what’s your stake in this, warlock?” his captor asks as he draws up another syringe of a pale green liquid. “It can’t honestly be spite. Nobody endures this much pain out of spite. Give me what I want, and I’ll let you go.”

“You’ll kill me,” Magnus says.

The man shrugs. “Six to one half dozen of the other.”

Magnus says nothing. Each breath is a struggle, and he’s not wasting any on this man.

“So if you’re not just refusing to answer me out of spite, then what is it? I can’t believe you actually care about our little miss Fairchild. Not somebody like you.” The man stands in front of Magnus, pressing the very tip of the needle against his throat, scoring a line on the flesh there. “Which leaves this: you’re stalling. You’re hoping the Shadowhunters will come for you. But that’s not going to happen. You know that, right?”

Magnus pulls back as much as he can with the Forsaken holding him. “Do we need to have a talk about personal space?”

The man leans in, meeting Magnus’ gaze. “Don’t think that I don’t know about your cute little Shadowhunter boytoy. I made sure he knows you left the club last night with another man. He thinks you’re off somewhere fooling around on him.” He sees Magnus’ jaw tighten, and grins. “Maybe you want to think he won’t believe it, but you know he will. You know it in here.” He presses the needle in just over Magnus’ heart. “You know your own reputation. You know he’ll believe it. So nobody’s coming for you, Bane. Get that through your head right now.”

“I beg your pardon,” Magnus says, “when I put my mind to it, I can make anyone come for me.”

An ugly scowl crosses the man’s face, and he pushes the needle into Magnus’ chest. Magnus grits his teeth, choking back the scream that wants to escape. The pain flares out, a white hot crawl through his veins.

“Let’s talk about the Mortal Cup,” the man says.

Some time later, Magnus feels that jolt of energy and realizes he passed out and they dosed him again. He takes several gasping breaths, feeling his heart beat hard in his chest.

“Careful, don’t give him too much of that,” someone in the background says. “It’ll mess with the other drugs.”

“So I’ll give him more of those, too,” his captor says, and Magnus feels another needle slide into his arm. Then they lift him up so his feet are off the floor again. His shoulders ache, and it’s getting hard to draw in each breath. His feet kick involuntarily. “Now, where were – ”

There’s a twang, a thump, and a cry of pain. Magnus’ eyes snap open, and he sees his captor dropping the syringe he had picked up, an arrow through his forearm. Seconds later, another arrow goes through his throat, and he collapses to the ground.

“Alexander,” Magnus says, or at least he tries to, but his throat is so dry and raw that all that really comes out is a hoarse whisper.

“Hey, hey, I’m here, I’ve got you,” Alec says, already across the warehouse and lifting Magnus up to get his wrists off the hook. Pain flares up in his shoulders, and he grits his teeth against it but can’t hold back the smallest noise. “You’re okay, I’ve got you.”

There are more thumps, a muffled crash. Jace comes running up. “There’s too many of them, portal us out of here – ”

Magnus only manages to shakes his head and whisper, “Can’t.”

“You can’t? Why – ”

“He says he can’t,” Alec snaps at Jace. In a much gentler tone, he says, “Can you walk? Here, let me – ”

Magnus nods a little, stumbling but bracing himself against Alec. His legs don’t want to cooperate. He keeps trying to think of something funny to say, something pithy that will reassure Alec that he’s all right. But the world keeps washing red with pain and to be honest, he’s so glad to see Alec that he could cry.

“Izzy!” Alec shouts.

“No good over here, the staircase is full of them!”

“The back is blocked, too.” Jace’s voice is hurting Magnus’ ears. “Alec, we have to – ”

“Son of a bitch!” Alec swears, and staggers suddenly, nearly dropping Magnus to the ground. Magnus can smell it, the hot scent of fresh blood. He looks down and sees several drops of red fall to the concrete.

“Alec!” There’s a loud thump.

“I’m okay, he just – ” Alec says, but there’s pain in his voice, a little tightness that Magnus can recognize. They had hurt Alec. Alec, who had come to rescue him, who had trusted him, believed in him. Alec was hurt.

He can feel the magic at his fingertips, and it comes with another rush of nauseating pain, but somehow the rage overrides it. He can’t control it. It’s too much. It bursts out of him in a rush of blue fire that obliterates everything in its path.

Someone is screaming. It takes him far too long to realize that it’s him.

Suddenly, everything is quiet. His shoulders heave as he tries to catch his breath. The building is in ruins around them, and although there are plenty of bodies in the wreckage, the three Shadowhunters are untouched. Jace and Izzy look stunned, but Alec is staring at Magnus in a mixture of concern and relief.

“Magnus,” he says. “We’re okay. You’re okay.”

Magnus manages a shaky nod. “I – didn’t exactly – mean to – ” he gets out, before he stumbles out of Alec’s arms and goes to his knees to be sick in the debris. Alec hovers behind him, rubbing his back and bracing him. His stomach settles after a minute, although even the slightest movement sends new jolts of pain up and down his nerves. “Are you hurt?”

“Just a graze. I’m fine, honestly. Let’s get you out of here, okay?”

Magnus nods again. Izzy extends a hand, and she and Alec help him to his feet. The world washes gray, then white. He’s only dimly aware of Alec’s arms around him before he passes out.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

Alec thinks about bringing Magnus back to his own apartment, where he would undoubtedly rather be. But then he thinks about how sick he looks, how he’s clearly hurt and not healing, on top of the fact that he can’t control his magic. He fishes around in the debris and finds some of the syringes. “We need to run a chem analysis on these immediately, figure out what they gave him,” he says, handing them to Izzy.

“I’m on it,” Izzy says. Alec picks Magnus up, cradling the warlock’s head against his shoulder. Jace covers their retreat as they head back to the Institute.

By the time they get there, Magnus is stirring. Alec’s trying to move him as little as possible, since he’s obviously in a lot of pain. He can see sweat beading on Magnus’ forehead, see where his makeup has run from tears he probably didn’t even realize he was crying. With Izzy on the case and Jace making their report – with as little detail as possible, Alec instructs him – Alec takes Magnus back to his own room and lays him down on the bed.

Magnus’ eyes open. He stares up at Alec for a long moment before he whispers, “I didn’t tell them anything.”

“Nobody is worried about that, for God’s sake,” Alec says, smoothing back his hair. “Just take it easy. Let me get you some water.” He gets up and finds a cup. But as soon as Magnus takes a sip, his face creases in pain. He’s clearly trying to hide it. “Do you know what they gave you? Why you’re not healing?”

“Not specifically.” Magnus tries to take another sip and winces. “Just that – it was more than one thing. One to keep me from using magic. Another – to try to make me talk, I think? I’m not sure.” He leans back against the pillows. “Another to keep me awake. God only knows what Valentine’s cooked up in that lab of his.”

“Izzy will figure it out. You just – rest, okay?”

Magnus nods, stays still for almost two seconds, and then starts struggling to sit up. “I’m going to be sick,” he chokes out, and Alec barely manages to get him sitting up and leaning over the trash can before he throws up again.

“God, you’re burning up,” he says, putting his hand on the back of Magnus’ neck. He gets him lying back down on his side. Magnus curls up slightly. “Come on, Izzy . . .”

“’m all right,” Magnus murmurs, hearing the concern in his voice. “You came for me. I’m all right . . .”

“Of course I came for you.” Alec is glowering at him. “What kind of idiocy is that?”

Magnus barks out a short, sharp laugh, then fights against another wave of nausea, squeezing Alec’s hand. Before he can say anything, Alec’s phone rings and he grabs it. “What’d you find out?” he demands.

“Well, the good news is that nothing in here is fatal,” Izzy says. “There are some combinations I’ve never seen before, and I’m not sure exactly _how_ it blocked Magnus’ magic, but I think as long as he takes it easy until he’s feeling better, he shouldn’t, you know, level any more buildings. The bad news is, since I don’t even know how half these things interact, I don’t dare try to create any sort of antidote. He’s going to have to wait for it to wear off. Looking at the doses that would have been necessary to work on a warlock as powerful as he is, it’s probably going to take a few days.”

Alec grinds his teeth and looks at where Magnus is curled up on his bed. He trusts Izzy, so if she says she can’t do it, he believes her. He still wants to shake her until a cure falls out. “Okay. Hey, can you do something for me? Grab some of your makeup-wipe things and bring them here?”

“Sure. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

Alec tucks his phone away and leans back over Magnus. For a minute, he thinks he’s fallen asleep, but then his eyes open again. “What’s the news?” he asks, trying to sound casual. It doesn’t work at all, given how strained his voice is.

“You’re going to be fine, but it’ll take a few days for the poison to work its way out of your system,” Alec says. Magnus gives a little nod, then clearly regrets it, closing his eyes and pressing his lips together as he fights more nausea. “Izzy’s going to bring some of her stuff so I can get you cleaned up.”

At this, Magnus’ eyes open again. “Don’t – don’t let anyone see me like this. All right? Please?”

“Sure,” Alec says, wiping away a little bit of smudged mascara. “Yeah, no problem.”

Izzy shows up a few minutes later with a packet of makeup removal wipes and two mugs of tea that she’s made. Alec takes them and thanks her. “I’m going to stay with him until he’s feeling better,” he says, “so you’re in charge. Come get me if you need me, but don’t need me for anything short of Valentine walking into the Institute with the Mortal Cup in his hand. Got it?”

“Yes, sir,” Izzy says, sounding a little bit amused, but also a little bit worried.

Alec sits back down next to Magnus and takes out one of the wipes. “Hold still, okay?” he says, and begins to carefully clean the makeup off. Magnus doesn’t move, although he makes a soft, plaintive noise when Alec gets to his eyeshadow and mascara. “Hey, easy. I let you poke at my eyes with this stuff. Fair’s fair.”

At this, Magnus huffs out a soft laugh that turns into a groan of pain. Alec finishes cleaning his face off, then brushes out Magnus’ hair until the tangles are out and it’s lying flat. “Better, yeah?” he says. “Now get some rest. I’ll be right here.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

The next few days are worse than Alec would have imagined. Magnus has brief lucid periods before his fever spikes and he tosses and turns, gritting his teeth against the pain. He’s alternately burning hot or freezing cold. Whenever Alec tries to give him blankets, he pushes them away, saying that they hurt. His skin seems overly sensitive; even the lightest touches make him cry out.

He’s frequently hit by spells of brief, intense nausea that leave him gagging and choking even though his stomach is completely empty. When those are over, he falls back against the pillows into a sleep so deep that Alec finds himself constantly checking Magnus’ pulse. He’ll rouse little by little as the fever and the pain drive the sleep away.

After the first few hours, Alec completely understands why Magnus doesn’t want anyone else present for this. The warlock capitalizes on the image of being powerful, untouchable. And now he’s so weak that he can’t even hold a cup of water to his mouth. Alec has to force him to drink, then carry him to the bathroom. Nobody wants to be seen in a state like that, especially not somebody like Magnus Bane.

Of course, that presents a problem for him. There’s no one besides Izzy that he would trust to watch over Magnus. Well – and Clary, as much as he wouldn’t admit it out loud. But he can’t bring himself to go against Magnus’ request. That means he’s going to have to stay with Magnus until he’s fully recovered.

It’s fine for the first day and into the second. A little boring. He reads when he has the chance, and sometimes reads to Magnus, when he looks like he might be in the mood to appreciate it. He keeps himself busy checking Magnus’ temperature and his heartbeat, applying cold compresses to his forehead. Izzy has talked to the people at the kitchen and they’re sending up meals for him. He tries to coax Magnus into eating the first one, but the warlock doesn’t want anything besides water, preferably cold water. Even that, he frequently throws back up.

By the morning of the third day, Alec is nodding off despite himself, which almost turns into a disaster when Magnus starts throwing up and Alec nearly doesn’t wake up in time to get him bent over the trash can. He splashes some cold water on his face and takes out his stele to use the rune for wakefulness. It stings, and he bites his lower lip as he burns it into his skin.

Magnus is sleeping quietly by that afternoon, and hasn’t thrown up in several hours, so Alec is starting to hope that the worst of it is over. It’s different from the stupor he had sunk into earlier. His color is better, and although he still has a fever, his temperature is a lot lower. He doesn’t flinch when Alec pats his forehead with a damp cloth. Alec stands up to do some stretches, because his back is starting to cramp up after all the time in the chair beside his bed.

There’s a knock on his door a few minutes later, but he ignores it. The kitchen staff knows by now to just leave the food outside his door and he’ll get it when he has a spare minute. Magnus starts to stir, and Alec goes over to the bed to see if he’s going to need to be sick. He’s just knelt beside him and taken his hand when the door opens and Maryse bursts in.

“What are you doing here?” Alec asks, startling to his feet. His gaze darts over to Magnus, sick, vulnerable, ‘please don’t let anyone see me like this’ Magnus, and he adds, “You can’t be in here right now.”

“I beg your pardon!” Maryse sounds as affronted as usual. She sees Magnus in the bed and goes from affronted to spitting mad in seconds. “That warlock is the one who’s not allowed to be here!”

“You didn’t seem to have a problem with him being here when he was doing wards to keep out the Forsaken,” Alec points out.

“Which he charged us a fortune to do,” Maryse sneers. “Is that why he’s here? These warlocks will do anything if you pay them enough – ”

Alec’s temper, thin enough from lack of sleep, snaps. “Enough! I put up with it when you made insinuations. I walked away when you told me you’d be happier if I was dead. But I _will not_ stand here in my own room while you call the man I love a whore! Get out, before I put you out!”

“What did you just – ”

Alec grabs her by the forearm and pushes her backwards, manhandling her until she’s outside the room before slamming the door in her face. It takes only a second to draw a locking rune, then shove a chair underneath the handle. Then he has to stop and take a deep breath in order to keep himself from screaming. He walks back over to Magnus and sits down on the edge of the bed.

“Hey,” Magnus says, his voice hoarse.

“Shit, did I wake you?” Alec feels his throat clog with frustration and fatigue. “Sorry.”

Magnus gives his head a little shake. He’s looking at Alec with a mixture of sorrow and affection. “I love you, too.”

“What? I – oh.” Alec flushes pink. He rubs a hand over the back of his head. “Yeah. I love you. I said that already.”

“You did, but I don’t mind if you want to say it again,” Magnus murmurs. His eyes slide closed. “I’m very tired.”

“Drink some water before you fall back to sleep,” Alec says, getting up so he can get the glass and refill it. Magnus wrinkles his nose in what is frankly an adorable expression, but drinks about half the glass before he passes out again.

Alec sits down on the side of his bed and rakes both hands through his hair. He redraws the wakefulness rune and goes to get a book.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

When Magnus wakes up on the fourth day, he finally feels clear headed again. He’s not sure what woke him until he hears Alec talking. “Yeah, it doesn’t surprise me . . . yeah. No, I appreciate the heads up . . . soon, I hope. Okay. Thanks, Lydia.”

Magnus opens his eyes and looks around, trying to regain his bearings. The last few days are blessedly fuzzy, but there are parts he remembers well, and Alec’s argument with his mother the previous day is one of those parts. If Lydia is calling to give him a ‘heads up’ about something, it has to be that his mother is trying to get him removed from the Institute.

That doesn’t matter at the moment, because when Alec turns and sees Magnus awake, his face transforms into that somewhat dippy grin that Magnus loves so much. “Hey, you’re up. Your fever is finally gone. How are you feeling?”

“Somewhat more like myself, thank you.” Magnus accepts the glass of water, and the first swallow wakes up his stomach. “And starving.”

“I’ll have Izzy bring us some breakfast. Just something plain.” Alec gets back on his phone and texts busily with one hand, his other laced through Magnus’.

Magnus watches him, thinking back on the few days, of Alec’s constant presence and reassurance. He’s trying to think of something to say that will properly express his gratitude, but he’s not sure there are words in any language he knows for that. So he changes the subject. “What was Lydia calling about?”

“Nothing important,” Alec says. He sees the dubious expression on Magnus’ face and huffs out a sigh. “I don’t really want to talk about it, okay? I’m pretty tired. I’ll deal with it later.”

Magnus nods. “You look tired.”

“Thanks,” Alec grumbles. He gets up and goes to refill the glass of water. When he comes back and hands it to Magnus, his shirt sleeve pulls up, revealing the ‘wakefulness’ rune, now red from repeated use, on his forearm.

“Oh, Alexander,” Magnus says, looking at the rune. “Have you been up this whole time? I don’t even know how long I’ve been sick – ”

“Four days,” Alec interrupts, “and yes, and that’s because someone needed to stay with you and I wanted it to be me. Besides, you said you didn’t want anyone else to see you like this. Drink your water.”

Magnus takes the glass. “On one condition. If you’ll help me wash my face, brush my hair, and put a shirt on, you’ll let Izzy stay with me while you get some sleep.”

He half-expects Alec to argue, but Alec just nods. “Yeah. If that’s okay with you.”

“It is. Help me up.”

He’s wobbly but ambulatory. Alec only has to have support him on his way to the bathroom. He washes his face and lets Alec comb his hair with a damp comb. They get him dressed in one of Alec’s soft sweaters, and then Alec helps him back into bed. He has to admit that the brief trip has exhausted him.

Barely a minute has gone by before there’s a quiet knock and then Izzy pokes her head in. Alec gestures for her to come in and shut the door behind her, which she does. “Hey, Magnus! How are you feeling?”

“Repulsive, thank you,” he says, smiling at her.

“You look repulsive,” she says, and winks before setting down the tray. It has two bowls of oatmeal and some fruit. “Who knew your hair could lie flat like that?”

“Certainly not me,” Magnus says. He wants to set to his meal with a will, but suspects that’s a bad idea. He forces himself to eat slowly. Alec has no such concerns, and is already halfway through his oatmeal. “Have I missed anything exciting?”

“Oh, not really,” Izzy says. She glances at her brother. “Did, uh, did Lydia call you?”

“Yeah,” Alec says with his mouth full.

“Okay. Oh, I just remembered – ” Izzy turns and reaches into her purse. She comes out with a small cloth bag and hands it to Magnus. He gives her a curious look before peering inside to see the rings and necklaces he had been wearing at the club that night, including his ear cuff. “Jace and I went back to see if we could find these. I figured you would want them.”

“Thank you,” Magnus says, genuinely touched. A lot of the jewelry he wears on a day to day basis is quite meaningful to him, but he wouldn’t have expected Izzy to realize that – let alone go back to an enemy’s lair to try to find what had been taken. “That reminds me. I need to go murder a bartender.”

“A specific bartender?” Izzy asks. Alec puts down his spoon and empty bowl and crawls over Magnus to lie down next to him.

“The one at the club who drugged me. I don’t like to employ people who have delivered me to my worst enemies.”

“Must be the same bartender who said he’d seen you leaving with some guy,” Izzy says.

Magnus’ mouth thins slightly. He hasn’t forgotten about what his captor had said, but had resolved not to think about it, given how wrong he had been. “So I would assume.”

“He might have information on Valentine. But I bet he’ll be gone already.” Izzy shakes her head. “We should have gone to pick him up right away. We just weren’t thinking about it. I’ll talk to Lydia and we can send a few people over to Pandemonium to see if he’s still there. Alec, does that sound okay?”

Alec doesn’t answer. His eyes are closed, and his breathing is slow and steady. Magnus looks down at him with a fond little smile. “All this talk of murder must have made him sleepy.”

“Nothing like homicide for a good bedtime story,” Izzy agrees, laughing. “Okay, I’ll take care of it. You’ll be all right?”

“I’ll be fine, honestly. I’m feeling much better.” Magnus hesitates, looking at where Alec is sleeping peacefully beside him. “Though I’m afraid I have to ask – how long am I going to be able to stay here?”

Izzy’s mouth purses. “Don’t worry about my mother, Magnus. She has no real power here anymore, and Lydia has already told her to keep her opinions about you being here to herself. In fact, I’m pretty sure that the only reason Lydia hasn’t had the Clave ban her from the Institute altogether is because she didn’t want to do that without Alec’s permission. Which I doubt he’ll give.”

Magnus thinks back to what Maryse had said the day before. “We’ll see.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

“You know,” Magnus remarks as Alec is kissing down the line of his neck, “I’m a little surprised you’re still attracted to me after what a mess I was last week.”

“Mm hm,” Alec says, clearly focused on what he’s doing and not listening even a little. Not that Magnus is objecting. Alec is delightful when he’s hyper-focused, even if it almost inevitably ends with one or both of them jerking off in the bathroom. He pushes Magnus’ shirt out of the way and nips at his collarbone, leaving Magnus breathless.

Of course, his phone chooses that moment to ring. Alec ignores it, or perhaps doesn’t even hear it, as he strips Magnus out of his shirt. “Your phone,” Magnus points out politely.

“Mm hm,” Alec says again, burying his face into the crook of Magnus’ shoulder and sucking on the skin there.

“Isn’t that Jace’s ringtone?” Magnus asks, knowing that Alec will be annoyed at himself later if he’s missed something important.

“Yeah.” Alec manages to tear himself away from Magnus at this, and he looks glorious, lips swollen from all the kissing they’ve been doing, pupils dilated so they’re swallowing up the irises of his eyes. “It’s not a mission, though. If it were, Izzy would call me. I’m not talking to Jace right now, so . . .” He swoops back to what he was doing.

“Why – oh!” Magnus tilts his head back and tries to keep his body from surging into Alec’s touch. “Why are you not talking to Jace?”

“Because he’s a jerk,” Alec murmurs into Magnus’ chest. Then he pulls away again. “He tried to tell me that we didn’t want to track you because you were probably off somewhere with some other guy.”

“Oh.” Magnus feels his smile freeze on his face. It’s not that he had forgotten about what his captor had said, but it didn’t seem worth thinking about. Somehow it doesn’t surprise him to hear that Jace had believed it, even though Alec hadn’t. “I see.”

“I haven’t gotten a chance to kick his ass, yet, so until then I’m just ignoring him.” Alec leans in for another kiss, deep and thorough, his hands cradling Magnus’ face. Then he pulls away, frowning, when Magnus doesn’t quite respond in the manner he’s used to. “You – are you actually upset about that? About Jace being a dick?”

“No, no,” Magnus says hastily. “It’s just – my captor mentioned that he had made sure you were told that, so it was rather uncomfortable for me, imagining . . .”

Alec looks up at him, startled. “You thought I would believe that?”

Magnus clears his throat. “I’m aware of my reputation, petal. I could hardly blame you if you had.”

Alec goes from startled to confused. “Why would your reputation even have anything to do with it? Yes, I know you’ve had other lovers in the past. There’s a big difference between having had other lovers and having cheated on people. I know you would never do that. That’s not the sort of person you are.”

“Plenty of people seem to think that it is.”

“Because they don’t know you. I _know_ you. That’s why I want to be with you. Never forget that I chose this.”

“I won’t,” Magnus says, and kisses him again. “Thank you.”

Alec returns the kiss and seems to almost immediately snap back into his earlier headspace. He pursues Magnus’ mouth until he has the warlock pushed back against the arm of the sofa. Magnus gets his hands underneath Alec’s shirt and strips it over his head. Alec makes a soft, needy sound in the back of his throat as Magnus’ hands trace over his chest.

About the time that they’ve rolled over so Magnus is straddling Alec’s lap and they’re grinding together like hopeless teenagers, it occurs to Magnus that right about now is when Alec usually starts pulling back. That’s the last thing Magnus wants to do, but he doesn’t want Alec losing himself in the moment and going further than he’s comfortable with, either. It doesn’t help that Alec’s hands are rubbing over the back of Magnus’ thighs and his ass in a manner that is _truly_ distracting.

“Alec,” he pants out, trying to catch his breath. He’s not even sure what he means to say, trying to somehow convey with his tone that they’re getting fairly close to the point where even he is going to lose control.

“Oh, God, don’t stop.” Alec gets the message quite clearly, and demonstrates his opinion on the matter by fumbling with the button of Magnus’ pants. “Don’t you dare stop, I, I want this, I want _you_ – ”

And if there’s a man in the universe who can resist that tone from Alec, it certainly isn’t Magnus Bane.

 

~ ~ ~ ~


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My girlfriend was sad that the show didn't include Magnus' cats, so she wanted me to give them a cat in my fic. So prepare yourself for some pointless fluff! =D

Magnus is a traditionalist in many ways, and anniversaries require elegant restaurants, expensive wines, and thoughtful gifts. He’s been counting down the days since their first kiss in the church, scouting all of Brooklyn for the perfect gift. Somehow, he’s not surprised when Alec manages to do one better.

“I, uh. I got this for you.” Alec holds out a small black jewelry box. “Made it for you, actually.” There’s a faint blush on his cheeks, and his eyes steal up to Magnus’ face while he waits for his reaction. Magnus opens the box, inside which is a silver chain and pendant the size of a half-dollar. It’s fairly plain, to be honest, unlike the jewelry he normally wears. The only decoration is a rune that’s carved into the pendant.

“It’s beautiful,” Magnus says, lifting it out of the box. “This rune . . . it’s an entry rune, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. It’s keyed to the Institute.” Alec’s gaze flicks up to Magnus’ face again. “You know, so you can get inside without needing one of us to let you in every time.”

Magnus looks up at him, a little surprised. “Is that going to be all right?”

Alec’s jaw sets in the familiar stubborn expression. “I can give you a key to my Institute if I want.” He clears his throat and adds, “But I did check it with Lydia. She said it was fine.”

“I’d say it’s more than fine.” Magnus leans in and kisses him, pulls back slightly, kisses him again. “It’s amazing.”

“It’s just a necklace,” Alec mumbles, going pink all the way up to the tips of his ears.

Magnus lets that slide. “Well. Would you like your gift from me?” he asks, and before Alec can answer, he takes a box from where he’s kept it tucked away beneath the table. Alec gives him a suspicious look, then opens it to find a soft black garment inside. He pulls it out to see that it’s a sweatshirt with a large, deep pocket on the front.

“It, uh, it’s nice,” Alec says, clearly a little befuddled to have received something so utilitarian from the normally extravagant warlock.

“I mainly got it for the pocket,” Magnus says. “You’ll need a place to keep this.”

Alec looks up to see a kitten in Magnus’ hands. “Where – where did that come from?” he asks, and Magnus just winks at him. Alec looks down at the cat. It’s a Sphinx, dark-skinned and hairless, with huge ears and a wrinkled face. “You got me a cat?”

“You need more companionship in your life,” Magnus says. “And you seem the type that would get along with cats.”

Alec takes the scrawny little thing out of Magnus hands and nestles her down into the shirt. The cat is already wearing a collar and tags, which Alec lifts up to examine. “Mafdet? Really?” he says, and Magnus just smiles. The cat rubs her cheek against his fingers and Alec suppresses the urge to coo. “I guess you can stay.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

By the time Alec gets back to the Institute the next day, the cat is riding in the pouch like she lives there. Occasionally, she jumps up to ride on his shoulder, which is where she is while he’s studying their new mission instructions. A lot of people are trying not to laugh when they see this.

“The hell did that little gremlin come from?” Jace asks, frowning as he gets a look at it.

“She’s a cat, not a gremlin,” Alec says, and Mafdet hisses at him. “No,” Alec admonishes, without any real feeling.

“Where’d you get a cat?”

“Magnus gave her to me. You know, as an anniversary gift.”

Jace is frowning. “What kind of present is that? Aren’t you supposed to give someone something cute or romantic for an anniversary?”

Alec rolls his eyes. “Look, I’m not going to try to explain how Magnus thinks to you. Anyway, I like her, so, you know, whatever.”

“If you say so,” Jace says, looking up as Clary and Isabelle join them.

“Oh my God! Who is this?!” Clary coos, extending her hand. Mafdet graciously allows Clary to scratch behind her ears.

“Magnus gave him a cat for their anniversary,” Jace says.

“That is so cute!” Clary squeals, and Alec smirks at Jace. “Does she like to sit on your shoulder?”

“Yeah. She likes to be up high.”

“The better to judge people from,” Izzy says, and she and Clary both break out into giggles. “What’s her name?”

“Mafdet.”

“Ma-what?” Jace asks.

Izzy breaks down laughing. “You named your cat after the Egyptian goddess of justice and execution?”

“No, _Magnus_ named my cat after the Egyptian goddess of justice and execution.”

“Oh my God.” Jace rolls his eyes. “Just – will you two just get married already? Even I can see that you’re perfect for each other.”

Alec flushes pink. “Can we focus on the mission, please?”

“Whatever you say, bro.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

“So does that key I gave you not work or what?” Alec asks, and Magnus freezes where he’s sorting through his take-out menus. “Because it’s been two weeks and you still haven’t used it.”

“Yes, well.” Magnus clears his throat. “I didn’t want to cause trouble.”

“I don’t care if it causes trouble. If I’d cared, I wouldn’t have given it to you. I wanted you to have it, so you could come visit me whenever you wanted, without it being a big deal.” Alec frowns. “You’re being weird about this.”

Magnus winces. “I suppose I am. I know it shouldn’t be as big a deal as I’m making it out to be, but – ” He stops talking as Alec puts a finger over his mouth, the same way Magnus is always doing to him.

“This is amazing,” Alec says, with a wide smile. “ _You’re_ being the awkward, insecure turtle for once. I didn’t think that would ever happen.”

Magnus pouts.

“I love it,” Alec says, a little more quietly. “It’s a good look on you.” He leans in for a kiss. “So what’s the problem?”

“I have done my utmost, as I hope you’d agree, to respect you and your boundaries during this courtship,” Magnus says, gesturing between the two of them. “So I was taken off guard by the idea of just . . . going forth with whatever I wanted, without checking it with you. And afraid of pushing too far, doing something that couldn’t be undone. Afraid of ruining things.”

“That makes sense.” Alec shrugs. “But the key is me telling you that I’m ready for that. I’m ready for surprise visits, I’m ready for you to push me. I don’t have to have a bullet-pointed list of what’s going to happen on every date anymore. I’m ready for . . . maybe I’m ready to risk making some mistakes, because I know I could handle them now. That _we_ could handle them now.”

“I do like how that sounds,” Magnus says, and kisses him.

The next morning, he brings Alec breakfast in bed. Alec’s hair is a disaster and he’s drooling in his sleep. Magnus crawls into bed next to him and they stay there all morning.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

Magnus’ second surprise visit is going _extremely_ well when Alec suddenly stops moving just before he can get Magnus’ pants off. Magnus makes a plaintive, unhappy noise, looking up at Alec to see him with his head turned to the side. “What is it?”

“She’s watching us,” Alec whispers, and Magnus turns to see Mafdet perched on the bureau, staring at them.

“Oh, Lord help us,” Magnus says, and breaks down into helpless laughter. Alec joins him a minute later. “Put her outside.”

“So it’s not just me? We can’t just . . .” Alec waves a hand. “With her watching?”

“No, definitely not,” Magnus agrees. Alec gets off the bed, scoops the cat up in one hand, and dumps her outside. She yowls unhappily for at least a full minute while the two of them try to stop laughing. Finally, she huffs away to bother somebody else, and Magnus says, “Ah, where were we?”

“Right about here, I think?” Alec says, taking the zipper of Magnus’ pants between his teeth.

Magnus closes his eyes and twines his fingers through Alec’s hair. “If we weren’t before, we are now.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

“Hey, Mafdet, what are you doing wandering the halls?” Clary asks, scooping the cat up and cradling her in her arms. Mafdet purrs and rubs her face against Clary’s shoulder. “Let’s go take you back to Alec’s room, okay?”

“I wouldn’t,” Izzy says, smirking. Clary gives her a blank look. “Well, Magnus is here . . . so if Magnus and Alec are in Alec’s room and the cat _isn’t_ . . . I’m pretty sure they don’t want to be interrupted. Which is why the cat’s out here in the first place.”

“Oh . . . oh!” Clary giggles. “I bet she was judging them.”

“Totally,” Izzy says. “Watching from the dresser like, seven out of ten, guys, step up your game!”

Clary leans against the wall, practically crying from laughter. “Alec would kill you if he heard you grade him like that!”

“I’m not grading him, the cat is!”

“The cat’s grading who?” Jace asks, and blinks as the two women dissolve into further hysterics. He shakes his head. “Women.”

“Oh, Jace,” Izzy says, still giggling. “Could you take Mafdet back to Alec’s room? She got out.”

“Sure, fine, whatever.” Jace grumpily accepts the cat, who hisses, but only a little.

Clary looks at Izzy and goes into another gale of laughter. “You did _not_.”

“‘Women’, my ass,” Izzy says. “Someone needs to teach him some respect.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

“Oh my God, Jace, get out!” Alec shouts.

“I didn’t – I just – the cat! I’m bringing the – ”

“I am trying to do something here!” Alec yanks a pillow off the bed and throws it at him. The door hastily shuts.

Mafdet leaps back up onto the dresser and begins to studiously clean her paws.

Alec looks at the cat, then at Magnus. “And, we’re back where we started.”

Magnus tries not to laugh. “Have I introduced you to the joy that is shower sex yet? Because if not, this seems like it would be an excellent time.”

Alec’s eyes light up. “Let’s do it.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

After that, any time Mafdet was seen wandering the halls, everyone knew better than to go anywhere near Alec’s room.

 

~ ~ ~ ~


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hold me responsible for Alec's opinions on marriage, Pepsi, or reality TV.
> 
> Feel free to hold me responsible for writing sheer unadulterated sap and fluff. =D

“Why _don’t_ you and Magnus get married?” Clary asks in the middle of a sparring session.

“Keep your feet apart,” Alec replies.

Clary does as instructed, but doesn’t drop the subject. “I mean, you’re obviously committed to each other. You do know that gay marriage is legal now, right?” she adds. It wouldn’t surprise her if Alec didn’t, given the Shadowhunters’ lack of knowledge about mundane affairs.

Alec strikes, and Clary blocks. “Look, maybe you weren’t paying attention in the church that day, but Shadowhunter marriage is kind of a big deal. It’s not just a piece of paper that you get at City Hall.”

“Yeah, I saw. I also saw a lot of people that were happy for you, and would be happy to show up at whatever sort of ceremony you wanted. I’m sure that Magnus has friends that feel the same. He’s not a Shadowhunter. You could put something together from a different culture.” She blocks again, and the fight goes on for several seconds before she ends up on the floor. “Or don’t. I’m not trying to push you into anything. I just thought it might be something you guys would be happy to have.”

Alec rolls his eyes, but extends a hand to help her up anyway. “There weren’t ‘a lot’ of people at that wedding that were happy for me. Pretty much everyone there was just happy on behalf of my parents, for getting a good political partner for their son and salvaging their reputation. You know, at that point in time.”

Clary stops and thinks about it, thinking about to what had happened in the church. She has to grant that she was paying more attention to Magnus and Alec than she was to the attendees. “I guess I was just thinking of the people who looked happy when you and Magnus locked lips.”

“That was like three people. One of whom was you. Keep your guard up.”

Clary raises the staff. “Simon counts even if you don’t like him.”

“Simon thinking that me losing my chill in front of everyone is hilarious isn’t the same thing as him being happy for me.” Alec strikes forward, hard, and Clary blocks. There’s a moment of surprise on his face. “Good.”

“Yeah?” Clary can’t help but smile at the praise, as meager as it is.

“Yeah. Again.”

They spar back and forth for nearly another half hour before Alec calls a halt to the session and tells her to walk around to cool down. He watches her for a minute, then huffs out a sigh. “Look. Girls dream about their weddings, right? I'm sure you've got some image in your mind about this gorgeous church and a beautiful dress and, and the guy of your dreams or whatever girls think about. You've probably already picked out the colors and thought about the flowers and shit. Right?"

Clary holds up her hand and wobbles it back and forth. “A little. Admittedly. But . . . never mind. Go on.”

"So picture that times a hundred. Picture _everyone you know_ asking you questions about it for the last ten years. Picture something really important to you like, I don't know, your mother's happiness, resting on that _one day_ of your life being perfect. Still with me?"

“I’m trying to be,” Clary says, although it’s clearly difficult for her to picture her mother in such a role.

"So then you meet the guy you want to be on the altar with you. But he can't. He can't stand there. You can't wear the fancy dress, you can't have the pretty flowers. And any imitation you try to do would, would be just that. An imitation. A, a mockery of something that the world won't let you have because of who you fell in love with. Would you really want to do that?"

Clary sighs. “I hate your mother.”

“But it’s not just her, and you don’t _get_ that.” Alec takes a deep breath and visibly reins in his temper. “It’s everyone over there, or at least most people.”

“Maybe it’s the way I grew up, but I have trouble wrapping my head around how people can be so petty and mean about something that should be a non-issue. I mean, being gay is just who you are, it’s not a choice – ”

“But it’s not about that.” Alec picks up his staff and puts it away. “Okay, it’s a little about that. But that’s the part that’s mostly my mother. It’s not about Magnus being a man. It’s about Magnus being a Warlock. We’re part angel. They’re part demon. It’s just . . . it’s frowned upon in every way. Shadowhunters don’t fall in love with Downworlders. It’s right there in the name. They’re beneath us. It’s just something that’s not done.”

“Then show them that it is!” Clary says. “Wouldn’t that make more of a difference?”

Alec scrubs both hands through his hair. “You’re one of those people that goes into a restaurant and orders Coke, and then the waitress says ‘is Pepsi okay’ and you say fine instead of ‘no, Pepsi’s not okay, Pepsi is a garbage drink and I don’t know why anybody serves it’.”

Clary blinks. “. . . yes? What’s the right answer here?”

A reluctant smile tugs at the corner of Alec’s mouth. “My point is, I don’t – I don’t want the marriage equivalent of Pepsi. I want the real thing. If I can’t stand up on that altar and marry Magnus in the Shadowhunter ceremony, the way I would have with Lydia, I don’t want it. Because he _deserves_ that. I can’t give it to him, and I won’t give him anything less.”

“Okay. I get the metaphor now. And . . . I’m sorry. It’s not what I would do, I don’t think, but I can understand why you don’t want a substitute.”

Alec sighs and mutters, “Thanks.”

Clary blinks. “What?”

“Nothing. Go clean up. And don’t tell anyone I told you any of this.”

Clary salutes. “Yes, sir!”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

Three days later, they’ve just finished sweeping a neighborhood for a demon that had taken up residence there when Clary’s stomach growls. There’s a pizza shop right on the corner, so she and the Lightwood siblings troop in to get some food. The waitress comes over to get their drink order.

“Can I get a Coke?” Clary asks.

“Is Pepsi okay?” the waitress chirps.

Clary opens her mouth to say yes, looks at Alec, and rubs a hand over her face. “I’ll just have a water instead, thanks.”

“Pepsi is a garbage drink,” Alec agrees, nodding sagely.

Jace looks between them, frowning slightly. Izzy is laughing behind her hand; she might not understand the joke, but she’s glad to see Alec and Clary having _some_ sort of moment.

“I . . . beg your pardon?” the waitress says, blinking.

“It’s a metaphor,” Clary tells her.

“No, Pepsi really is a garbage drink,” Alec says.

“A metaphor for what?” the waitress asks, looking interested.

“Uh . . . civil unions instead of marriage, actually,” Clary says.

The waitress blinks. Then her eyes light up. “Oh! That’s clever! I’m going to remember that.”

“Can we please get our food now?” Alec asks, rubbing his thumb over the bridge of his nose. “I don’t want a Pepsi marriage, let’s move on.”

“You don’t want a . . .” Jace still looks lost.

“But gay marriage is legal now!” the waitress says cheerfully.

“Yeah, not in the country I’m from, and I really came here for lunch, not a social studies lesson.” Alec glares at Clary.

“I will have a Sierra Mist,” Izzy says, still laughing. Once the waitress has taken the rest of their order and departed, she turns to Alec, eyes sparkling. “A Pepsi marriage?”

Alec rolls his eyes. “It seemed like a good metaphor at the time.”

“It’s actually a great metaphor,” Clary says.

“Please stop helping me,” Alec mutters.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

“Ugh, why don’t you just get married already,” Jace says, when he walks into Alec’s room to find Magnus painting Alec’s nails.

“Because we can’t!” Alec shouts, so abrupt and angry that both of the other men are taken aback. “So if everyone could stop rubbing it in, that would be great. Thanks.” He pushes back from his desk and stalks out of the room.

“Shit,” Jace says, and then adds to Magnus, “Sorry.”

Magnus is a little startled as well. “Apology accepted, but I think Alec needs to hear one more than I do.”

“Yeah.” Jace slumps, but jogs after his brother. Alec has, unsurprisingly, headed for the training ring. He’s already beating the shit out of a punching bag when Jace gets there, and doesn’t look at him as he approaches. “Look, I’m sorry if it feels like I’m being a jerk. I just, you know, I’m trying to show that I think you two are a good couple. I maybe wasn’t the most supportive brother back at the beginning, so I want to support you now.”

Alec sighs and gives the bag one last punch that sends it spinning. “No, I overreacted. It’s not your fault.”

“I thought Clary said you _could_ get married, though,” Jace says, hoping that Alec won’t get pissed off again.

“Well, if I were a mundane, I could,” Alec leans against the wall. “I guess they passed laws recently about gay people being able to get married. But that’s not really the point, you know? It’s not like I can have the sort of marriage I would have had with Lydia. So what’s the point?”

Jace frowns, thinking this over. “I think the point is to pledge your commitment to someone.”

“I know that,” Alec grumps.

“I’m not sure you do, though. I mean, what’s the difference between a mundane wedding and what we do? It’s not like the marriage runes actually give you power. It’s just a symbol, the same way mundanes use rings. The only difference is that people in Idris won’t want to call you married, and to be honest, they’ll probably be that way regardless of what sort of wedding you have.”

Alec sighs. “You’re probably right. I don’t know. I just don’t want Magnus feeling like he’s not good enough.”

“And _not_ marrying him is the way to do that?” Jace sounds skeptical. “I mean, have you actually talked about this with him?”

“No,” Alec admits.

“Because . . .?”

Alec ducks his head, flushes pink, and mutters, “Because what if he doesn’t want to marry me?”

“Man, I really don’t think that’s something you need to worry about,” Jace says. “I mean, I might not _get_ the guy, but if there’s one thing I _do_ understand about him, it’s that he fucking adores you.”

“Yeah, but it’s not that simple. I’m mortal. He’s not. He’s going to stay the same while I grow old and die.”

“Okay, yeah, I know. That sucks. It really, hardcore sucks, for both of you. But what does it have to do with whether or not he’d want to marry you?”

“It just does,” Alec mumbles.

“Look.” Jace reaches out and squeezes his shoulder. “I get that asking someone to marry you is probably terrifying. And I know that the fact that everyone we know in Idris has their noses wedged so far up the next person’s ass that they can’t see how amazing Magnus is, that sucks.” He sees a little smile twitch at Alec’s lips. “But if you want to marry him, you should just tell him that. I mean, just see what he thinks, whether it’s mundane or Shadowhunter or maybe the warlocks have their own thing, I don’t know.”

“I’ll think about it,” Alec says.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

“But that’s the exact same stuff I said to him!” Clary is laughing despite herself. “Why do I get ‘Pepsi is a garbage drink’ and you get ‘I’ll think about it’? Alec still hates me, doesn’t he.”

“Trust me, Alec doesn’t hate you,” Jace says. “In fact, I think he’s actually coming around to tolerating you.”

“Wow. Such praise.”

“From Alec . . .” Jace says, and they both laugh again. “But anyway, keep in mind that I got ‘I’ll think about it’, not ‘you’re absolutely correct about everything’. I mean, from Alec, ‘I’ll think about it’ could just mean that he wanted the conversation to be over but didn’t want to admit it. It’s very possible that he still thinks Pepsi is a garbage drink and that we should mind our own business.”

“I guess we’ll have to wait and see, then,” Clary says.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

It’s late, and although neither of them would admit it to anyone, Magnus and Alec have spent the evening on the sofa, eating popcorn and watching reality TV. (Magnus has an obsession with America’s Top Model and Project Runway, for obvious reasons, and Alec has been enjoying Kitchen Nightmares more than he’s willing to acknowledge.)

What comes on next is ‘Say Yes to the Dress’, and Alec shifts a few times during the first ten minutes. Magnus glances at him but doesn’t comment on it. When the show is over and commercials are playing, Alec says, “So do warlocks ever get married?”

“Not as often as mundanes do,” Magnus says, feeling a few butterflies in his stomach at this question. “Mostly just because of the numbers game. There are few enough of us, and of course we’re rarely lucky enough to fall in love with each other. Sometimes we’ll marry another Downworlder or a Mundane, or even a Shadowhunter, once upon a time.”

Alec nods, not looking at him, his body radiating tension. “Do you guys . . . have your own marriage ceremonies? Like the Shadowhunters do?”

“There’s nothing universal. Warlocks have lived all around the world, of course, so I suppose most of them just adhere to whichever culture they feel closest to.”

“That makes sense.” Alec chews on his lower lip. “What about you?”

Magnus feels the butterflies tickling again. He’s wondering if Alec is actually going somewhere with this, or if it’s just a fact-finding mission. With Alec, either, or both, is possible. He tries to keep his answer blandly generic, avoiding words like bride or groom. “I confess I haven’t thought about it much. I wouldn’t be picky. Not about the ceremony, at least, although I have to admit I _would_ have strong ideas about what the participants would wear.”

“I bet.” Alec grins despite himself.

“And the honeymoon. I would have a lot of opinions about that. How long it should be, how much clothing should be worn during it – none, of course.”

“Of course,” Alec echoes, and now he’s laughing quietly. “I was, uh, reading about it. You know, there was only one other Shadowhunter who married a warlock. They put the marriage runes on a bracelet.”

“Seems like a reasonable compromise,” Magnus says.

“It’s just, you know, if I was going to get married, it would be important to me to do it right.” Alec chews on his lower lip, studying the television so he doesn’t have to look at Magnus. “All the, I don’t want to say, bells and whistles, but . . . the important stuff. That I grew up with. That would be important to me. Because to do anything less would mean that it meant less. It wouldn’t be fair.”

“I can see why you would feel that way,” Magnus says, curling his hand around Alec’s forearm. “That’s the culture you were brought up in.”

“Yeah.” Alec sounds relieved. “I mean, I just, I don’t want to – ”

Magnus lays his finger across Alec’s lips. “You don’t need to explain, Alexander. I understand.”

Alec smiles. He grabs Magnus’ hand and presses a kiss against his palm. “You wanna watch Storage Wars?”

“Absolutely,” Magnus says, and picks up the remote control.

 

~ ~ ~ ~


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ficlet is a little on the short side, but you can consider it something of a prologue for what's going to come next .... because somehow this fic got serious on me. =D

 

Magnus is in the kitchen of the Institute when Maryse walks in. She seems him, does a double take, and then demands, “What are you doing here?”

“Making tea,” Magnus says. “Would you like some?”

“You are not to be wandering the halls unsupervised - ”

Magnus rolls his eyes. “I’m not a dog, Maryse. I don’t require a leash, although admittedly I would wear a collar if your son asked me to. Was that a ‘no’ on the tea? Because honestly, I told Alec I would be right back - ”

“What is that you’re wearing?” Maryse has caught sight of the pendant with the entry rune carved into it.

Magnus looks up and down himself like he’s not sure. “Well, this jacket is a lovely design that I got in Spain, dates all the way back to the 1500s. The shoes, a quality item - ”

“I wasn’t asking for a catalog,” Maryse says through gritted teeth. “The necklace. That rune.”

“This? Ah, yes. It’s a key to your Institute, of course. Alec gave it to me as a gift on our six-month anniversary. You should be proud of him; you’ve raised quite a thoughtful, generous man.”

“He can’t give things like that to people like you!”

“All evidence to the contrary, my dear. He even checked it over with Miss Branwell before he did it. Something about me being a valuable ally, how me being able to get into the Institute might even save lives one day. Besides, it’s not really a security risk when any one of half a dozen people would let me in any time I asked, am I right?”

Maryse looks like she’s about to explode. “If only I could convince those people of what you really are.”

“Oh, don’t worry, darling. They already know I’m fabulous.”

Maryse takes a deep breath and appears to fight with her temper. “All right. Let me put this as plainly as I can. What can I give you to make you drop this? Leave my son alone, disappear from his life.”

Magnus arches an eyebrow at her. “Let me answer your question with a question,” he replies, and Maryse’s lips thin. “Why is it so difficult for you to believe that I actually care about your son, and that I want to have a relationship with him?”

“I do believe you care for Alec . . . on some level,” Maryse adds, and Magnus rolls his eyes despite his best efforts. “But that doesn’t change the fact that I want you out of his life. You know as well as I do that he’s only going to be around for a fraction of your life. A handful of decades. He’s going to be gone from your life in the blink of an eye for you, so why not lose him now and at least get something out of it?”

“Maryse, darling, your misunderstanding of the situation runs so deeply that I cannot begin to fathom where to start responding to that.”

Maryse’s mouth tightens even further. “You seem to like to charge for your services. I’m trying to speak to you in a language that you understand. Everybody has a price.”

“Very well, then. You want my price? Cut your heart out and serve it to me on a silver platter.”

“Excuse me, warlock - ”

“I will not excuse you. You are inexcusable. I want your heart, Maryse. That's what you seem to be determined to take from your son. Maybe then, if you'll give up yours, I'll believe you actually have his best interests in mind, rather than your own."

Maryse regards him in silence for a long minute before she says, “You’re a monster.”

“It takes one to know one, darling.”

“Have you thought about what this will do to him? What it will be like for him to watch you stay young and pretty while he grows old? For him to see you lose interest when he’s - ”

“Stop right there,” Magnus says, holding up a hand. Maryse doesn’t stop, but he talks over her. “You might not know what love is, Maryse, but I do. Maybe you’ve never loved anyone besides yourself in your entire life. God knows I would believe that. But since you don’t understand what love is, I can’t possibly explain to you how both Alec and I have come to terms with the difference between us. So let me ask you this, Maryse - what can I give _you_ to make you drop this? For you to disappear from your son’s life.”

“I will do no such thing!”

“You said everybody has a price. I’m merely inquiring after yours.”

“Maybe I should ask for your heart,” Maryse says with a sneer.

“To be honest, Maryse, if it would make you leave your son alone to be happy, I would give you my heart. Alas, it’s already spoken for, and I don’t think Alec would be as eager to give it up.”

“It’s not fair of you to make him choose between us.”

Magnus is so taken aback that he actually shakes his head a little, then tilts it to one side and gives it a tap as if he’s got water in his ears. “I’m so sorry. I must have heard wrong, because I can’t for an instant believe that _you_ are accusing _me_ of making your son choose between us. Nothing would make me happier than if Alexander had the support and love of his entire family. You, my dear, are the one forcing the choice. You’re the one saying he can’t have both. Not me.”

“If you really cared for him, you would understand why he can’t.”

“Oh, I do understand. I understand he can’t have both because you’re a small-minded bigot who thinks Downworlders should be exterminated. Don’t forget, Maryse. I know why you left the Circle, and it certainly wasn’t because you thought Valentine was wrong.”

Maryse’s jaw squares. “Don’t you dare.”

“How oblivious do you think we Downworlders are to what happened back then? I know that the only reason you left the Circle was to protect your own skin. You saw that you were outnumbered and outclassed, and you switched to the winning side. How many of us did you kill, Maryse? How many warlocks did you murder in cold blood before Valentine’s luck ran out?”

“Not enough,” Maryse hisses.

“Clearly. And then you spent the next eighteen years trying to salvage the honor of your family name, and when you couldn’t, you told Alec he was responsible for doing it himself. But Alec can’t save what was never there to begin with, Maryse, and I think he’s finally figuring that out.”

“Is this where you threaten to tell him about my reasons for leaving the Circle, if I don’t do what you want?”

Magnus laughs. “No. He already knows. I’ve never said a word to him about it, but you have, quite loudly and clearly, every time you see me. Alec knows that you never really left the Circle, Maryse. And I can’t do anything to change that.”

“If I didn’t before, I certainly do now,” Alec says, as he walks around the corner. Magnus arches an eyebrow at him, unsurprised by his entrance but wondering how long he’s been there. Maryse is sputtering. “But no, Magnus is right. I’ve known for a while now. I told you before, Mother. I can’t fix what you did to the family name. But I can give it meaning again. I can restore the Lightwood name to something that means justice and fairness - to _everyone_ , not just Shadowhunters. And I don’t care if you like that or not.”

“You don’t know what you’re doing,” Maryse tells him. “You’re protecting demons.”

“I know that I can name a dozen Downworlders who are more human than half the Shadowhunters I’ve ever known. I’ve learned a lot over the past year about justice, about family, about doing what’s right. If you don’t like it, fine. Disown me. Tell everyone you only have one son. I’ll take a new name. I’ll build a new reputation. I don’t need you or your name and the shit you tarnished it with. You do what you feel you have to do. And so will I.”

Alec takes Magnus by the hand and heads back down the hallway, while his mother snaps angrily, “Don’t walk away from me!”

Neither of them speak again until they’re back in Alec’s room, when Magnus asks curiously, “How long were you listening?”

“A while. I decided we should get some food, too, so I figured I would come find you. I heard her lay into you about the key and decided not to say anything. I know you’ve been itching to give her a piece of your mind and you would’ve held back if you knew I was there.”

“True,” Magnus says. “Well, you made quite an entrance at the end.”

“Besides, I like . . .” Alec blushes slightly and ducks his head. “I like hearing what you say about me when you think I’m not around. It’s kind of, you know, reassuring.”

Magnus leans up and presses a kiss against Alec’s mouth. He’s about to say something clever when he feels the press of Alec’s hips against his own, the hardness there. “You really did enjoy listening.”

“That’s weird, huh?” Alec asks, flushing even more pink. “I got really turned on listening to you verbally kick the shit out of her.”

“That’s not weird at all,” Magnus assures him. “Every time you stand up to her, I want to tear all your clothes off.”

“Maybe try just taking them off without tearing them.”

Magnus smirks. “It would be my genuine pleasure.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I'm just moseying along, writing some fluff and hurt/comfort, when suddenly a plot bunny ambushed me with a FEELS attack that somehow led to this
> 
> *ahem* by which I mean, I'm super mean to Alec and Magnus and I'm only a little bit sorry
> 
> and this section got suuuuuuuper long so I divided it up, so unlike the other chapters, the chapters won't be self-contained, stand-on-their-own for a little while (3 or 4 of them maybe, I'm not sure yet)
> 
> (one last thing: I'm not sure why tracking down your parabatai causes pain to both parties, that seems weird to me? and if there was a technical explanation, I missed it? But Jace being able to find Alec really easily would ruin my angst here, so uh, I just kind of breezed past it. Um. That part I am sorry about. XD)

 

Unlike when Magnus was abducted by the Circle, Alec’s disappearance is immediately noticed and cause for concern. He had been on a mission and should have been back at the Institute in less than an hour. But he never made it there. When he isn’t back in two, Izzy called him. The call goes straight to voicemail.

Concerned, she calls Magnus, since Alec might have decided to go to his place but not thought to mention it. Magnus hasn’t seen him since the day before. He says he’ll head right over to the Institute, but stops to do a tracking spell first. He has one of Alec’s shirts, which isn’t optimal but will work well enough. He doesn’t want to wait. The more time Alec is gone, the more time someone could use magic to hide him. But apparently, it’s already too late. The blue flames which should lead him to Alec dance on his fingers and then sputter out.

By the time he gets to the Institute, Izzy is reviewing camera footage, chewing on her lower lip while Clary hovers over her shoulder. The confrontation with the demon had been in an alley, and there hadn’t been any cameras there. But she had picked him up a block away on a traffic cam, and was trying to follow his route. “There,” she says, pointing to one of the screens. Alec is standing on a street corner. The footage is a little grainy, but they can see him take out his phone and put it to his ear. His mouth moves for a few moments before he tucks his phone away and jogs down the street.

“So he got a call from somebody,” Jace says, frowning at the screen. “But who? Alec’s not exactly a social flower. The only people who might call him are here.”

Izzy’s already talking to one of the technicians, who nods. “He’s going to pull up the records and see where the phone call came from.”

It takes a few minutes, while they keep searching through the footage to see if they can figure out where Alec went next. Magnus is starting to feel dull unease in the pit of his stomach. Alec can take care of himself, certainly – but then again, so can Magnus. And he had still gotten abducted and tortured.

“God damn it,” Jace says suddenly, and Magnus’ eyes jerk over to the screen to see Alec getting into a taxi. “Why the hell would he take a taxi?”

“Because he was going somewhere too far away to get to on foot, presumably,” Clary says.

“Okay, yeah, but where? Alec doesn’t _go places_.”

Magnus is hard pressed to argue, really. He’s more worried about the fact that Alec hadn’t called anyone to say where he was going. It leads him to one gut-twisting conclusion.

“The other call came from an unlisted cell phone,” Izzy says grimly. “There’s no way to know who was on the other end.”

“I suspect,” Magnus says, “that it was one of us.”

Both Izzy and Jace blink at him. Izzy gets it first, and grimaces. Jace still looks puzzled. “What?”

“Someone using a glamour to imitate one of our voices,” Magnus clarifies. “Or perhaps a more mundane, technical contrivance. I can’t think of any other reason Alec would respond to a call by getting into a cab and not notifying any of the three of us where he was going. Whoever it was probably pretended to be in trouble and need immediate assistance, leading him to rush off into the night into a trap.”

“Wouldn’t Alec see that trap coming, though?” Jace asks. “I mean, Alec’s always about the rules and the law – no way would he rush into a situation like that without reporting in.”

“I think it’s more likely that whoever did this pretended to be one of you,” Magnus says, “and perhaps even said they were calling from here, leaving on a mission and he was to meet them. Then he wouldn’t call in. And if he didn’t think it was anything particularly dangerous or out-of-the-ordinary, he would have had no reason to call me.”

“God,” Izzy says. “He’s right. Think about it, Jace – if you were in the field, and Alec called you and said, oh, I don’t know – Clary had gone missing – and he needed you to meet him at her loft – you’d go right there without stopping to check in with anybody. It wouldn’t occur to you that you needed to.”

Jace rakes both hands through his hair. “So how do we find out where he went?”

“Can we get any more information from his phone?” Clary asks. “I know on all the cop shows they can trace it.”

The technician looks up. “All I can do is triangulate from the last call he took – which we already know about. His phone isn’t GPS enabled, so I can’t track him after that.”

“The best thing to do would be to try to track the taxi and see where it let him off,” Magnus says, “but I’m not sure how we would do that . . .”

“I’ll call Luke,” Clary says. “I’m sure he can help us.”

Magnus looks at Jace. “I assume you’ve tried to track him.”

“Yeah. Of course. That was the first thing I did, but I got nothing. You?”

Magnus nods. “Same. What about tracking him through your parabatai bond?”

Jace grimaces. “Last time we tried that, he nearly got me killed. Plus, I’m afraid it’ll weaken the bond, weaken him. Wherever he is, we don’t want him weak.”

“Very well.” Magnus decides right then and there that he’ll never understand the point of a parabatai bond anyway. “You focus on the taxi. I’ll go to where it picked him up and see if I can track him from there. Odds aren’t good, since my first tracking spell failed, but it’s worth a try.”

“I’ll go with you,” Izzy says, and Magnus nods.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

When Alec wakes up, the last thing he remembers is departing the Institute for the mission. He jerks to consciousness quickly and does a quick survey of his surroundings. He’s in a small room that’s entirely metal. There are a few pipes along the ceiling, and no windows except for one in the door that just looks out into a metal hallway.

A ship, he realizes immediately. That makes sense. Hold him over water, and it’ll mess up magical tracking. He’s on a ship that’s probably docked somewhere along the bay or the river. It could be moving, but he doubts it. There’s a gentle rocking, but not the sort of movement he would expect if the ship was actually in use.

That being settled, he checks himself. He’s still wearing the same black pants and shirt that he had left the Institute in, but his jacket, shoes, and socks are gone. So are all his weapons, even the mundane knife that he carries in his boot. His phone and his watch are also among the missing. He doesn’t seem to have any injuries. Nothing hurts, although the metal floor against his bare feet is starting to feel uncomfortably cold. He’s not overly hungry, doesn’t need to use the bathroom, so he hasn’t been unconscious long. A few hours at most.

He tries the door. It’s locked. He runs his fingers along all the walls, looking for any weak points, and openings, but the ship is solidly constructed. There’s a vent high up on the wall opposite the door, but even if he could reach it, it’s too small for him to get through. He knocks on the window of the door and shouts, “Hello?” but there’s no response.

Minutes tick by. He sits down lotus-style so he can pull his feet up off the floor before they freeze. He has to wait, has to be patient. He knows that his absence will be noticed immediately. Water or no water, the others will find him.

As much as an hour has gone by before he hears footsteps in the hall. He’s on his feet immediately and places himself where he’ll be hidden by the door as it opens. It does bare moments later, and Valentine Morgenstern walks in. Alec comes out from behind the door swinging, hooking one leg behind Valentine’s knee to pull him to the floor. Escape is his primary goal. He can’t beat Valentine, not without weapons, and he knows it.

He makes it to the hallway before a rush of magic knocks him forward, into the opposite wall. He reels dizzily, both hands automatically going up to his bleeding nose.

“Nice try,” Valentine says, tossing him back into the cell. “I’ve heard about you, Mr. Lightwood. But don’t think you’ll be getting the better of me so easily.”

Alec gets up, keeping his posture loose, on the balls of his feet. “Whatever it is you want, you won’t get anything from me.”

“Oh, it’s not you that I want,” Valentine says, “but at least you’ll keep me entertained for a while. I’ve heard you have a weakness for Downworlders. Let’s see if we can cure you of that little . . . affliction.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

Alec’s disappearance stretches into hours, and gradually into days. There’s no sign of him; he’s simply vanished. Magnus’ magic can’t detect any trace of him. Luke manages to track down which taxi he was in, but the driver says he dropped him off just outside Central Park. Nobody there seems to have seen him, and he doesn’t appear on any of the cameras.

“People don’t just disappear!” Clary says, as Alec’s absence stretches into day two. “There has to be some way to track him.”

Magnus goes with the old adage: when you want to find someone, look. The most likely place for Alec to be is somewhere near water. That would interfere with both his tracking magic and the Shadowhunters’, although not the parabatai bond. But there’s so much water. New York City is filled with docks and bridges and ferries. He could look a dozen years and never find anyone that way. But it has to be worth a try. He walks along the edge of the water with the Institute key Alec had given him clutched in one hand, searching for any trace of him, the slightest flicker of a response. Sometimes Clary and Izzy accompany him, sometimes he goes alone. Clary has drawn pictures of both Alec and Valentine, and they show them to all the dockworkers and food stands and homeless people. All to no avail.

The only benefit is that it keeps him out of the Institute and therefore away from Maryse. She arrived the second day that Alec was missing and began issuing orders. Lydia lets her take control of the situation. She’s not happy about it, but Alec is Maryse’s son, and nobody wants to tell her that she can’t be involved in the search.

Of course, Maryse was quick to try to lay blame at Magnus’ feet, even going so far as to ask if anyone had ‘checked the loft’ because it was possible that Alec was there and that Magnus was hiding him. “Why would he do that?” Izzy asked, exasperated.

“Do I know how Downworlders think?” Maryse asks her daughter in an arch tone. “For all we know, he killed him and hid the body – ”

Magnus looked at Izzy and said, “If you need me, I’ll be in Long Island City,” and left without a word. He wasn’t going to stand there and listen to Maryse when he could be looking for Alec.

Izzy texts him several hours later to let him know that she and Clary have gone to his loft and found it, not surprisingly, devoid of Alec. Magnus appreciates the update, but doesn’t bother to dignify it with a response. He gets coffee at a shop by the river, shows Alec and Valentine’s pictures, and walks until dawn.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

For a while, all Alec is aware of is pain. Much of the torture is traditional, inflicted with wires or chains or tubs of cold water. Some of it seems magical, caused by the drugs that Valentine had been cooking up in his labs. Sometimes it’s both.

Valentine is a professional. It’s never so much that Alec passes out. He’s allowed brief breaks, made all the worse because he never knows how long they’ll be, how much relief he’ll be given. He’s given food and water at semi-regular intervals, and his injuries are always taken care of.

It’s the cold that persists, always, through everything else. When he’s dunked underwater, he’s never dried off afterwards, and he lays in his cell, shivering so hard that he pulls muscles. Once he finds frost forming in his damp hair. The cold keeps him awake, along with the constant noise, the thrumming and clanging of the ship’s engine. It gets to the point where he would give almost anything just to sleep.

Late one night, while he’s lying on the floor huddled up in his wet clothing, the door opens and Magnus rushes in. “Alexander,” he says, and Alec jerks to attention. He manages to untangle himself, trying to get into a sitting position. There’s a shadow behind Magnus, and Alec starts to cry out, to warn him, but it’s too late. The Angelic blade comes through Magnus’ back and out his chest, and a rush of blood splashes onto Alec as he’s still struggling to stand.

“No!” Alec cries out, as Magnus’ body falls forward. He moves to catch him, as if that would help, but Magnus’ body disappears before it hits the floor. Alec is left staring, confused and crying, his arms still outstretched for his lover.

Then the pain hits. It’s enormous, almost a physical thing, and it wracks his entire body. He ends up the floor, body contracting and twisting as he tries to escape from it. He screams until his throat is raw. When it’s over, he doesn’t know whether he imagined Magnus’ entrance or death or even the pain itself. Not until it happens again, barely an hour later. It’s different this time. Alec tries to go to him, but Magnus stops still in the doorway, suddenly fragmenting into a thousand pieces in a shower of black dust. And then the pain comes again.

When Magnus arrives for the ninth time, Alec cringes away, pressing himself into the wall at the back of his cell.

The warlock – or at least the image of him – turns and walks away without a word.

Someone comes in and gives Alec a blanket. For the first time in days, he’s allowed to sleep.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

Without a where, they focus on the who. It seems obvious that it has something to do with Valentine. But if finding Valentine Morgenstern were easy, they would have done it a long time ago.

“Do you think it’s weird that he hasn’t contacted us?” Jace asks. “I mean, if he wants the Cup for Alec – ”

“Nobody will be giving Valentine the Mortal Cup,” Maryse snaps, and Jace looks away. “Not for my son, not for anyone.”

“Nobody said we would be,” Lydia says, with a hint of impatience in her tone. “But that doesn’t change the fact that Jace is right. If Valentine was holding Alec for any sort of ransom, the Cup or Clary, et cetera, then he should have contacted us by now.”

“We don’t know that this has anything to do with Valentine,” Maryse says. “I’m sure the warlock has his share of enemies.”

“Only one who’s yet living,” Magnus murmurs, his gaze resting on Maryse to make it clear who he considers that enemy to be.

“That doesn’t change Jace’s point, though,” Izzy says. “Even if it’s not Valentine, whoever’s holding Alec clearly isn’t doing it for ransom. There’s something else going on here.”

Maryse scowls. “Well, perhaps we’re overthinking it. We can’t be one hundred percent sure that he was abducted at all. He could have left of his own volition.”

The others look at each other, too puzzled to even be offended. “I don’t follow,” Lydia finally says.

“Things in his life aren’t exactly going smoothly at the moment,” Maryse says. “He knows that he’s in danger of being removed from the Institute – ”

“Because of you,” Izzy points out.

Maryse ignores her. “ – and God knows that I can’t speak to what would happen if he finally realized what a disastrous relationship he’s in – ”

Magnus pinches the bridge of his nose and considers another walk along the docks.

“ – so maybe he just decided to run away from his problems.”

“Are we talking about the same Alexander Lightwood?” Lydia is the only one who can muster up the energy to challenge Maryse. “I might not know him as well as the rest of you, but ‘running from his problems’ seems like the last thing I would expect him to do.”

“It’s a possibility we haven’t explored yet.”

“Then go explore it,” Jace says, his tone abrupt and angry. “Meanwhile, the rest of us will keep trying to find him, because he’s _obviously_ in trouble.”

Maryse turns and walks away, her heels clicking against the tile. Then she turns back and walks up to Magnus, invading his personal space. “If I find out that you had anything to do with my son’s disappearance, willing or unwilling, then I will personally end your miserable life.”

Magnus face is blank as she storms off. “Likewise, my dear,” he murmurs under his breath. “Likewise.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

Alec has seen Magnus die twenty-seven times.

It happens whenever he thinks he’s gotten away from it, whenever he thinks he’s safe. Whenever Magnus shows up, Alec reaches for him. He can’t help it. Of the thirty times he’s arrived in Alec’s cell, Alec has tried to go to him twenty-seven times. Only when he resists is Magnus allowed to depart unharmed. Only when he cringes away is he given rest and comfort.

_I love you, Alexander_ , Magnus says in his dreams, and the world washes red.

 

~ ~ ~ ~


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, lovelies, I couldn't leave you on that cliffhanger too long. =D
> 
> A quick note that there will be some stuff involving lack of agency, which I know can be very triggery for people even if it's not sexual at all. I don't want to spoil anything so I put more details in the end notes if anyone wants to check them out ahead of time. <3 <3 <3

 

Alec has been missing for eleven days and Magnus is halfway through his third mug of coffee since getting up an hour previous when Maryse charges into the Institute. He’s so exhausted that he can barely even care. He certainly makes no effort to get in her way. She doesn’t look at him, either, sweeping past him and cornering Izzy and Jace.

It’s clear that she doesn’t want him involved, so he can’t help but snap his fingers and listen in. “ – think I know where he’s being held.”

“Mom, how?” Izzy asks, her jaw ajar.

Maryse lets out a breath. “You won’t like the answer. But you know that I still have contacts among people who are . . . sympathetic. To the Circle’s cause. So I’ve been talking to them, trying to convince them that I can be trusted. I have a lead. Valentine’s been seen on the docks in Newark. I think he has a boat there that he might be keeping Alec on.”

“Well, let’s go,” Jace says.

Magnus walks over. “By all means.”

Maryse’s mouth purses. “You are not invited, warlock.”

“Mother, he could be hurt, he could need – ”

“Listen to me,” Maryse says, staring Magnus down. “If you step one foot onto the Newark docks, I will personally make sure that you never see my son again. Is that clear?”

After a moment, Magnus nods. It’s not because he agrees, but rescuing Alec takes precedence, and he doesn’t want to waste time arguing with Maryse. The three Shadowhunters are an adequate rescue force, and the sooner Alec is found, the better. “Allow me to portal you to somewhere close to save time – Port Elizabeth, perhaps? And I’ll agree to stay here.”

Maryse still doesn’t look happy, but she agrees. Magnus turns and draws the portal. Izzy gives his forearm a quick squeeze before she steps through, and Magnus settles in to wait.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

It’s late enough that the docks in Newark are empty. Izzy quickly spots half a dozen ships that could have Alec on them, and that’s presuming the ship is docked at all. She wishes that her mother had allowed Magnus to accompany them, but she understands why Magnus didn’t push the issue. Jace is already drawing a tracking rune on his hand. This close by, the water might not interfere.

“Unnnnh,” Jace groans. “I’m not sure. One of those two, I think. It’s hard – ”

“We’ll split up,” Maryse says, her tone clipped and rapid. “I’ll take the smaller one. You two head to that one over there.”

Izzy nods. Jace draws his blade. The two of them take off running.

The ship is large and empty. Their feet clang on the metal, but nobody appears to demand to know what they’re doing. Izzy’s never been on a ship before, and she’s discomfited to find out how many nooks and crannies they have. It’s going to take what feels like an hour to search the whole thing –

“Izzy, in here!” Jace shouts, and Izzy bolts into the storage area where Jace is. There’s a table there with syringes and other equipment on it. She sees a car battery and clamps, pliers, other instruments she doesn’t recognize. Her stomach rolls. Jace is already on the phone with Maryse. “This one,” he says, without preamble, and then hangs up. “Come on, he’s got to be here somewhere.”

They open door after door, and something like a small eternity has gone by before Izzy finds one that’s locked. She grabs her stele and writes the open rune on it, and the door swings open.

Alec is huddled at the back of the cell, naked and shivering. Izzy drops her stele and her blade and goes to her knees at his side, shouting for Jace. Alec’s body is curled up so tightly that she can’t even see his face, and he doesn’t look up as she approaches. He’s mumbling something under his breath, and she leans in close to hear him just saying ‘please’ over and over again.

“Alec, sweetheart!” Maryse gasps out as she runs into the room. “Oh, my poor boy, my poor baby – ”

“M-M-M,” Alec tries to say. Jace approaches, yanking off his jacket and tucking it around Alec’s shoulders.

Izzy’s jaw tightens as she hears a noise outside. It seems like such a trap. Alec here, unguarded, on an empty ship. If Maryse’s ‘contacts’ in the Circle had warned Valentine that she was asking questions –

Jace is apparently having the same thought. “We need to go.”

“Gee, it sure would be nice if we had a warlock to portal us out of here,” Izzy mutters, as Jace and Maryse get Alec on his feet. He’s too weak to stand on his own, still hasn’t said anything to indicate that he even really knows they’re there. But the hallway is empty, not clogged with Forsaken or Circle members. Once they’re back out onto the docks, Izzy grabs her phone to call Magnus. He picks up sounding tight and anxious. “Hey, we’ve got him. Can you open the portal in like . . .” She does quick calculations, watching the way Alec is stumbling along, barely able to keep on his feet. “Two minutes?”

Three minutes later, they’re back at the Institute. Magnus snaps the portal shut behind them and wheels around to look at Alec.

“Get away from me!” Alec reels back, nearly overbalancing Jace. Magnus pulls away, abrupt and shocked. Some coherency starts to seep back into Alec’s eyes as he looks around wildly. “I – I can’t – you aren’t – ”

“It’s all right, it’s all right,” Maryse says, her tone soothing. “We need to get you to the healers – Jace, help me take him – ”

“They’re already here, I called them,” Lydia says, rushing in from the other room. “This way, they’re waiting – ”

Alec is whisked away, and Izzy and Magnus are left standing by themselves, both of them a little too shocked to say or do much.

“Is he all right?” Magnus finally asks.

Izzy swallows hard. “I don’t know.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

The healers’ report is reassuring. Severe hypothermia, prolonged dehydration, and sleep deprivation are the main problems. Once Alec gets some sleep, he should feel better. They’ve checked him over for new runes and there are none, so whatever Valentine did to him, there’s no permanent magic involved.

Other Shadowhunters, along with a handful of Luke’s wolves, have gone to do a more thorough check of the ship. There’s no sign of Valentine, but it’s obvious that he was there; it’s set up much like his base at Chernobyl had been. Whatever his purpose in holding Alec had been, he seems to have abandoned it.

Magnus paces the hallways, waiting for Alec to wake. He keeps thinking back to the look of fear on Alec’s face when he had approached. It’s all he can think about.

Izzy and Jace are with their brother, so Clary often keeps Magnus company as he walks around. They don’t talk very much. Clary doesn’t want to think about the man who fathered her hurting Alec or Magnus in such a terrible way.

Nearly twelve hours have gone by since Alec’s return to the Institute when Izzy finds them. She’s pale and clearly exhausted, but she gives Magnus a reassuring smile. “He’s awake, and asking for you.” The smile fades. “Mom doesn’t want you to come, of course, but Alec’s insisting on seeing you and she backed down. She seems honestly worried about him. He’s not . . . making a lot of sense. I think Valentine was using glamours to . . . to make him think you were dead. He keeps saying he has to see you, to make sure you’re all right.”

Magnus is halfway down the hall before Izzy has finished talking. “Is Maryse going to make trouble?”

“Not unless you push your luck.” Izzy takes a deep breath. “Just go in, reassure Alec that you’re fine, and then . . . I don’t know. You have every right to stay with him, to want to be with him. We don’t have any right to tell you to leave if Alec wants you there. But he just . . . he seems so fragile right now. I’m afraid a confrontation will just upset him.”

Magnus nods. He doesn’t want to upset Alec, although he’d be quite happy to upset Maryse. He gives Alec’s door a brief knock before going inside. Maryse is sitting next to his bed, holding Alec’s hand. Her mouth tightens when she sees Magnus enter, but she doesn’t argue. Alec’s gaze snaps up to Magnus, and his expression flickers between profound relief and agonizing fear. “Hello, Alexander,” Magnus says, keeping his voice smooth and calm. “Here I am, whole and in the flesh as requested.”

“I can’t . . .” Alec swallows hard. “Every time I go to you, you . . .”

“Well, I’ll stay over here, then,” Magnus says. “Nothing to worry about. How are you feeling?”

Alec lets out a breath. “Tired. Confused.”

“He doesn’t remember very much,” Maryse says. “Only patches here and there.”

“I remember watching you die.” Alec’s throat works. “Over and over again.”

“But as you can see, I’m safe and sound,” Magnus reassures him. “Why don’t you get some rest, all right? You look exhausted. You’ll feel better, once you get some more sleep.”

Alec hesitates. His gaze flickers to his mother, and she squeezes his hand, murmurs soothingly to him. Magnus’ heart aches. He wants to stay with Alec, but it’s clear that Alec is confused, hurting, and needs his mother. No matter what else Maryse has done, if Alec wants his mother’s comfort right now, Magnus feels like he should have it.

After a minute, Alec nods. “Don’t go far?”

“I’ll be right outside,” Magnus promises. Alec nods, and his eyes slide closed. Magnus doesn’t wait to hear Maryse’s opinion before he leaves the room.

Izzy and Clary are both waiting for him. “You should get some rest,” Clary says immediately. “I know you weren’t sleeping much while he was gone.”

Magnus wants to argue. He wants to scream and shout and throw a temper tantrum like a child. He has to take several deep breaths before he manages to say, “Yes. That is a good idea. Izzy, do you mind if I borrow your room, since I assume you’ll be staying here?”

“Sure,” Izzy says. “And I’ll make sure mom doesn’t . . . upset him.”

She doesn’t bother to elaborate, but Magnus knows what she means. Izzy will make sure Maryse doesn’t tell Alec that Magnus wasn’t helping look for him, that Magnus didn’t care that he was gone, that Magnus has already left. Magnus allows himself to lean on Clary, who steers him into Izzy’s room and then onto her bed. “Get some sleep,” she says softly, but Magnus has already passed out.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

Magnus sleeps for twelve solid hours and wakes up ravenous. He heads down to the kitchen to eat everything he can find. A couple people give him uneasy looks, but he suspects that’s because they know Maryse doesn’t like him being there.

Lydia is in the kitchen, making herself a mug of coffee, and she greets Magnus with her usual brisk-but-not-unfriendly professionalism. “Unfortunately we didn’t find anything useful on the boat,” she tells him, “so we don’t have any new leads on Valentine. But why do you think he went after Alec?”

“I’m not sure,” Magnus admits. There are a lot of things that have happened that he doesn’t like, and the fact that Valentine had abandoned this new base of operations without trying to keep Alec is definitely one of them. “He could have been after information, of course. But Valentine must have realized months ago that we turned the Cup over to the Clave. Which means there’s nothing Alec would know that Valentine needed.”

“Do you think it had something to do with Alec’s relationship with you?” Lydia’s voice is calm, not judgmental, just a request for information.

“It’s possible, but I doubt it. If Valentine wanted me, he would go after the people under my protection.”

Lydia stirs her coffee and regards him thoughtfully. “You sound like you’re speaking from experience.”

“I am.”

“All right.” Lydia considers for a minute. “There’s another option, one which I’d prefer you not discuss with anyone else. This could be related to Maryse Lightwood’s connections to the Circle.”

“It had occurred to me.” Magnus finds half a pizza in the refrigerator and starts eating it cold. “Valentine doesn’t care about allies. If anyone from the old days wants to rejoin him, I imagine they’re welcome to do so, but he won’t seek them out. Especially not somebody like Maryse, who abandoned ship when the going got tough.”

“Even if that person had connections to the Clave that might help him locate the Mortal Cup?”

“And to gain her trust, he tortures her son?” Magnus feels a little dubious, but then, he actually _can_ picture Maryse asking Valentine to help her drive a wedge between Alec and Magnus.

Lydia is clearly on the same train of thought. “Maybe. Or maybe he held Alec’s life over her head to make her cooperate. I can’t be the only one who finds it suspicious that Maryse suddenly figured out where Alec was being held, or the only one who thinks that his rescue went strangely smoothly.”

Magnus grimaces. Even now, after everything Maryse has said, he doesn’t want to believe it. For Alec’s sake, if nothing else. “Maryse could have told or given Valentine anything. But we have no proof of any of this. We can hardly confront her.”

“No. But we can watch her. And we can protect Alec.”

“Agreed.”

Lydia goes back to work. Magnus finishes eating and goes to lurk conspicuously in the hallway outside Alec’s room. He’s there for about an hour before Jace comes out. He doesn’t look surprised to see Magnus. “He slept through the night. He’s been awake a little today, but not up and around yet. He’s pretty weak. Maryse hasn’t left his side.”

Magnus nods. “I’ll wait.”

He waits.

And waits.

Around midnight, Clary and Izzy make him go get some sleep. He’s back outside Alec’s room at dawn the next day.

At noon, he stands up when Izzy’s bringing in a tray of drinks and food. “I have to see him.”

Izzy studies him for a moment, then taps one of the glasses on the tray. “Mom’s drink,” she says. A smile steals across Magnus’ face. He snaps his fingers. Blue flame flickers down their length and into the cup. The liquid swirls for a minute and then returns to its previous color. Izzy takes the tray into the room.

Ten minutes later, she pokes her head out. “Okay, it’s safe, but stay quiet,” she whispers. Magnus nods and heads into the room. Maryse is asleep in the chair next to Alec’s bed. Alec is dozing as well, so Magnus feels safe approaching him. He kneels down by the side of the bed, smoothing down Alec’s hair, rubbing his thumb over Alec’s cheekbone. He looks gaunt and still exhausted, even though at this point he’s been sleeping almost two days straight.

Magnus traces his fingers over Alec’s lips, and at this, Alec’s eyes flutter open. He looks up at Magnus, and a series of expressions chase their way across his face. Fear, longing, sadness, relief. He closes his eyes again, but reaches up and returns the gesture to Magnus. Magnus takes his hand and presses a kiss against his knuckles.

“I’m sorry,” Alec whispers.

“There’s nothing you need to be sorry for,” Magnus tells him.

“I just . . . I want you here, I do, I want to be with you, but my mother . . .” Alec’s voice is raw and strained. “She’s treating me like she loves me for the first time in months. Years, maybe. I just . . . I know it won’t last, I know she’s going to try to make me give you up, and I won’t, I swear to you I won’t. I love you. But just for now . . . I need her to be here. I need to remember that my mother loves me. The instant I try to insist that you should be here, she’s going to go back to treating me like she doesn’t, and . . . I just don’t know if I could handle that right now.”

Magnus presses another kiss into Alec’s palm. He can’t help but think back to his own childhood, to how there was a time when he would have given anything for his mother to love him again. “You deserve a mother who loves you,” he says. “If that’s what you want, I’m happy to let you have it for as long as it lasts. I won’t interfere.”

Alec’s body relaxes as he lets out a sigh of relief. A little bit of lucidity has crept into his gaze. “You should go home. Get some rest, don’t just sit in the hallway. I’ll come see you as soon as I’m up and around again, no matter what my mother says. Okay? It’s a promise.”

“It’s a date,” Magnus agrees. He leans down and kisses Alec on the corner of his mouth. Alec lets him, then leans up and goes in for a real kiss, which Magnus returns gently. “I’ll see you soon, Alexander.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

It’s been nearly a week, and although Alec has been texting him regularly from a new phone that Izzy had gotten him, Magnus is craving his company. Izzy has sent him a few pictures, updates on how he’s doing and showing that he’s recovering physically. But it’s not the same. He wants Alec here, with him, wants Alec’s skin under his hands and Alec’s voice in his ears.

So when Alec texts him to say, ‘I’m cleared to leave the Institute. You in?’ Magnus practically throws his phone onto the ceiling.

He manages to text back a very smooth, ‘for you, darling, I’m always in’ before he hastens over to his closet to decide what to wear. Alec loves his barely buttoned-up shirts, of course, and a jacket isn’t necessary since he’s staying in. After some debate, he goes with burgundy; it’s a color that looks good on him that Alec has always seemed to like. He adds some jewelry to draw attention to the fact that his shirt isn’t buttoned up, throws on black pants, and debates his hair. He decides against doing anything with it beyond pushing it into its normal spikes. If he has his way, nothing fancy will survive the evening.

It’s late enough that dinner won’t be an issue, so he’s in the midst of selecting a bottle of wine when Alec arrives. He looks as healthy as ever, and a little bit on the shy side, his gaze darting to Magnus and then away. “Hey, I – ” he gets out, before Magnus abandons subtlety and grace, throwing his arms around Alec and nuzzling into his neck. Alec huffs out a quiet little laugh. “I missed you, too.”

Magnus kisses him approximately a hundred times before he manages to pull away and ask, “How are you feeling?”

“Uh, tired still. Bad dreams.” Alec rubs a hand over the back of his head. “Makes it hard to sleep. But they said I’m pretty much fully healed.”

“We’ll have to find some new things for you to dream about,” Magnus tells him. “How is your mother? Or would you rather not talk about it?”

Alec smiles wearily. “She doted on me for about seventy-two hours before I made the mistake of asking if anyone had found my phone. Then she wanted to know why I wanted it, because of course the answer was so I could text you, which annoyed her. It was pretty much downhill from there.”

“I’m sorry,” Magnus says.

Alec shakes his head. “Thanks. For letting me have some time with her. She didn’t deserve it.”

“No. But you did.” Magnus leans up and kisses him again. “Come sit down with me.”

“Okay.”

Magnus draws Alec down onto the sofa with him and pulls him in for a kiss. It’s slow and lazy, and for the first time since his return, Alec finally seems to relax. His eyes are closed and the tension has gone out of his shoulders. He pulls away just slightly, taking a breath that’s more of a sigh. Magnus leans in so he can speak right into Alec’s ear and says, “I love you, Alexander.”

He’s not exactly sure what happens next. He feels Alec go tense all at once, and then the next thing he knows, he’s been pushed back against the arm of the sofa. He opens his mouth to say something about Alec’s level of enthusiasm, but then realizes that something is wrong. Alec’s eyes are open wide, but somehow flat and blank. His right hand whips out and Magnus feels a stinging pain in his neck. His hand goes automatically to where the pain is, and his fingers come away covered in blood.

“What – ” he starts to say.

Alec’s eyes flicker, and he rears up and away, one hand gripping his stele, which seems to have appeared from nowhere. “Oh my God. Oh my God! I didn’t mean – I don’t know what happened, I just – ” He backpedals and ends up on his rear end on the floor. “I don’t know – I didn’t – ”

Magnus gingerly touches the wound. It’s shallow, about an inch long. He has to take in a breath as he realized what had just happened. Somehow, Alec had pulled himself back at the last second. If he hadn’t, Magnus would be dead. In that moment, he had been utterly defenseless. He looks over at where Alec has pressed his back against the wall, knees pulled up to his chest, and goes over to him. “I’m all right, Alec – ”

“Don’t! Don’t come near me!” Alec’s breath is rapid and shallow. “I might – might hurt you, I don’t know what I – ”

“I love you, Alexander,” Magnus says, and this time he’s ready. When Alec’s arm comes up, he knocks it aside. The stele clatters out of his hand and falls to the floor. Magnus pushes back the rage as he sees the panic and confusion in Alec’s eyes. “You’ve been bewitched somehow. It’s a trigger – ”

“No, they, they checked me for magic, for new runes – ”

“Alec.” Magnus puts his finger underneath Alec’s chin and tilts his head up so Alec has to look at him. “I want you to take some deep breaths. All right? You’re fine. I’m fine.”

“But you - you’re bleeding.” Alec reaches out and traces his finger through the blood that’s dripping down Magnus’ neck.

“Yes, a little. But whatever they did to you, you fought back against it. You could have killed me, but you didn’t. It’s not even that deep.” Magnus takes both of Alec’s hands in his and squeezes hard. “It could have been much worse, but you stopped yourself from hurting me. That’s amazing.”

Alec swallows hard and takes a deep breath. “What – what if there are more triggers?”

“I doubt there are. Magic like that, they would have wanted to put everything behind one trigger, one action. Otherwise they would have had to divide up the power. And when you’re trying to coerce someone to do something utterly against their nature, you have to have a lot of power behind it. Up you get.” Magnus pulls him to his feet and guides him over to the sofa. “So they chose something they knew I wouldn’t say unless we were alone, and attached a specific action to it, to attack me with your stele.”

“Okay.” Alec presses both hands against his mouth, trying to regain some sense of calm. “I don’t – don’t know why they would have – ”

Magnus does, but he’s not sure if Alec’s really ready to hear it. He picks up a towel from his kitchen and presses it against the wound. He can’t use magic to stop the bleeding, since it was made by the stele. Whoever had done this had known what they were doing. They had known what Magnus would say and when he would say it. There’s only one person it could be. He tests the waters gingerly. “They would have had to have had my actual voice to do a spell that powerful. My actual voice saying those specific words.”

Alec blinks up at him, uncomprehending.

Magnus pushes a little harder, although he’s careful to keep his voice gentle. “Have you, perchance, saved any of the voice mails I’ve left you?”

“Oh . . . oh, God, yes. Uh. A few of them, for, you know . . .” Alec flushes pink. “I just like having them to listen to sometimes.”

“Your phone went missing along with you, which would explain how they got a sample of my voice. But to use that phrase . . .” Magnus lets his voice trail off. “I’ve made a lot of enemies over the years, Alec, but I can only think of one person who hates me so much that they would bewitch my lover into killing me with _those words_.”

He sees Alec gets it, sees the revelation lodge under his breastbone, sees the instant heartbreak in his eyes. “She . . . she wouldn’t . . .”

Magnus says nothing.

“But it was Valentine,” Alec says, still struggling against it.

“Was it?” Magnus asks. “Or was it someone familiar with his methods, someone who knew how to make it look like he was involved?”

“I saw him,” Alec presses.

“A glamour, perhaps. Or maybe he really was there. Maybe Maryse arranged for his help in exchange for information or a way into Idris. There are a lot of possibilities, but . . . after you were missing for eleven days, with no leads, your mother ‘suddenly’ found out where you were. They were able to rescue you without encountering a single one of Valentine’s men. I’m not sure of the details yet, beloved, but I think the overall shape of what has happened is clear. This, what happened tonight, there’s only one person who would have arranged that.”

“I, I would believe she would kill you if she got the chance, I absolutely believe that, but to make me do it? To – to force me to – ” Alec’s voice cracks. He has to struggle to speak for a long minute before he manages a raw whisper. “Did she really think I would survive that?”

“No,” Magnus says quietly. “I don’t imagine she did.”

Alec’s face twists with the effort to hold back his tears, but he can’t. He winds up bent over with his head in Magnus’ lap, muffling his sobs. Magnus stays silent, stroking his hair. There’s nothing he can say that will help.

Finally, the worst of it is over. Alec sits up, wipes his eyes. “I, uh . . .” He lets out a shaky breath. “I need a drink.”

“You need ten drinks,” Magnus agrees, and goes into the kitchen. He comes out with a bottle of whiskey. This is no time for impressive cocktails. He pours each of them a shot, and they both knock it back. Alec takes the second one without protest.

“Magnus . . .” His voice trails off. Magnus gives him time. “What should I do?”

“I’m not sure why you’re asking me,” Magnus says. “It’s your decision. I’ll stand behind you, no matter what you decide.”

“I know, and I – thank you. Really. But I can’t think, I can’t . . .” Alec takes another shot of whiskey and coughs.

Magnus squeezes his hand and forces himself to be rational. “Maryse couldn’t have done this by herself. There must be a warlock who did the actual magic. He or she is the only one who will be able to remove it. In addition to that, she might or might not have been working with Valentine, and if she bargained with him, it’s crucial to know what she gave him in exchange for his assistance.”

More than anything, Alec looks relieved at this. It’s a concrete problem he can focus on. “Then we need to, to find the warlock. And we need to figure out how to get Mot . . . Maryse.” He swallows convulsively, disowning her with a word. “Figure out how to get Maryse to cooperate, tell us whether or not Valentine was involved.”

“Yes.” Magnus thinks it over. “I think I know a way we can do that. It’s . . . a trifle vindictive, but . . . nothing she doesn’t deserve.”

“Tell me. No. Wait.” Alec closes his eyes. “I need to call Izzy. It’s her mother, too. Izzy needs to be here. So does Jace.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically: Alec is magically induced to try to kill Magnus. He stops himself in time, but for obvious reasons, has a very large freak-out afterwards.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized while I was writing this chapter that I forgot Alec's cat in the last one! How could I! Pretend that Mafdet was there, cuddled up with him, while he was recovering. (Maryse was probably really irked about it, too. =D)

 

“Oh my God, Magnus, you’re hurt,” Izzy says, as soon as she sees the open wound on Magnus’ throat. She sees the way Alec is huddled on the sofa, the tear tracks on his face and half empty whiskey bottle. “What happened? Alec, are you okay?”

“We are both recovering nicely from a very eventful evening,” Magnus tells her. Jace frowns between the two of them. “Unfortunately, while Alec was held captive, someone put a trigger spell on him that made him attack me once we were in private.”

Izzy’s eyes go wide. Jace’s frown deepens. “Can’t have done too good a job at it,” he says.

Magnus’ eyes roll halfway to the Heavens. “Fortunately for me, his heart wasn’t in it.” He gestures to the wound and says, “Since this was made by an angelic blade, I’ll have to wait for it to heal the old-fashioned way, but trust me, if he hadn’t pulled his metaphorical punch, I wouldn’t be talking to you right now.”

“Didn’t we check you for magic when we got you back?” Jace asks Alec.

“Yeah, but since everyone thought I’d been held by Valentine, they checked me for runes, for our magic. They didn’t check me for warlock magic.” Alec’s voice is a little rough, but steady. “Nobody thought a warlock had been involved.”

“How do we know that one was?”

“You think I just stabbed my boyfriend in the neck with my stele for fun?” Alec sounds exasperated, which in Magnus’ opinion is a real improvement over earlier, but the liquor has clearly shot his filter all to hell.

Izzy interrupts. “If Magnus says that a warlock could do a spell like that, I suggest we take him at his word.” She puts a hand on Alec’s shoulder and squeezes. But there’s still a faint frown on her face. Izzy suspects there’s more to this than what they had said so far; Izzy knows that Alec wouldn’t be so upset without good reason. “Is there still danger that the spell might react?”

“I have to say specific words to trigger the effect, apparently, so we should be safe enough for the time being,” Magnus says, “but there is the matter of apprehending the culprit.”

“We’ve spent the last week trying to do that,” Jace says.

“Yes, but we thought it was related to Valentine.” Izzy is frowning. “Now we don’t know that it was. I don’t know that Valentine would work with a warlock, or vice versa, but Alec was definitely found in one of the places that he had been using as a lair. Which means . . . whoever was responsible . . . had the ability to get Shadowhunter information. Or had some other way of knowing what sort of place Valentine was using.”

Alec pours himself another shot of whiskey and lifts it in a toast. “You mean, like a former Circle member who I would have trusted and therefore could have gotten the drop on me, who really hates the fact that I’m dating a warlock?”

Magnus clears his throat. As glad as he is not to have been the one who dropped that bombshell, he wishes that Alec had done it a little more tactfully. Izzy looks like he kicked the breath out of her. Jace is a little slower to catch up. He looks between the two and says, “You think Maryse did this? Are you kidding?”

“Yes! Yes, Jace, I’m kidding. I just like making jokes about how my mother stole my autonomy, bewitched me, and tried to have me murder my boyfriend in a bloody spectacle – ”

Magnus takes the whiskey bottle out of Alec’s hands. “I think you’ve had enough for now, my dear.”

“Oh. My. God.” Izzy has recovered from her speechlessness. “I’m going to kill her.”

“Izzy, she can’t have – ” Jace is still trying to be the voice of reason. “Look, Alec, you’re upset, I get that, and Maryse has treated you like shit, that’s no lie. But to go _this far_? Do you really think she’s capable of that?”

“Why wouldn’t she?” Alec asks bitterly. “She’s already told me she’d rather I was dead.”

“Come on, she didn’t mean that – ”

Magnus clears his throat. “Jace, in your infinite wisdom, do you have any other suspect who would have had access to that information about Valentine, the ability to abduct Alec, knowledge of ways that would keep _both_ of us from tracking him, would have known Alec well enough to realize that he kept my voice mails on his phone and they would have a sample of my voice, and in addition to all that, a motive not only to kill me, but destroy Alexander?”

“Well – ” Jace falls silent. Alec shoots him a look that’s both hopeful and despairing. Jace has to look away. “Uh, not off the top of my head. But we can’t just – I mean, we need evidence, we need proof.”

“Ah, yes. The law is, after all, the law.” Magnus reaches out to smooth his hand over Alec’s hair.

“I mean, we don’t know that there was motive to hurt Alec.” Jace is regaining steam. “If someone wanted to get to you, they could have used him because they were close to you. He’s a perfect weapon – ”

“You want to see a perfect weapon?” Alec snarls, and looks at Magnus. “Say it.”

Magnus’ eyebrows go up. “Are you sure?”

“Fucking say it, show them what she did.”

Magnus nods and says, as gently as possible, “I love you, Alexander.” The words have barely left his mouth when Alec’s stele is coming towards his throat. He could defend himself easily, but it’s Izzy who reacts first, knocking it out of his hand and across the room. Alec’s arm drops to his side and he makes a choked little noise.

“Oh my God, Alec,” Izzy says, letting out a quiet sob.

Alec looks at Jace with tears spilling over. “That’s the fucking trigger. He tells me he loves me, and I try to kill him. Whoever did this could have used _anything_ he had ever said to me, but they used that. So do you still think that this wasn’t meant to hurt me?”

Jace puts a hand over his mouth and looks away. He looks like he might be sick. “I’m sorry. God, Alec, I’m so sorry.”

“How _could_ she?” Izzy kneels in front of her brother, pulling him into an embrace. He clutches at her, burying his face in her shoulder. “I will kill her, Alec, don’t worry, I’m going to take care of this, she’s going to regret the day she was born when I get through with her – ”

“That is a lovely sentiment,” Magnus says, and Izzy shoots him an angry look, “but I’d prefer to have the warlock who performed the actual spell in hand first. That might mean having to get a little creative.”

Alec snuffles a little and looks up. Jace leans over behind him, squeezing his shoulders, and Alec manages a wan smile for him. “So what’s your plan?”

“Maryse would rather do just about anything than lose face and be banished by the Clave,” Magnus says. “And arranging that would be easy if we can get her to break the Accords in front of witnesses.”

“Oh, yeah. Super easy,” Jace says.

“For example, if she were to dispose of a warlock’s body after a Shadowhunter killed him without cause?” Magnus says. “Convince her son, who wanted to turn himself in, to lie about what had happened? Perhaps even admit her involvement with Valentine?”

Izzy nods thoughtfully. “Make her think she’s won. She’ll let her guard down.”

“A simple glamour or two would be all we need,” Magnus says, and looks at Alec. “If you think you’re up to it?”

Alec nods. “Yeah. I can do it,” he says. Both Izzy and Jace shoot him a worried glance. “I’ll be fine,” he says. “Just . . . don’t freak out if things get a bit messy. Because if I want her to think that I actually killed Magnus . . . I’m going to make her see what that would actually do to me.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

One quick glamour creates the dead body on the sofa, and another soaks Alec with blood. Magnus has to take his wards down, which he absolutely detests doing, but there’s no other way for Maryse to get to the loft. Alec steals a sheet off the bed, wraps himself up into it, and waits until it’s late to sneak back into the Institute. He has to stop and take several deep breaths before he can manage to take out his new phone and calls his mother.

“Yes, Alec?” she asks, sounding as brisk and put upon as ever. The softness she had shown him after his ‘rescue’ has already evaporated.

“Mother, I – ” Alec takes a hitching breath. He’s not a good actor, has never really tried to be one. It’s funny, given all the years he spent hiding who he really was. This, however, is not that difficult. Every time he thinks back to the illusion of Magnus’ body, throat cut wide open and eyes staring blankly at the ceiling, he feels like he’s about to have a complete breakdown. “I think I – I need help.”

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Maryse sounds instantly concerned, and Alec wants to scream. They haven’t talked about – Magnus might not even think he realizes yet – but he can’t help but think back to her concern after his ‘rescue’. All the motherly love she had showed him for the first time in years. All just an act to keep anyone from suspecting what she had done.

Thinking of that gives him the ability to keep his voice shaking. “Something – something happened at Magnus’ loft. I don’t – don’t know what, I – please just come help me. Please.”

“Where are you right now?”

“I’m back at the Institute, I didn’t know where else to – ”

“I’ll be right there.”

When she comes through the portal, Alec is waiting for her. The red satin sheet really accentuates the darker red blood that’s splashed all down his front. Her eyes go wide when she sees him, and for a moment, he thinks he sees real concern. “My God, Alec. Look at you. What happened?”

“I don’t know,” Alec repeats, feeling tears come to his eyes again as he pictures Magnus’ dead body, as he thinks about how close he came. He presses a hand against his mouth and tries not to hyperventilate. “Mom, I don’t know. I don’t know what happened. I think he might be dead. I didn’t know who else to call. If – if anyone found out – ”

“It’s all right, it’s all right,” Maryse says, her tone soothing. “I’m here, I’ll fix things. Take me to him.”

Alec nods and swallows hard. He can’t even look at his mother, even though her reaction was exactly what he had expected. He leads her back to Magnus’ loft. As she steps through where the wards should have stopped her, he sees a hard, triumphant smile touch her mouth.

Magnus has done his glamours well. The body on the sofa, the blood everywhere, the dropped glass of wine. Alec can’t look at it without cringing, and another strangled noise escapes him. “Oh my God, he’s dead, isn’t he. I killed him.”

“Let me see,” Maryse says, but there’s no need to check a pulse. The body on the sofa’s throat has been cut with so much force that the head is practically coming off. Maryse turns to Alec. “Don’t worry, sweetie. After what you went through – he probably just startled you, and your training kicked in. It’s going to be fine.”

“Fine?” Alec chokes out. “Magnus is dead and you think things are going to be fine?”

“I’ll take care of it – ”

“No, I – I have to call Lydia. I have to turn myself into the Clave. I broke the Accords – ”

“No, no, sweetie, you don’t have to do that,” Maryse says. “It was an accident, that’s all.”

Alec picks up the bottle of wine and throws it across the room. “No one’s going to believe that that’s an accident! Look at him! Look – l-look – ” He goes to his knees next to Magnus’ body, a sob tearing through him despite the fact that he knows it’s not real. “Oh my God. Oh my God, what have I done, I didn’t mean to, I didn’t mean to – ”

“Pull yourself together!” Maryse snaps. When Alec just chokes out another sob, she gentles her tone. “We can take care of this. Nobody needs to find the body. Nobody even needs to know what happened to him. We can take care of this if you will just get yourself under control.”

Alec forces himself to take in a shuddering breath, reminds himself that Magnus is alive and well behind that glamour. “Why?” he whispers. “Why would you make me do this?”

Maryse’s eyes go slightly wide. “Alec, I don’t know what – ”

“I know – know you hated him, but – how can you hate me so much? How can you want to hurt me so much?”

“Alec, calm down! This isn’t getting us anywhere – ”

“I know it was you.” Alec pushes both hands over his face, tries to stop the tears. “I know I didn’t just ‘accidentally’ kill him. I love him. I would never hurt him. Which means you – you were behind it. All of it. You had me kidnapped. You had me _tortured_. For what? So you could turn me into a weapon and force me to kill the person I loved most in the world. How could you? How could you do that to me?”

“It was for your own good!” Maryse shouts. “You were ruining your life, you were ruining our family name, just so you could be a Downworlder’s rentboy – ”

There’s a sudden snapping noise and Maryse staggers backwards as Izzy’s whip hits her directly across the face. A moment later, Izzy steps out of where the shadows of the glamour had concealed her presence. “Sorry, I ruined it,” she says, without an ounce of real remorse. “But I couldn’t listen to her talk like that.”

“S’fine,” Alec says, his shoulders hitching for breath. “Magnus, please – ”

“I’m fine, my love.” Magnus sits up, all evidence of the wound gone except for the small white bandage that’s now taped down on his neck. He’s even got a full glass of wine on the end table. His tone is soothing, and he reaches out to take Alec’s face in his hands. “I’m fine.”

Alec nods and swallows the lump in his throat.

“W-What?” Maryse looks around, startled. “What just – ”

“Oh, hello, Mother,” Izzy says, with a vicious smile. “I was just watching you break the Accords by admitting you set Alec up to murder Magnus. So that’s conspiring to murder a Downworlder, assault on a Shadowhunter, magical assault on a Shadowhunter, and let’s not forget the part where you tried to convince him to destroy the evidence and lie to the Clave – ”

“Enough!” Maryse shouts. “You’ve made your point.” She lifts her chin defiantly and says, “Do what you’re going to do, then.”

“She thinks we’re going to kill her,” Magnus murmurs. “How adorable.”

Maryse sneers and says, “Are you going to turn me over to the Clave? Put on your fancy suit and pretend to be a lawyer again? It’s my word against yours – ”

“Why do you even think I’m here?” Izzy asks brightly. “To hold the camera!” She waves her phone around. “We got everything you just said and did on video.”

At this, Maryse goes pale, but she doesn’t back down. “Footage can be doctored, so if you think that – ”

“Oh my God, stop!” Alec gets off the floor and turns on her. “Just fucking _stop_! Nobody wants to hear it! You’re already out of favor with the Clave. Nobody’s going to stick out their neck for you, nobody wants to protect you. They’ll all believe what’s on this tape because it’s exactly the sort of thing everyone knows you’re capable of. You’re caught and you know it so just stop!”

Maryse’s jaw sets angrily, and she turns as if she’s going to try to leave, only to find Jace standing behind her. His face is set like stone.

“We want the warlock who did the spell on Alec,” Magnus says.

“Now that you know about the spell, I don’t see why you need him,” Maryse replies.

“Well, I’d like to be able to tell Alec that I love him on occasion,” Magnus says, holding her gaze as her mouth tightens even more. “Plus, if they have that recording of me saying it, it could be used against us in the future. So. The warlock, if you please.”

“I can’t just snap my fingers and produce him,” Maryse snaps.

“Well, however you got in contact with him, do it and do it now, while I’m still in a forgiving mood. Arrange a meeting - not here, I don’t want him inside my wards. He can meet us at the club - I have a back room there that I use to do business.”

“I’m sure.”

“God, she just can’t stop herself,” Jace says, shaking his head. “Will the warlock agree to meet us at the club of the guy he just tried to murder?”

“Mm. Good point. Suggestions?”

Izzy shrugs. “Why don’t we just go to him? I assume that’s what Mom did,” she adds, giving her mother a look. “It’s not like she would have invited him back to the Institute.”

Magnus nods, then looks pointedly at Maryse. “Time’s a wasting.”

Maryse gives him a look that could peel paint, then takes a phone out of her jacket pocket and dials. “I need another meeting. Yes, the same place is fine. Now. Yes, now! I paid you more than enough to have you drop what you’re doing. Be there in ten minutes.” She puts the phone away, mouth pursed. “Let’s go, if we’re going.”

Magnus extends a hand to Alec, who reaches back but then hesitates. Magnus wiggles his fingers and says, “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”

Alec nods and slides his fingers through Magnus’. Jace takes Maryse by the elbow, still not looking at her. Izzy loops the end of her whip around her mother’s wrists and gains a look that’s more insulted than afraid. She ignores Maryse with a haughty chin lift. “So where are we going?”

It turns out to be a small shop on Staten Island, advertising itself as a ‘holistic store’. It’s clearly got a supernatural bent to it, and when Maryse raps sharply at the door, there’s a noise from inside of jingling keys before it’s pulled open. The man standing there is tall and willowy, with a long beard. Magnus takes a look at him and arches his eyebrows. “Ezra Stone? I would have sworn you knew better.”

“Oh, hey, Magnus.” The man is obviously surprised to see him, but not perturbed, and he stands back to let them in. He barely glances at Alec, who’s wearing a glamour so he won’t be recognized. “Yeah, I wouldn’t work with Shadowhunters normally, but she paid really well.”

Magnus is frowning, and Alec has gone tense, as Ezra locks the door behind them. “You . . . have no idea what she paid you to do, do you.”

Ezra grimaces. “Okay, I _know_ , murder is uncool, but if you get a chance at a Circle member, you gotta take it, right? She said it was a sure thing. I take it that it didn’t work out?”

“Oh my God, you poor ignorant fucker,” Izzy mumbles, cradling her head in her hands.

“No, it most decidedly did _not_ work out, which is of no surprise, since the man she hired you to kill was actually me,” Magnus tells him.

Ezra blinks, and notices the way Izzy has Maryse’s hands bound. “Oh my God. Oh my God! No!” It’s practically a yelp. “I had no idea, I swear to you, she said it was a Shadowhunter, a Circle member, she, she never said it was another warlock, let alone you, you have to believe me!”

“Oh, I do,” Magnus says. “You would’ve portaled yourself out of here the instant you saw me if you’d known, or at least you would have tried.”

“Thank God.” Ezra presses a hand against his chest and tries to catch his breath. “That’s going to shave ten years off my life and I don’t even age.”

Magnus rolls his eyes. “Ezra. If you could remove the magic you put on my lover that makes him try to kill me? I would appreciate it. Thank you.”

“Yeah, right, of course.” Ezra looks around and his gaze lights on Alec as he takes the glamour off. His form shimmers and shifts, and Ezra winces a little. “Uh, that would be you, I take it? Okay, yeah, sorry about that. I swear. I mean, I guess it would’ve been traumatic for whoever did it, but I figured if they were in love with a Circle member they probably deserved it? That came out wrong. But, I mean, they _did_ murder a ton of us – ”

“Ezra,” Magnus says again, sounding a trifle amused.

“Right. The spell. No problem.” Ezra snaps his fingers, and a spindle of yellow fire appears at the end of them. “This might feel a little odd,” he adds, drawing his finger in a pattern in the air and then flicking his hand forward. The yellow flame hits Alec in the chest and lances outward. For a brief moment, the flame crawls over his chest, and then it dissipates.

“Is that it?” Alec asks, his voice tight with nerves.

“Yeah, sure, that stuff’s a lot easier to take off than to put on, you know.”

Alec turns to Magnus, jaw squared and hands trembling. Magnus knows exactly what he needs; he takes Alec’s face in his hands and whispers, “I love you, Alexander.”

All the breath leaves Alec in a rush when nothing happens. “Say it again.”

A little smile curves at Magnus’ mouth, and he complies.

“I love you too,” Alec says, and leans in for a kiss.

It goes on long enough for Maryse to open her mouth. Izzy steps on her foot before she can say something to ruin the moment, and she shoots a glower at her daughter that Izzy ignores. “All right, I did what you wanted, now get this off me,” Maryse says instead, gesturing with her bound hands.

“Are you kidding?” Izzy asks. “I’m still taking you back to the Clave and making you answer for this.”

Maryse’s jaw sags slightly. Alec breaks off the kiss and looks up, frowning. “Izzy, you can’t do that. She did what we told her to do.”

“So what?” Izzy gives a careless shrug. “I don’t recall saying I wouldn’t turn her over to the Clave if she brought us to the warlock. It’s not my fault if she came to that conclusion.”

“Izzy,” Alec groans. He looks at Magnus and says, “I suppose you’re on her side.”

Magnus looks innocent. “Well, I did make very sure not to make any promises to Maryse, but that was mainly because I knew you wouldn’t like it if I broke them. Personally, I can think of things a lot worse than turning her over to the Clave, but, well, for _her_ , that’s probably the worst thing we could do. I’d rather humiliate her than kill her at this point.”

“That’s great, Magnus.” Alec rubs a hand over his face, looks between Izzy and Magnus and Jace. “We can’t do that.”

“Why not?” Jace asks. “After what she did to you? Why are you going to defend her?”

“I’m not defending her, I just – I don’t want to sink to her level. After everything else she’s done, I won’t let her make me something I’m not. Which means, I’m not breaking a deal, not even one that was understood instead of spoken.”

“Alexander, your sense of honor is deeply attractive, believe me, but what precisely do you have in mind to do instead?” Magnus asks, twining his fingers through Alec’s. “We certainly can’t let her go skipping off into the distance to try to kill us again. That seems like very poor long-term planning. We still don’t even know whether or not she was working with Valentine.”

“I don’t know, but you’re the High Warlock of Brooklyn, figure something out,” Alec says. “Can’t you do some magic on her that will keep her from trying it again?”

Magnus purses his lips. “Magic has limits, you know. I could do a spell like that, but odds are good she could find a way around it – or even find another warlock to counter it.”

“Then just do some magic to make her forget that we even exist,” Alec says. “God knows I’d be happier that way.”

“Memory spells are _particularly_ fickle, as Clary would be happy to attest, and unless you plan on somehow convincing everyone in Idris not to mention you to her, I don’t think that would work either.”

“Oh, that reminds me!” Ezra says. “You want your memories back?”

“I – what?” Alec turns at him and blinks. “Oh. Yeah, I guess.”

Magnus grimaces and hastens to intervene. “It might be better not. Alec, you don’t remember much of the time you were gone, but the evidence was that you had endured . . . considerable hardship, let’s put it that way. Those memories aren’t going to be pleasant, and frankly I don’t see the harm in letting them stay gone.”

Alec chews on his lower lip for a moment, considering. “No,” he finally says. “I think I need to know what happened. It might help us figure out whether or not Valentine was involved.”

“All right,” Magnus says, stepping back. Alec lets out a breath and motions to Ezra, a little ‘get it over with’ gesture. Another yellow flame appears at the tips of Ezra’s fingers, this time moving to sit on his palm and bounce there twice before it zips over and hits Alec right between the eyes. Alec lets out a weak cry and sags to his knees. Jace grabs him before he can fall, bracing him as he shudders.

“I – you – ” Alec stammers before he manages to look up at his mother. Between clenched teeth, he grits out, “How could you?”

Maryse’s jaw sets and she refuses to look at him.

Alec presses a hand over his mouth, struggling to stay calm. Finally, he says, “Yeah. Okay. Take her to the Clave. I don’t fucking care anymore.”

Izzy looks at Magnus, a little uncertain. Magnus smoothes down Alec’s hair and says, “It’s not that I don’t agree with you, but I _am_ a little concerned about your sudden change of heart.”

Alec’s shoulders heave. “You know how she got me alone and off guard? She called me, said she wanted to talk. Said she knew she’d said some things she shouldn’t have. But she wanted to apologize, wanted to sit down and talk about it. She said she _missed_ me. That’s why I went to see her, and then she – ” He chokes on the words. “If she can lie like that, then I can break promises. Screw it. Izzy, take her to the Clave. Magnus, take me back to the loft so I can keep drinking whiskey until I pass out.”

“Mm. Yes, let’s _not_ make decisions you’ll regret later right now,” Magnus decides. As much as it might complicate matters for them in the long-term, he cares more about making sure that Alec doesn’t blame himself for whatever happens to Maryse. They’ll figure something out. “In the meantime . . .” He waves one hand with his usual flourish, sending a lance of blue flame in Maryse’s direction. She sags to the floor, and Izzy moves to catch her but then lets her drop. “Ezra, I wonder if you could keep an eye on her for a day or two? She won’t wake ‘til I get back to wake her.”

“Yeah, sure, whatever you need,” Ezra says with a nervous laugh.

“I’ll go call my father and let her know that she’ll be staying at the Institute tonight so he doesn’t look for her,” Izzy says. She gives Alec a tight hug and says, “I’ll come check on you in a few hours, okay?”

“I’ll be unconscious by then, but sure,” Alec says. Magnus and Jace help him up, and he leans on them heavily as they leave Ezra’s shop.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

Alec is true to his word. He goes straight for the whiskey and doesn’t stop drinking until he passes out in Magnus’ lap about an hour later. It’s an exhausting hour, while Alec alternately rages and despairs over what his mother had done to him. Magnus supplies the liquor, cushions for Alec to punch and dishes to break, and the silencing spell which will keep any neighbors from hearing what’s going on. He holds him while he cries, reassures him that he’s not weak because of his tears.

Once he’s asleep, Magnus carries him into the bedroom and sits down with him, feeling the weight of the day pressing down on his shoulders. He closes his eyes and doesn’t open them again until Izzy arrives. She’s holding Mafdet in her arms, and sets the cat down on the end of the bed, where she curls up at Alec’s feet. Izzy stands in silence for a minute, watching Magnus run his fingers through Alec’s hair, before she asks, “How is he?”

“He’s feeling no pain, as they say,” Magnus says, giving Izzy a smile.

“Okay. Good.” Izzy sits down on the edge of the bed next to Magnus. “And how are you?”

“I . . .” Magnus wonders why that question comes as such a surprise to him. “I’m feeling a great deal of pain, since you ask. But I’ll survive it, as I’ve survived every other attempt to hurt me.”

Izzy nods. She puts an arm around Magnus’ shoulder and pulls him into a hug. “He’s worth it, though, isn’t he?”

“Oh, yes.” Magnus rests his weight against her, letting her support him. “He is spectacular in every way. He has no idea how impressive it is that he was able to fight off that spell. And I would tell him that repeatedly, except I don’t want to remind him of what happened. It’ll have to be our little secret, I suppose.”

“I think he’ll be okay, Magnus.” Izzy presses a kiss against Magnus’ hair before letting him go. “He’s just going to need time.”

Magnus nods as she pulls away. “And how are you?”

“Like you, I’m hurt and angry as hell, but I’m not surprised. I figured out a while ago that she was going to keep pushing until she . . . did something unforgivable. I guess I had already decided in advance she wouldn’t be forgiven.”

“Whereas Alec knew intellectually that she would never come around . . . but the heart wants what it wants.” Magnus sighs. “And what to do with Maryse? The petty part of me wants to pay her back for Alec’s pain in kind, but I know that for her, being banished and stripped of her power will be worse than any torture I could devise. Even so. Alec might have said it was all right to turn her over to the Clave, but I’d prefer if he made that decision while sober and at least marginally emotionally stable.”

“That might be a while.” Izzy shakes her head. “I want her to face justice, and we definitely need her to answer some questions. But I think Alec should decide. I think that’s his right.”

“Agreed.” Magnus covers a yawn. It’s been an exhausting day. “I think I’m going to get some sleep. You’re welcome to stay if you’d like.”

“Thanks, but I’m going to head back to the Institute, check in with Jace and Clary, and take a long, hot shower. But I’ll bring breakfast in the morning, how does that sound? He’s going to need a double dose of grease for that hangover and I doubt he’ll want to be seen in public.”

“Excellent idea. Thank you, Isabelle.”

“You’re welcome.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

Magnus is awake before Alec the next morning, which doesn’t surprise him, given Alec’s overindulgence the night before. He washes his face but decides against putting makeup on or doing his hair, since he knows that Alec likes to see him in his more natural state, especially in the morning. He gets dressed in a loose shirt that he doesn’t bother buttoning, and soft black pants.

Izzy might swear by greasy food for a hangover, but Magnus knows better. Alec needs water and electrolytes right now, so he goes into the kitchen to make his usual remedy, tea with coconut water as a base and a few extra herbs and spices that have more magical properties than medicinal.

He doesn’t want to wake Alec, but he’s stirring when he goes in, so he sits down next to him and says his name quietly. Alec opens one eye and groans. “Drink up,” Magnus says, so Alec flails into a sitting position and drains the cup without having to be told twice. “Better?”

“Uhhhhg,” is Alec’s response.

“Head? Or stomach?”

“Both. I think I might throw up.”

“Just take some deep breaths. I’ll add some ginger.” Magnus makes a second cup of tea and makes Alec drink that one, too, as he sits by Alec’s side and rubs his back. Mafdet paws at his thigh and then climbs into his lap. Finally, Alec’s eyes open all the way, and he scratches the cat behind the ears. “Ah, there you are,” Magnus teases.

“I’d say ‘good morning’, but . . . this morning sucks.”

Magnus gives a snort of laughter despite himself. “You’ll feel better, the more you drink. You’re dehydrated, that’s all. Your sister said she would come by with breakfast, but it’s early yet, so you have time. And if you don’t want to see anyone, I’m sure she’d understand.”

“No, I’m . . . I’m okay seeing Izzy.” Alec rakes a hand through his hair. “I was thinking last night, maybe I’d have you do makeup for me today. Because, you know, it makes you look so amazing, maybe it could hide the amount of crap I feel like. But on second thought, if anyone touches my face, I will _definitely_ puke.”

“Some other time, perhaps.” Magnus draws his legs underneath himself, sitting Indian-style. “You’re welcome to stay here until you’re feeling better. But unfortunately, there is some business we need to take care of.”

Alec nods and then instantly regrets it, closing his eyes. He takes another long drink of the tea. “My mother.”

“Yes. I talked it over with Izzy. We’ll abide by your decision, whatever it is. But one way or another, she does need to be dealt with, sooner rather than later.”

“I know.” Alec’s silent for a minute, staring down at the cat like she holds the secrets of the universe. Finally, he says, “We should turn her over to the Clave. Getting us the warlock so we could undo the magic doesn’t undo what she did. She broke the Accords.” He lets out a breath. “The law is the law. I’ve learned a lot about what that actually means, and how sometimes the spirit of the law is more important than the letter . . . but this isn’t one of those times. Maryse needs to face justice for what she’s done. And really, no matter what else happened, she should know me enough to realize that that would be my answer.”

“True enough.” Magnus leans over and presses a kiss into Alec’s hair. “Let Izzy and Jace handle it, all right? You don’t need to do it yourself. We have the recording. She can face justice without you having to face her.”

Alec nods. The silence sits there for a moment before he says, “I don’t ever want to see her again.”

“You’ll never have to,” Magnus replies.

Alec finishes his third cup of tea. A little bit of color is returning to his face. “The more I think about it, the more I . . . remember,” he says, and swallows convulsively, “the more sure I am that Valentine actually was there. Because . . . someone could have pretended to be him wearing a glamour, that’s true. But he was there . . . constantly. Izzy and Jace have told me about how the search for me went. Mom was around more often than not. Which means whoever was . . .”

His voice falters again. Magnus squeezes his hand and supplies, “Hurting you?”

Alec nods. “Whoever was hurting me wasn’t her. So unless we drastically misread Ezra’s character . . .”

“Which is possible but frankly unlikely,” Magnus says, nodding. “Not just from his actions last night, but I have actually known him for well over a century. He’s not exactly the warm and fuzzy sort – thus agreeing to do the spell on you to begin with – but that sort of prolonged torture is not precisely in his wheelhouse.”

“Then _someone_ was there, and either it was Valentine or someone pretending to be Valentine. At which point we have to question why anyone would bother.”

“I agree,” Magnus says. “And Lydia and I had already discussed the possibility that Maryse had traded Valentine information for his assistance. We’ll let the Clave handle questioning her. I don’t think you need to be involved in that. Though there is one other question I have for her,” he adds, and Alec raises his eyebrows. “I can’t quite fathom why they kept you so long. The magic wouldn’t have been easy, but it would have taken a day at most.”

“I . . . think I can actually answer that.” Alec lets out a breath. “I remember at one point, while I was mostly . . . mostly out of it, someone was asking why it was taking so long. I think it must have been my . . . been Maryse, wearing a glamour so I wouldn’t recognize her. Valentine said that the sort of magic she wanted done would only take if the subject was . . . put in a receptive frame of mind. That they had to be broken down first.”

“Mm. Perhaps that’s why it didn’t work on you entirely. Because he never broke you.”

Alec studies his hands. “I feel . . . I feel pretty broken, Magnus.”

“I know.” Magnus leans in and kisses him. “I do know, Alexander. But it gets better. It needs time, time and attention and unconditional love. All of which I have plenty of for you.” He gives Alec another kiss, sees the doubt in his eyes. “Believe me, my love, there are times I’ve felt the same. There were times when, like you, I would have given anything for my mother to love me again. When she realized what I was, when she first saw my demon marks, she couldn’t . . . cope with it. She killed herself not long after.”

Alec sucks in a breath. “God, Magnus, I’m sorry.”

Magnus nods and squeezes his hand. “The man who had been raising me tried to kill me, and I . . . lost control. I killed him in self-defense. I was ten years old when that happened. So believe me, Alec, I do understand. And it does get better.”

“Thanks.” Alec has to take a few deep breaths before rubbing at his eyes. After a minute, he reaches out and traces his fingers over the bandage on Magnus’ throat. “How’s your neck?”

“Scabbing over atrociously, thank you.”

At this, Alec’s lips twitch a little. “Sorry.”

Magnus plants a kiss on the corner of Alec’s mouth. “You’re worth it.”

“So are you,” Alec says, and Magnus blinks, surprised although he couldn’t say why. “You’re always saying that I’m worth it, you know - if I grow old and die it was still worth it, if I get killed by a banshee, it was still worth it. I want you to know that _you’re_ worth it.” Alec grabs Magnus’ hand and squeezes it tightly. “Even after everything my mother’s done. Obviously I’d be happier if this hadn’t happened, and I’m pissed and upset. But you’re the best thing to ever happen to me. You saved me from myself. Even knowing everything I know now, if I was back in that church, I would still walk down that aisle and kiss you. I’d do it twice over.”

Magnus’ mouth is hanging slightly open. “That – that was breathtaking, Alexander. I’m not sure what I can say to top that.”

“Then don’t talk,” Alec says, and leans in for a kiss. He kisses Magnus deep and slow for about four seconds before pulling away, his face a little green, and saying, “I think I’m going to throw up.”

“Worse things have been said after kissing me,” Magnus says, and hustles Alec to the bathroom.

 

~ ~ ~ ~


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be honest, I wasn't quite sure what to do with Robert Lightwood, he's kind of a non-presence, but I did my best!
> 
> There will be one more chapter to this arc after this one. Then ... I don't know what I'll do after that! Write something else probably. =D

 

By the time Izzy and Jace show up with breakfast, Alec is asleep again, sprawled out against Magnus’ shoulder, face pressed into his neck as they cuddle on the sofa. Magnus is dozing himself, fingers idly tangling in Alec’s hair. His eyes open when they come in.

“Good morning,” Izzy says quietly. “How’s he doing?”

“Much better, all things considered.” Magnus’ fingers trail down the back of Alec’s neck. “He’s agreed that turning Maryse over to the Clave is for the best, but expressed a desire to be as little involved as possible.”

Izzy nods. “We can go pick her up. Will we need you?”

“To wake her if nothing else. Also, Ezra probably won’t answer the door if it’s just Shadowhunters.” Magnus looks down at Alec wistfully. “He told me it was okay if I left while he was sleeping, but . . .”

“Why don’t I stay with him?” Jace suggested. “You two can go. I’ll hang out.”

Magnus nods. Jace will do well at keeping Alec distracted, should he wake. “Fair enough.” He carefully repositions Alec so he’s lying down. Alec stirs a little but doesn’t wake. “Let me change,” he adds, because he has no intention of seeing Maryse Lightwood or any of the other Shadowhunters without being in his own version of body armor. That means his black leather jacket, fingerless gloves, boots, and enough eyeliner to open a makeup counter.

After a moment fixing his hair, he grabs a final piece for the outfit. It’s a scarf that Alec had bought for him after seeing Magnus admire it in a store. It’s pink, purple, and blue, the colors of the bisexual pride flag. Alec hadn’t known the significance, and doubtless Maryse won’t either, but he wraps it around his neck as a giant middle finger towards the universe.

“Shall we?” he says to Izzy, who nods and accepts his arm. It’s a short trip through a portal. Magnus doesn’t take public transportation unless absolutely necessary. He does know how to drive, but doesn’t own a car. “How are things back at the Institute?” he asks, knocking on the window of Ezra’s shop.

Izzy sighs. “Kind of like a wasp’s nest that’s been poked with a sharp stick. A lot of people don’t believe – it’s not that they don’t think my mother is capable of this kind of thing, but they’re not exactly predisposed to take your side, either.”

“Does that matter?”

“No. Lydia’s seen the video and she’s already given most of the details to the Inquisitor. It doesn’t matter what the riffraff think.”

Magnus nods as Ezra pulls the door open. The warlock seems nervous and overtired, which Magnus supposes isn’t a surprise. He sure as hell wouldn’t have slept much with Maryse in his custody, regardless of how much magic had been done on her. “Here to collect the merchandise,” he says, with an easy smile.

“Well, thank the maker,” Ezra mutters, and lets them in. Maryse is just inside, propped up in a chair and still unconscious. Magnus snaps his fingers, sending an arc of blue flame to wash over and through her. She jerks back to consciousness, just as Ezra is saying, “What took you so long?”

“I had a busy morning,” Magnus says, then winks at Maryse and says, “So much sex to have. Near death experiences do wonders for the libido.”

It’s completely untrue – in fact, he’s keenly feeling the dry spell which has lasted since just before Alec’s disappearance – but it has the desired effect. Maryse’s mouth twists in anger. “You disgust me.”

“The feeling’s mutual, darling.” Magnus can’t help but twist the knife. “The sad thing is, you could have had it your way. I’d hardly be easy to kill, but you could have found a way to do it without involving Alec. Then, well, it might have been breaking the Accords but the Clave is well-known for looking the other way if a Downworlder gets hurt during a Shadowhunter’s pursuit of a better world. But since you used Alec as your weapon, you’ll have to face their justice.”

“Only if they believe a word of it,” Maryse retorts.

“It doesn’t matter. They’re desperate to find Valentine, as you well know. Even if they’re not sure if you’re guilty, your connection to him – well, try not to take the interrogation too hard.” Magnus snaps his fingers and opens the new portal. “Ezra, while I understand you didn’t know you were being lied to, it would probably be better if I didn’t see you around for a few decades.”

“Right. On it,” Ezra says hastily.

Izzy gets the whip around her mother’s wrists and pulls her through the portal. A few moments later, they’re back at the Institute. It’s not exactly a loud place, but it goes dead silent at their entrance. Everyone is just staring. Maryse has her chin held up at a haughty angle, and doesn’t dignify their stares with commentary.

Before anyone can say anything, there’s a clack of heels and Lydia emerges. Her face is set in her briskly professional expression, and she nods to them. “Magnus, Isabelle,” she says. “I’ve spoken with the Clave and the Inquisitor. They’re taking this matter very seriously and instructed me to bring Maryse back to Idris to face trial.”

“Excellent.” Magnus gives a little wave of his hand, and a whirl of blue sparks come out of it, forming a small flock of fireflies that dance around them. It will keep them from being overheard, and he doesn’t want Maryse to hear what he has to say. “Alec has asked to be spared having to testify against her directly, since we have her confession on video.”

Lydia thins her lips. “I’ll . . . relay that to the Clave.”

Magnus knows she can’t guarantee it, so he simply nods in response. “What do you think their decision will be?”

“Do you want an honest answer to that question?”

Magnus can’t help but smile. “If you’d be so kind.”

“If she hadn’t involved Valentine, they probably would let her off with a slap on the wrist, especially since her attempt to kill you didn’t succeed. As things are, they’re going to be far more interested in what she knows about him, rather than what she did.”

“That sounds much like the Clave,” Magnus agrees. “And?”

“If she cooperates, she might squirm free of serious consequences.” Lydia gestures to the sparks. “These mean she can’t hear us, right?” she adds, and Magnus nods. “If she’s smart, she’ll say she only involved Valentine so she could get information on him. That she came up with that plot after deciding to kill you, that she was only acting in the Clave’s best interests. Whether the Clave will believe that, I don’t know. If she doesn’t cooperate, she’ll be banished.”

Magnus nods. “Either way – whatever happens – you understand that I can’t allow her to ever lay a finger on Alexander again.”

“I understand,” Lydia says, then adds dryly, “though I’m not sure why you’re telling me.”

“Because,” Magnus says gently, “if she’s banished, I will need five minutes alone with her at some point.”

Lydia glances between Magnus and Maryse. “If you’re going to use magic on her, why not just do it now?”

“She’s a Shadowhunter, and a powerful one. It wouldn’t be easy, and I can’t guarantee that it will last. If she’s banished, I’ll do the magic after she’s been stripped of her runes. If she isn’t, I’ll endeavor to find a more . . . permanent solution.”

“And the less I hear about that, the better.” Lydia shakes her head. “I’ll keep you up to date.”

“I appreciate that, Miss Branwell.” Magnus holds out his hand, and the fireflies swirl around it and then disappear.

“I’ll go back to the loft with you,” Izzy says, then adds to Lydia, “unless you need me?”

“No, I have things well in hand,” Lydia says. “Tell Alec I said hello, and that I hope he’s feeling better.”

“I will. Thanks.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

Alec, Izzy, and Jace have settled onto the sofa for some quality sibling time while they watch Adventure Time (a show that Magnus is doing his best to get Alec hooked on, and for the most part, succeeding). It’s a good, mindless activity which keeps Alec distracted from everything that’s happened. Magnus is in the kitchen, making dinner. Alec had complained of being cold - he often seems cold since his time with Valentine, Izzy says - so Magnus had built up the fire. All in all, it’s a cozy, welcoming atmosphere.

Which doesn’t stop something from nagging at the corner of his senses. He’s not sure what it is at first, mostly ignoring it while he tends the food. It’s Shadowhunter energy, outside, too close for comfort but not actively trying to get through his wards.

After a few minutes, he realizes who it has to be. He takes a look at what he’s got on the stove. The steak is done; the mushrooms are nearly there. He turns the heat off and then pokes his head into the other room. “Darling, I’m just going to run out for a bottle of wine,” he says.

“Mmkay,” Alec says into Izzy’s shoulder.

Magnus heads down the stairs and out the front door to find Robert Lightwood pacing back and forth on the street. “Can I help you?” he asks, hoping that his tone makes it clear that he sincerely doubts the answer is yes.

“I would - I need to see my son,” Robert says, then adds, “Please.”

Magnus had already been turning away when the ‘please’ hits his ears, but then he turns back. “All right,” he says, folding his arms over his chest. “What are you going to say to your son?”

“I just want to tell him that I’m sorry. That I didn’t know - what Maryse was doing.”

“Of course you didn’t,” Magnus says. “Alec never thought that you did. As usual, you’ve looked the other way while the woman you married tormented your children, and never thought to curb her or intervene or do anything other than vaguely apologize to them in the aftermath. Your apology is far too little and years too late.”

“That’s true,” Robert says, looking away. “But I still think I should say it to his face. I think I owe that to him.”

Magnus considers this for a minute. “All right,” he finally says. “I will go ask Alec if he is willing to see you. After that, you’re on your own.” He doesn’t wait for a reply, but turns and goes back into the loft. None of the three Lightwood siblings have budged while he was gone. He heads over to the TV and picks up the remote, pausing the episode.

“Hey,” Izzy says, pouting.

Magnus doesn’t waste time cushioning the words. “Your father is here, and he would like to see you.”

Izzy scowls. Alec looks up, then sighs.

“You don’t have to see him,” Magnus adds. “He can stand out there all night, for all I care.”

“I can’t avoid him the rest of my life,” Alec says. “I guess he might as well come up. Just get it over with.”

“One of us could glamour and pretend to be you,” Jace offers.

Magnus can’t help but smile at that. “For once, I actually like a suggestion by Jace Wayland! What is the world coming to.”

Jace flips him off.

“Just go let him in,” Alec says, sounding long-suffering. Magnus does, although he stops to drop a kiss on the top of Alec’s head on his way by. Robert even thanks him when Magnus gestures for him to follow, and by the time they get back upstairs, Alec has gotten off the sofa and is facing the door with a closed-off expression on his face.

“Alec,” Robert says, and there’s genuine relief in his voice, on his face. “I’m - I’m so glad to see you.”

Alec says nothing.

“I know you must be angry with me,” Robert continues. “You have every right to be. All I can do is say that - I’m sorry. For everything I did or didn’t do, for all the times I stood by while your mother hurt you.”

“Okay,” Alec says. There’s a long moment of excruciatingly awkward silence. “Was that all?”

Robert grimaces, an expression that’s as much shame as it is sorrow. “Yes, I . . . I suppose it was.”

Alec points to the door.

Robert turns to go, but then turns back. “Damn it, Alec, I - I’m sorry. I really am. What - what do you want me to say?”

“In exchange for what?” Alec asks.

Robert blinks, taken aback. “I beg your pardon?”

“What are you after here?” Alec says. “You can’t fix this. You can’t undo what Mom did. You can’t make things okay. So when you ask what I want you to say, what reaction are you trying to get from me? Am I supposed to suddenly be happy to see you? Say we don’t have to banish Maryse? Tell me what you want and then I’ll tell you what you need to say in order to get it.”

It’s clear that Robert doesn’t know how to respond to that. He stammers for a moment while the other three people in the room attempt to melt into the walls.

“Oh, you don’t know? Because I do. You want me to absolve you of your guilt. You want me to say ‘it’s okay, Dad’. It isn’t, and I won’t. You want me to say ‘I understand’. I don’t, and I won’t. So if there’s nothing else you need from me, the door is to your left.”

Robert grimaces. “Well, I – I’ll go, but – I just want you to know that if you need me, if you want to talk to me – just call me. All right?”

“Sure. Fine. In the case of that unlikely event, I’ll call you,” Alec says, and with that, Robert slinks away. Alec thuds back onto the sofa, and Izzy puts an arm around his shoulders.

“Well!” Magnus says brightly. “Who’s hungry?”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

Magnus offers to let Izzy and Jace stay the night - the former cheerfully and the latter somewhat begrudgingly - but they decide against it. Izzy wants to talk with Lydia about the trial, and Jace, of course, wants to see Clary. Alec doesn’t ask them to stay, so Magnus doesn’t push the issue. Instead, he draws Alec a hot bath, uses his magic to keep it at the perfect temperature, and ushers him into it. Alec looks at the flowers strewn over the water’s surface and his lips twitch into what’s almost a smile, the closest he’s come to one in weeks.

The bath gets him to relax enough to sleep. Magnus smoothes down his hair and presses light kisses into his forehead and temple, but doesn’t try anything else. It’s clear that Alec’s not in the mood, and Magnus can hardly blame him.

A few hours later, he’s woken when Alec starts to toss and turn. Magnus remembers what he had said about the bad dreams that he’s been having. Now he has even more fodder for nightmares than before. He considers using magic to soothe the dreams away, but decides against it. It would be an invasion of Alec’s mind, so he won’t do it without explicit permission.

Instead, he goes with the more direct method of reaching over and giving Alec’s shoulder a quick shake. He ducks the hands that come up to grab him as Alec sits bolt upright, chest heaving for breath. “M-Magnus!”

“It’s all right, I’m here,” Magnus says, as Alec looks around wildly.”I’m here, I’m fine.”

Alec draws in a shuddering breath as if he’s been choking. “I can’t - every time I close my eyes, I keep seeing you die.”

“But I’m fine, my love,” Magnus says, curling his hand around the back of Alec’s neck, pressing their foreheads together. “I’m fine. I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”

Alec’s hands clutch at the back of Magnus’ shirt, and he takes a few more deep breaths in an attempt to steady himself. Finally, he says, “I thought we weren’t supposed to make promises we might not be able to keep.”

Magnus can’t help but smile at that. “But we’ve become a perfect paradox. If I can’t die until you do, and you can’t die until I do, then we’ll just have to live forever.”

“I don’t think that’s how it works,” Alec says, but despite his words, he’s relaxing, letting his weight rest against Magnus. “God, I’m such a mess. I hate this.”

“On the contrary, beloved, you are far less of a mess than anyone in your shoes has any right to be,” Magnus says. “I’ve seen the effects of prolonged torture before, you know. The fact that you are still walking and talking is amazing. Not to even mention the fact that you resisted the magic that had been done on you. Ezra might not be on my level, but he’s no lightweight, either. Only the strongest people, mentally speaking, would have been able to fight that spell off. You are more than just ‘not a mess’, darling, you are the most incredible person I’ve ever known.”

Alec sighs. “I guess I have to take your word on it.”

“If only I could win every argument so swiftly.” Magnus kisses him on the forehead. “Shall I help you sleep?”

Alec looks up at him with eyes that are red-rimmed and exhausted. “Would you?”

“You need only ask.” Magnus rubs a hand down Alec’s back, the warm blue glow appearing around his hands. Alec lets out a small sigh and curls up against Magnus’ shoulder, letting sleep take over.

With magic holding the nightmares at bay, Alec sleeps long past dawn. It looks like the first time he’s really slept in weeks, so Magnus doesn’t interrupt him. He texts occasionally with Izzy, staying up to date on the day’s events, and stays in bed with Alec. By the time he wakes up, it’s nearly noon. He’s in a _much_ more amenable mood then, and they kiss for what feels like hours while he slowly undoes every button of the outfit that Magnus had just put on –

And his phone rings. Magnus closes his eyes and resists the urge to scream.

Alec rolls off the bed and grabs it, glancing at the screen before saying, “Hey. How’s it going?”

Magnus thinks about listening in, but then decides against it. He stares at the ceiling and wonders if they’re ever going to have sex again.

“Okay . . . okay.” Alec draws in a shaky breath. “Yeah, I . . . no, I’ll be fine. I’m with Magnus. . . . sure, I’ll tell him. Okay. Thanks, Lydia.” He hangs up and sits down on the edge of the bed. Magnus sits up and swings his legs over the side so they’re next to each other. “So, my mo . . . Maryse insisted to the Clave that Valentine wasn’t really involved. That she just made it look that way to throw you off the trail and you wouldn’t think to check me for warlock magic.”

“So she admitted what she did.” Magnus thinks this over and decide it was actually a savvy strategic move on Maryse’s part. Admit to the small crime of trying to kill a warlock, to evade the more serious charges of being involved with Valentine. “And?”

“And the Clave doesn’t believe her. They . . .” Alec closes his eyes and swallows. “They’re giving her to the Silent Brothers.”

“Ah.” Magnus can see why he’s upset, and reaches out to take his hand. “I wouldn’t worry about Maryse, Alec. For all her flaws, she’s hardly weak-willed. I’m sure she’ll survive.”

“Yeah.” Alec lets out a breath. “Yeah, you’re right.”

Magnus squeezes his hand. “What was it Lydia wanted you to tell me?”

“Oh.” Alec frowns slightly. “Just that she was working on the arrangements you talked about. Whatever those were.”

“Would you like to know?”

Alec thinks about that for a long minute. “Not right now. When the arrangements are put together, when you know what you’re going to do . . . then I’ll want to know. But I trust you and Lydia to do what needs to be done.”

Magnus pulls Alec’s knuckles to his lips and presses a kiss against them. Since sex is obviously off the table, he says, “Now, we need to get you out of this loft and take your mind off things. Otherwise you’ll sit here all day thinking about what’s going on thousands of miles away. We are going shopping, and we will have dinner somewhere obscenely expensive, and perhaps even visit a tourist attraction or two.”

“Shopping, huh?” Alec gives him that almost-smile again. “You just can’t resist the chance to drag me to Fifth Avenue.”

“No, I cannot,” Magnus agrees.

“You wanna invite Izzy? She enjoys your shopping trips more than I do.”

“True as that may be, she said she would be in Idris until your mother’s fate had been decided.”

Alec frowns. “If Izzy’s there, I should be there.”

“No, Alexander. That’s not how it works.” Magnus takes Alec’s hands in his. “Both of you have to deal with this in your own way. Izzy wants to see this. You don’t. There’s nothing wrong with that, for either of you. Izzy knew you wouldn’t want to go, and she’s fine with that. Jace is with her. She’ll be all right.”

After a moment, Alec lets out a breath. “Yeah, okay. But we better buy her something nice.”

“Absolutely.”

“And if you really want to take my mind off things, don’t even try to drag me to one of those classy restaurants you like so much. They give me three slivers of chicken and a stalk of asparagus and try to call it a meal. You want to cheer me up, take me to Shake Shack.”

Magnus laughs. “I think I can accommodate that request.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

Three hamburgers, two milkshakes, and several thousand dollars later, they get back to Magnus’ loft. They haven’t heard anything further from Izzy or Lydia, and Alec starts to key up again as soon as he isn’t immediately otherwise occupied. Magnus insists on doing his hair and makeup and taking him to the club. He puts on one of his new outfits, which Alec had approved of very much in the dressing room, and proceeds to thoroughly distract him on the dance floor.

It works like a dream. As upset as Alec might be over the events of the last few weeks, nothing can compete with the sight of Magnus dancing. They wind up leaving after only an hour, and Magnus portals them home because he’s honestly worried that they might not survive a taxi drive. He’s barely gotten the portal shut behind them before Alec has him pinned up against the wall and is kissing him, desperate and frantic, his hands already tugging the shirt out of Magnus’ pants.

Alec’s phone rings.

Somehow, Magnus resists the urge to snap his fingers and move the damned thing to the bottom of the Hudson.

Alec grabs it, fumbles, and shouts, “Oh my God, what?!”

This time Magnus is close enough that he can overhear the other end of the conversation without magic. It’s Izzy, and she says, “I thought you might want to know what happened with – ”

“No! No, I don’t! Because it’s only going to upset me, and I don’t want to be upset right now, I want to be sucking my boyfriend’s dick!”

Izzy bursts into laughter. “Well, don’t let me stop you!” she says, and the line goes dead.

“If this thing rings again, I swear to God,” Alec says.

Magnus can’t help it; one snap of his fingers and the phone vanishes out of Alec’s hand. “I’ll – figure out where I put it later,” he says.

“Shut up and take your clothes off,” Alec replies.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

They don’t get a lot of sleep that night, but Alec doesn’t mind. He makes them breakfast the next morning and finally finds his phone at the bottom of Magnus’ sock drawer.

“I can’t actually tell you a lot,” Izzy says when Alec calls her. “All I know is that the Silent Brothers were able to get some information about Valentine, which they then gave to the Clave. The Clave has said it’s not for the rest of us to know what they found out. Jace is pissed, and he and Clary are pushing hard to get it out of them, but no dice so far.”

Alec gives a noncommittal grunt. “I assume Maryse survived it or you would have said otherwise right off the bat.”

“Yeah. She’s in holding in Idris. They’re going to do the banishment ceremony at dusk. Then for some reason she’s being sent back here.”

Alec gives Magnus a sideways glance. The warlock is studying his own phone, texting with someone. “I might have an idea about the reason why, but never mind. Out of curiosity, if Maryse had actually died, would you still have hung up on me last night?”

“Absolutely. It’s not like you having sex would have made her any deader.”

Despite himself, Alec snorts with laughter. “I guess that’s true.”

“Anyway, whatever they got out of her, it can’t have been too helpful, because the Clave wants to talk to you next.”

“Talk to me?” Alec glances over at Magnus as his head comes up. “Why?”

“Because you were held captive by Valentine. You might have seen or heard something that could lead to him, I guess.” Izzy gives an audible shrug. “I told them that I would pass the message along and that you’d be there when you could.”

“Okay. Thanks. I’m going to stay here and have sex all day, so, don’t call me.”

Izzy giggles. “Okay. Enjoy yourself.”

Magnus looks up as Alec hangs up the phone and says, “As much as those plans sound absolutely fabulous, I will have one brief errand to run in the afternoon.”

“Uh huh.” Alec considers this for a minute. “Right around the time Maryse gets back to New York?”

Magnus waves a hand. “As you say.”

Alec pours himself another mug of coffee. “So here’s where I ask what you and Lydia are cooking up behind the scenes.”

“Simply put, I don’t like the idea of leaving your mother to seek revenge on us for having her cast out. Once she’s mundane, there is some magic I can work on her that will leave her unable to harm us – or another living soul. Lydia said she would arrange for a brief interlude between the ceremony and when Maryse is turned out into the wild, as it were.”

“Does it matter?” Alec huffs out a breath and studies his mug. “Most Shadowhunters who get banished don’t live very long. They’re a beacon for all sorts of demons who want revenge.”

“It’s not something I’m comfortable leaving to chance.” Magnus studies Alec, sees the conflict etched into his face. “While I’m there, I could also do some magic that would mask her from demonic senses. Keep her relatively protected from discovery.”

Alec’s head snaps up. “You would do that?”

“If you wanted.” Magnus reaches out and rubs his thumb against Alec’s lips. “I want to be sure your mother never hurts you again. So if news of her death would hurt you, I will do all within my power to prevent it.”

“And . . . her knowing she’s in your debt and under your protection will piss her off like nothing else ever could?” Alec says.

Magnus looks innocently at the ceiling. “Am I that transparent, darling?”

“Only to me.” Alec shakes his head, but he’s smiling. “As far as revenge goes, it’s petty but one hundred percent deserved. So I won’t hold it against you.”

“There are better things for you to hold against me, I’m thinking . . .”

“So many,” Alec agrees. “So, so many.” He lets his forehead rest against Magnus’. “Thank you, Magnus.”

“You’re quite welcome, my love.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just makin' up some magic stuff~
> 
> This concludes this "Maryse is the Worst" arc, I think. Got a few more shorts planned after this that should lighten the mood back up. ^_^

 

After all that, Magnus’ last meeting with Maryse is anti-climactic. She won’t look at him and doesn’t say a word, her mouth twisted with barely suppressed rage. Magnus has no interest in speaking with her, either. He simply tells her about the magic he’s going to do – that which will keep her from harming anyone else as long as she lives except in cases of immediate self-defense, and that which will keep her off the demonic radar. There’s a faint flicker of surprise on her face at the latter, until Magnus clarifies, “At Alec’s request.” The surprise turns into bitter anger, and he goes back to ignoring her.

He leaves the small room Lydia had given him about half an hour later to find the three Lightwood siblings all waiting for him. “It’s done,” he says, and sees Izzy’s shoulders relax. Jace looks towards the door, his face creased like he wants to say something, wants to _fix_ this somehow, but knows he can’t. Alec just looks tired.

“Where are they going to take her?” Izzy asks Lydia, who’s holding the keys to the room.

“Even I don’t know,” Lydia says. “The Clave will choose whatever they feel is appropriate.”

Izzy and Alec exchange a glance, and then they both nod. “Okay,” Izzy says.

Lydia looks between Alec and Magnus. “Alec, the Clave is expecting you in the morning. Their morning,” she clarifies. “They want to ask you about your time in captivity.”

Alec shudders a little despite himself. Izzy reaches out and squeezes his arm. “You won’t have to go alone,” she says. “Jace and I will be with you the whole time.”

“As will I,” Magnus says.

Lydia frowns a little. “The Clave won’t like a Warlock being in Idris.”

“The Clave,” Magnus says, giving her a smile that shows teeth, “can suck my beautiful dick.”

Izzy giggles. Alec snorts, and changes the subject. “So we’re going to have to go over there in the middle of the night. That’s great. Hope I wasn’t planning on sleeping.”

“I wasn’t,” Magnus says, giving him a sideways glance.

Izzy giggles again. “Come on, you two. I heard that you went shopping yesterday, and I want to see absolutely everything you bought. Jace, you’re coming too. Call Clary. We have important fashion business to attend to.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

Since they’re going to be going back to Idris in the middle of the night, they head back to the Institute after dinner. Alec says he’s just going to stay up, but then falls asleep sprawled out on his bed with Mafdet napping on his chest. Magnus stays up so he can wake him in time to leave.

The sun is shining brightly in Idris, and Alec winces like the light hurts his eyes after the darkness in New York City. He’s trying to look calm and confident as he’s escorted into a room with the Inquisitor and several members of the Clave. “Alexander Lightwood,” Inquisitor Herondale says, “we have had a full accounting of your recent capture by Valentine Morgenstern. You understand our need for more detail.”

“Yes,” Alec says, and Izzy squeezes his hand. “I’m just not sure how much I can tell you.”

“We understand. The circumstances were traumatic, and you weren’t in the best frame of mind to note detail. We do not need to question you – we need to extract your memories.”

Alec’s gaze darts around the room in surprise. “Uh, that sounds . . .”

“Difficult. It is. Fortunately, we have an extremely skilled warlock who you appear to have brought with you, as we expected you would. That saves us some time.”

“Excuse me,” Magnus says, wishing he had worn his lawyer suit. “Am I to understand that you want me to invade Alec’s mind, pull out his memories, and then share them with all of you?”

Herondale nods. “That will be the most efficient way to make sure we’ve gotten all the information that he has.”

“I see,” Magnus says. He mulls this over for a long minute, feeling the way Alec’s hand is trembling ever-so-slightly in his own. “No.”

Alec turns to him, slightly surprised, and Izzy winces. Herondale, for her part, goes stone-faced. “It wasn’t a request, warlock. If you won’t do it, we’ll have to use the Silent Brothers. Far less risk with your magic, wouldn’t you agree?”

“I wasn’t negotiating,” Magnus says. “You don’t understand what you’re asking of him. Do you know what this sort of process entails? It’s not just pulling out playback I can put on a television. It’s going back inside, reliving the experience. You’re asking him to go through all of it again, this time with a live audience. You have no right to ask that of him.”

“Magnus,” Alec says quietly. “I’ll do it.”

“Your opinion isn’t being requested,” Magnus tells him.

“Magnus,” Alec says again, and turns to face him. “Valentine is a danger to all of us. If there’s even the smallest chance that something I saw, something I heard, could be used to find him and stop him, then I’m willing to put myself through hell.” He manages a wan smile. “I survived it once. I can survive it again.”

“That is not the point.” Magnus tries to keep his voice even. “There are other ways. Other methods. But they value their _convenience_ over your welfare.” He’s talking to Alec, but looking at Herondale. “I will not allow it.”

“Warlock Bane.” Herondale’s voice is surprisingly quiet. “What we are valuing is expedience and accuracy. Maryse Lightwood’s information was . . . concerning. Although she wasn’t able to help us locate Valentine, she knew things about his plans and his abilities that indicate the need for immediate action. There might be other ways, but we don’t have time for them. We need what Alec knows, and we need it now.”

Magnus’ jaw twitches, but before he can speak, Alec puts a finger underneath his chin and makes Magnus look at him. “I’ll be okay, Magnus. If people get hurt because I couldn’t do this, I would never forgive myself.”

“That’s because you’re altogether too demanding of yourself,” Magnus says, but relents. “All right. Only because it’s your choice.” He lets out a breath and rubs his hands together. “We are going to need to sit down. Inquisitor, anyone you wish privy to this information will need to be present, because believe me, I will _not_ be doing this twice.”

Herondale nods. “That is why this group has been assembled.”

Magnus looks at Alec as one of the younger Shadowhunters brings over some chairs. Magnus sits down and tucks his legs underneath himself, gesturing for Alec to sit across from him, which Alec does. Izzy and Jace stand behind him, and Izzy squeezes his shoulder. “Shall I include your siblings as well?”

Alec’s gaze darts up at Izzy, who keeps her face blank. “It’s up to you, Alec.”

“No,” Alec says quietly. “I don’t want them to see.”

Magnus nods. “Then it would be better if they waited elsewhere. This magic is difficult enough without having to differentiate which minds I should pull in and which to leave out.”

“Okay.” Izzy squeezes his shoulder again. “We’ll be right outside, Alec.”

“This will take time,” Magnus says. “Time passes more quickly in memory, and of course there will have been time when he was sleeping or otherwise unaware, but eleven days of memory . . . it will take hours, at the least. And I doubt we will be able to do it all at once.”

“I’d rather get it over with,” Alec says, a bit of anxiety seeping into his voice.

“I know, beloved, but there are matters of safety, of how much energy I can expend and how much your mind will accept. I’ll know when you’ve reached your limit and then we will stop for a break, regardless of how much . . . expedience . . . the Clave feels is necessary.” Magnus looks over at Inquisitor Herondale in a direct challenge, but she doesn’t say anything.

“We’ll keep the coffee and pastries coming,” Izzy says. Jace claps Alec on the shoulder and the two of them head out.

Magnus barely notices them leaving. He’s already drawing himself down into focus, letting the magic ripple across his skin in blue waves. There’s a nervous energy in the room, as the members of the Clave prepare themselves as well. Magnus holds his hands out in front of himself, and Alec grasps them. His grip is firm, his hands a little cold but not shaking. Magnus breathes in deep and slow, letting the magic radiate out further with each breath, pulling the Shadowhunters into the net he’s weaving. He can feel Alec’s mind next to his, the reassuring presence he’s grown so used to.

The first memory he reaches for is so strong that he almost loses control of the spell. That first time he walked into the cell – or someone wearing his face did – and was murdered in front of him. The wave of anguish that accompanies that memory is all-consuming. Magnus squeezes Alec’s hands harder than he means to, feels a spike of surprise in present-day Alec that grounds him. A nasty, mean-spirited idea occurs to him. He goes looking for a different memory, one that’s pure physical pain without the emotional agony. He lets that memory flare out through the web, into the assembled Shadowhunters.

The result is practically chaos. They were unprepared for the sudden surge of pain, unprepared to really _experience_ what Alec had gone through. Several of them cry out, and one of them flinches backwards and upsets their chair.

“Warlock Bane!” Inquisitor Herondale’s voice is sharp and angry.

“Apologies, Inquisitor,” Magnus murmurs. “The memories are quite strong. It’s difficult to control the spell.”

Herondale gives him a look that could not more clearly indicate that she doesn’t believe a word he says. “I’d like to remind you that the purpose of the spell is to allow us to view the events with a clear eye. We do not want to have to do this twice, remember?”

“As you say,” Magnus says, rolling his eyes so hard that he probably pulls something. He sees a hesitant little smile on Alec’s face, and it eases down his nerves a bit. “Shall we begin again?”

It’s a grueling affair. The magic is tiring, but it’s Alec’s memories that exhaust him. They’re fragmented, disjointed, both from the natural trauma and the fact that they had been removed and restored. Magnus probes carefully, looking for times when Valentine was present, whether Alec was paying attention to him or not.

The minutes grind by. Magnus is occasionally aware of one of the Clave making a noise or moving around, but it’s distant and unimportant. He’s wholly focused on Alec. He can feel the other man trembling now, feel him growing tense and rigid as the memories get more jagged.

“Enough.” Magnus lets go of Alec and draws back, breathing hard. Alec’s eyes open, and it’s clear for a minute that he doesn’t even see Magnus sitting across from him. Then his gaze flicks around the room, and he swallows hard as he remembers where he is.

“When can we resume?” Herondale’s voice is as brusque as ever, but at least it isn’t demanding. It’s a simple request for information.

Magnus looks into Alec’s eyes, smoothes back his hair. “Ten minutes.”

“Very well.”

Someone brings them both a cup of water. Magnus drinks his quickly so he can hold Alec’s to his lips and help him take slow sips. “We can stop this any time,” he reminds Alec.

Alec manages a wan smile. “No. I’m okay. Just let me breathe for a minute.”

The break passes too quickly for Magnus’ taste, but he does as instructed regardless. He just wants to get it over with at this point. Since the memories are so disjointed, it’s difficult to tell how much he’s gotten through. He just has to keep going. He’s not paying much attention to detail, because the magic takes up so much focus. He hopes that if Valentine casually mentions his home address, someone will tell him that he can stop.

During their second break, Izzy comes in with some strongly brewed tea. Magnus sips his slowly while Izzy rubs his shoulders. She tries to rub Alec’s, but he flinches away from her touch. It’s not real pain, Magnus explains, but remembered pain. Either way, Alec feels sore and achy, and Izzy tells him not to apologize.

The third session is the worst, as Magnus unearths some of the memories that Alec tried to bury. He thinks twice about stopping, but it’s almost over, and from the way Alec is clutching at Magnus’ hands, he _needs_ it to be over. So Magnus pushes until he’s gotten through the last of it.

Alec is pale and shaking when it’s done, leaning against Magnus’ shoulder. Magnus wants to soothe him, to say something deep and meaningful, but he’s so tired that he can feel it in his bones. He’s dimly aware of the Clave conferring around them, but still somehow surprised when he hears Herondale speak to Alec.

“You have the soul of a true warrior, Alexander Lightwood,” she says. “Your courage today will not be forgotten.”

Alec opens one eye and whispers, “Did it help?”

“Time will tell,” Herondale says, but then she seems to see that Alec needs more than that. “You provided us some very useful intelligence. Whether or not it will be enough to apprehend Valentine, I can’t yet say. But it’s certainly more than we had.” She reaches out and rests her hand on his shoulder. “Get some rest.”

Alec nods, and she helps both of them to their feet. Magnus sways back and forth from weariness, and can’t help but wrinkle his nose when Jace catches him and keeps him on his feet. Jace rolls his eyes at Magnus’ lack of gratitude. “Come on, let’s get moving.”

They’ve just left the Clave’s chambers when a young voice says, “Alec! Izzy!” and Max rockets through the room and throws himself at his brother. Alec goes to his knees and catches Max out of the air.

“Hey, you,” Alec says, giving him a squeeze. He looks up as Robert appears behind his son, a little out of breath from having to chase him, then looks away.

“Dad said that Mom had to go away,” Max says, “and that she might not be back for a long time. But he won’t tell me why.”

Alec has to swallow hard, and hugs Max a little tighter. “Sometimes . . . adults have to do things for reasons that don’t make a lot of sense to kids.”

“That’s what Dad said,” Max says, sounding petulant. “I want to know the truth.”

“Mom hurt somebody,” Alec says, and lets out a breath. “She thought that she was doing the right thing. But she wasn’t. And now the Clave sent her away.”

“Will we ever see her again?” Max asks.

“I don’t know, Max,” Alec says. He lets him go and then ruffles his hair. “Come on, now, I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to be in school.”

“Yeah.” Max hangs his head and trudges over to Izzy, who takes his hand and leads him away.

Alec stares after them for a long moment before turning to his father. “I want to talk to you about Max,” he says, his voice abrupt and angry. Robert blinks at him, not seeing where he’s going with this. “I think he should start spending more time with me and Izzy. At the Institute, and out in the city. I want to make sure he learns about Downworlders from someone other than the people in Idris.”

Robert grimaces a little, but nods. “That can be arranged. He’s bored in school, anyway. It will do him some good to get an up-close look at things at the Institute.”

“Okay.” Alec folds his arms over his chest, hesitates, and then goes in for the kill. “And I want to marry Magnus.”

Robert blinks. “I, er . . .”

“Darling, you haven’t technically proposed,” Magnus murmurs, amused despite himself.

Alec is just staring his father down, and doesn’t seem to hear Magnus’ comment. Robert clears his throat and says, “Of course you can marry Magnus, that’s your choice – ”

“No, you don’t understand what I’m saying. I want to marry Magnus.” He puts weight on the last two words. “I want the ceremony. I want all your friends to come and sit in the audience and pretend to be happy about it. I want the Silent Brother presiding. I want to put a marriage rune on a ring and put it on his finger in front of everyone you know. Because if I can’t have that, it’s not the real thing, and he deserves the real thing.”

“Of course.” Robert looks uncomfortable, but he isn’t arguing. “I’ll see that it’s arranged.”

“Good. You do that.”

Robert turns and hustles away. Magnus walks over to Alec and curls his hand around Alec’s forearm, smiling at him. “Feeling better?”

“Yeah, a little.”

“Is this a bad time to point out that you haven’t actually asked me to marry you yet?”

Alec immediately flushes bright pink and starts to stammer. “Oh – well, I – I guess I hadn’t – you’re right but – ” He sees the way Magnus is looking at him, at the amusement and adoration written all over Magnus’ face, and drops down to one knee. He’s still blushing, but his voice comes out steady. “Magnus Bane, will you do me the honor of being my husband?”

“I would love to,” Magnus says, and a smile spreads across Alec’s face that’s almost too bright to look at. He gets back to his feet and pulls Magnus in for a kiss.

“I would have asked sooner, but I – I wanted to do it right. And if I couldn’t – I didn’t want to give you anything less than I would have given Lydia, or whoever my parents picked out for me. It wouldn’t have been fair.”

“I understand,” Magnus says. “And this is fine. This is perfect.” He leans in for another kiss, then pulls away and says, “Of course, I get to invite all my Downworlder friends.”

“Of course,” Alec agrees.

Magnus leans in and presses a kiss against Alec’s temple. “Come on,” he says. “Let’s go home.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and now for something completely different~
> 
> just some post-Malec's-first-time shenanigans =D

Alec is extremely tired out after the third round of vigorous sex, and has contented himself with staring adoringly at Magnus, who has dozed off. He has no idea what time it is. He’s slightly startled when his phone chimes, signifying an incoming text. He fumbles for it and sees that it’s from Izzy. ‘Where you at?’

‘Magnus’,’ he replies.

There’s a brief pause. Then Izzy asks, ‘Got any plans for tomorrow?’

‘probably gonna be here a while, few days maybe,’ Alec replies.

Another pause. Then his phone rings. He sees that it’s Izzy calling and picks it up. “Hey, what – ”

“Who is this and what have you done to my brother?” Izzy demands.

“Uh – what? Izzy, what – ”

“Answer the question!”

“Izzy, it’s me, it’s totally your brother,” Alec says.

There’s a suspicious pause. “What was your nickname for me when I was little?”

“Oh my God, Izzy, are you actually going to make me say that out loud?” Alec asks, and stony silence is the response. He sighs. “Lizard-Smell. Okay? Are we cool now?”

Izzy heaves a sigh of relief. “You nearly gave me a heart attack!”

“Why were so convinced that someone had gotten hold of my phone?”

“You used an emoji! You never use emojis!”

Alec blinks. He pulls the phone away from his ear and looks at the text he had sent her. He had, indeed, put a smiley face at the end of it. “Um. So I did. I’m a little, uh . . . punch drunk, I guess?”

“Oh. My. God!” The last word is practically a squeal. “From all the sex? You two must have been having _so much sex_ – ”

“Izzy – ”

“And now you’re saying you won’t be home for a few days? This is the best day ever, enjoy yourself, I’ll tell everyone not to call you. Love you bye!”

Izzy hangs up. Alec looks at the ceiling for a long minute before he decides if he’s in for a penny, he’s in for a pound. He texts her with an emoji of a lizard. She texts back a row of laughing-til-crying faces. Alec turns his phone off and tosses it across the room.

“What was that all about?” Magnus murmurs into his neck.

“I texted Izzy with an emoji.”

At this, Magnus’ eyes open. “That might be the biggest compliment you’ve ever given me!”

“Don’t you start,” Alec grumbles.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

Duty calls, so despite his desire to stay in Magnus’ loft and continue to have sex with him until he’s too physically exhausted to move, he does end up heading back to the Institute the next day. He’s greeted somewhat nervously as he takes the gist of the case information. For some reason he’s not sure of, the tech keeps biting her lip and looking away as if she’s trying not to smile.

Actually, everyone seems a little more at ease around him than before. He’s not exactly sure why. Of course, a lot has happened recently. Everyone’s heard about what happened at the wedding. He’s been dating Magnus for months. Maybe the support staff are just finally starting to see him as an actual person rather than a law-enforcing robot. Anything is possible.

“Mission report?” Lydia says, when he gets back, and Alec relays it in his usual professional manner. Lydia makes a few notes.

“Hey, can I ask you a question?” he asks, when he’s done.

“Sure,” she says.

Alec glances around to make sure nobody’s within earshot. “The others are kind of treating me oddly. Not badly, just . . . it’s kind of hard to describe? But Mason offered to get me a coffee and Ruth asked if I had any plans for the weekend. That sort of thing.” He sees Lydia arch her eyebrows at him. “It’s not that people are being disrespectful or anything, but they’re just being . . . friendlier. And if it had happened right after the wedding, I would think it was because of that, but . . .”

“You really don’t know?” Lydia says.

Alec’s frown deepens. “Obviously I don’t.”

“You’re smiling,” she says. He blinks at her. “You were smiling when you came in. You were smiling when you asked Ruth for the mission details, and you were smiling when you went to get your bow, and you were smiling when you left. Consciously or subconsciously, people will treat you differently because of that. It makes you more approachable.”

“Well, that’s gotta stop,” Alec grumbles. “I have no interest in being approachable.”

Lydia’s own smile just widens. “Had a good time with Magnus, I take it?”

“Yes,” he says, glaring at her. “Yes, I did.”

“I hear he’s quite magical,” Lydia teases.

Alec groans. “You’re never going to let me live that down, are you.”

“Nope.” She flips her folder shut. “Tell him I said hello next time you see him.”

“Sure,” he says, shaking his head. Then he goes to find Izzy. “You didn’t tell anyone I sent you an emoji, did you?”

Izzy hides a giggle behind her hand. “No, big brother. Your dignity is safe with me.”

Alec looks around. “I think people know.”

“Probably,” Izzy agrees. “Wait, do you mean about the emoji or about the sex?”

“The – the sex,” he hisses underneath his breath.

“Oh, yeah, people definitely know about that.”

“Izzy!” Alec growls. “What do I do?”

Seeing that he’s actually worried, Izzy reaches out and squeezes his forearm. “Nothing. You do nothing. You are an adult. The staff are adults. They see you smiling and think, ‘wow, Alec totally got some this weekend!’ and then we all move on with our lives. You don’t need to confirm or deny. It's healthy for relationships to include sex. Besides, everyone here loves Magnus. They’re not _judging_ you, Alec. They’re not laughing at you. They’re happy for you. And secretly hoping that you’ll be a little less of a hardass.”

“I won’t be,” Alec grumps.

“Of course not,” Izzy says, laughing again. “Seriously, Alec, don’t worry about it. It’s not a big deal, so don’t make it one.”

He’s not sure whether or not he believes her, but he trusts her, so he follows her instructions and tries to act normal. He’s not sure whether or not he’s really smiling, until he catches sight of himself in a mirror and finds that he is. He forces a scowl, which lasts for three minutes before he finds himself daydreaming about going back to Magnus’ that evening. He doesn’t even notice when it melts back into a smile.

“Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” Magnus says when Alec shows up at the loft that evening. “I missed you terribly.”

“I was gone for less than ten hours,” Alec says.

“And what a lonely, bereft experience it was. Come over here and kiss me.”

Alec does as instructed, and before much longer, his shirt is on the floor and he’s on the sofa with Magnus in his lap and he’s not exactly sure how he got there. “You’re a terrible influence on me,” he groans, as Magnus nibbles at his ear.

“My goal all along,” Magnus agrees.

“Apparently I smiled at work,” Alec says. “All day. I smiled _all day_ , Magnus.”

“Well, now I’m just jealous,” Magnus says. “You have such a beautiful smile. I don’t know that I want to share it with others.”

“Sorry. Guess you’ll have to find a new expression to keep all to yourself.”

Magnus chuckles. “Oh, I found quite a few of those yesterday,” he says, and traces his fingers over Alec’s lips. “But we can look for a few more.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

“I just wish you wouldn’t _announce_ it,” Jace groans, dropping his head into his hands after one of the support staff asks Alec how his weekend had been.

Alec practically throws his hands in the air. “I said ‘fine’! That’s not an announcement of anything!”

“It was the look on your face when you said it,” Jace says.

“What, because I smiled?” Alec asks. “I’m not allowed to smile on occasion? I mean, seriously?”

Jace squirms. “It’s not that you’re not _allowed_ to, it’s just that you don’t, or at least you didn’t, so now when you do, everyone knows that it’s because you got laid – ”

Clary pinches her the bridge of her nose.

“Is there something _wrong_ with me getting laid?” Alec challenges. “You never say anything to Izzy when she comes in at three AM with her hair all messed up.”

“That’s different, everyone knows how Izzy is – don’t look at me like that, Izzy! You can do whatever you want, I don’t care, you’re entitled to your own sex life – ”

“But I’m not?” Alec asks, exasperated.

“Just don’t be so _obvious_ about it!”

“If you want to see an announcement, I can stand up on this chair, ask for everyone’s attention and say ‘hey, everyone! Magnus and I totally had sex all weekend long! I’m pretty sure he sucked every molecule of tension out of my body through my dick – ’”

“Oh my _God_ , Alec,” Izzy says, cracking up as Jace sputters.

“So unless you want me to start making announcements like that, maybe you should just agree that I can smile whenever I feel like it and it’s not my problem that _you_ have a problem with the fact that people have figured out I’m having sex!”

“Okay, okay!” Jace raises his hands in surrender. “Please don’t announce anything. Or tell me anything like that. Ever again.”

Alec rolls his eyes. “Trust me, I have no intention of telling you anything like that ever again if I don’t have to.”

“Well, I for one am glad you had a good time,” Izzy says, smirking.

“Thank you, Izzy.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

The support staff honeymoon lasts until one of the other Shadowhunters screws up a mission and nearly gets his partner killed. Alec proceeds to drag him over the coals and tell him that he’s not getting another mission until he’s completed remedial training.

“Somebody didn’t get laid last night,” the offending Shadowhunter mutters.

“Are you kidding me with that?” Alec asks, scowling more ferociously than ever. “Because you know what, I _did_ get laid last night, and it was actually pretty awesome, I’d say like, eight out of ten, and that in no ways affects the fact that you didn’t follow orders and I’m going to kick your ass around the block, and all you’ve earned yourself with that idiotic comment is an extra week of training. Now get the hell out of my face before I decide to take a page from the mundane notebook and assign you to scrubbing toilets.”

Chastened, the Shadowhunter hurries away with his head down and his face bright red.

“Eight out of ten, hm?” Magnus says, and Alec nearly jumps onto the ceiling. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I was just wondering how to improve my performance.”

“Well, I was tired last night,” Alec says.

“Are you tired now?” Magnus asks.

“Not really, no.”

“Good. Because that was unfairly attractive, and I’m going to need you to take all my clothes off now.”

Alec grins. “I’ll see what I can do.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to [ccboomer](http://ccboomer.tumblr.com) for the great prompt =D
> 
> Chapter is NSFW. I'm not even sure it's safe for this fic.

 

As far as arguments go, it doesn’t exactly start out as an exciting one. Alec is miffed because Magnus stayed out with some of his warlock friends and forgot to call, and without thinking, says something regrettably snarky about the content of their characters. Magnus, who would normally let something like that slide with a mild rebuke – he’s aware that Alec _was_ somewhat heavily indoctrinated against his kind, and he’s shown remarkable progress all things considered – is exhausted and more short-tempered than usual. He fires back, Alec gets sulky, Magnus calls him a child, and Alec comes up with a devastatingly witty retort about people who like to date children.

They go to bed angry, but by the time they wake up, their tempers have both cooled. Alec apologizes for being a jerk and makes Magnus breakfast in bed. Magnus apologizes for forgetting to call. They eat breakfast together, and then Alec leans over for a kiss. Magnus pushes his face away and says playfully, “I’m still mad at you.”

“Oh, really?” Alec asks, scowling.

Magnus bites back a smile. “Yes. You hurt my feelings. You’re going to have to do some groveling before you get back in my good graces.”

“Uh huh.” Alec looks at him with narrowed eyes and gestures to the empty tray. “What do you think this was?”

“A good start.” Magnus rises from bed and grabs his robe before heading into the bathroom.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

It’s no problem, really. Alec is sure that he can last a lot longer than Magnus can in a sex embargo. After all, he didn’t even lose his virginity until a few months ago. Okay, so he has immensely enjoyed all the sex they’ve been having, but going without won’t be a big deal. He’s sure that Magnus won’t be able to handle it the same way.

He’s one hundred percent sure of that until Magnus emerges from his bathroom, clad only in a towel that’s wrapped loosely around his waist. He’s still wet from the shower. The water has beaded on his skin, and Alec is nearly overcome with the urge to lick it off. Magnus glances at him with that coy little smile and then _bends over_ to get something out of his bureau, and Alec –

Alec has to excuse himself.

So Magnus wants to play it that way, okay. He can play it that way.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

When Magnus arrives at the Institute later, Alec is working out. Shirtless seemed too obvious, so he’s wearing the black tank top that he _knows_ Magnus loves. He’s seen it drive Magnus to distraction more than once.

Now is no exception to the rule. The conversation they have is less than three minutes long, but Magnus has to tear his eyes away from Alec’s biceps at least four separate times. Once, he completely loses track of what he was saying.

“So am I going to see you tonight?” Alec asks.

Magnus smiles. “Shall we hit up the club?”

Alec’s eyes narrow. “Sure,” he says. “That sounds like a _great_ idea.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

It’s a terrible idea.

Magnus shows up wearing leather pants that he must have had somebody sew him into, because they’re certainly too tight for him to have gotten into them any other way. He’s wearing one of his devastatingly unbuttoned shirts and a number of necklaces that draw attention to his chest. Alec’s hand itch to grab one and use it to reel Magnus in.

Then, of course, he dances, and Magnus dancing is one of the most magnificent things that Alec has ever seen. He’s equal parts grace and strength, and his body moves like he’s sin personified.

Alec winds up spending most of the evening at the bar, drinking cold water. He doesn’t dare dance _with_ Magnus – not if he wants his dignity intact – so watching is all he gets to do. His own pants are uncomfortably tight.

“See you tomorrow?” Magnus asks, when the music stops.

“Tomorrow,” Alec agrees.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

“Is there something going on between you two that I should know about?” Izzy asks the next day.

“No. Well. Maybe.” Alec’s gaze shifts around the room while he makes sure nobody else is within earshot. “I could actually use some advice. But you have to promise not to make fun of me. Okay?”

“This I have to hear,” Izzy says, and when Alec huffs at her, she says, “Yes, I promise.”

“We’re kind of, uh, having a sex embargo,” Alec tells her, and Izzy’s eyebrows go up. “He was pretending to be mad at me and told me I had to grovel before he’d have sex with me, I told him that it’d be a cold day in hell before I groveled, and now we’re just, uh, kind of having a contest to see who breaks first.”

“I see.” Izzy presses her lips together, trying not to laugh. “Who’s winning?”

“Well, he’s definitely _better_ at, uh, this sort of thing,” Alec says, “but I have more willpower, so I’m definitely going to win. Just help me with the, uh, the details.”

“You want me to help you seduce your boyfriend when you could just apologize to him like a grown-up? I mean, you two could be having sex _right now_.”

“Trust me, I know. And yes.”

“Okay!” Izzy grins. “Let’s do it.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

Alec’s not sure he sees the point in the fingerless gloves, to be honest, but Izzy has assured him that they’ll work. They’re new, and a little stiff, and he’s flexing his hands to get used to them. Magnus is sitting at the table, working in some sort of spell book, but he keeps looking over whenever Alec moves his hands.

“Must you keep doing that with those gloves?” Magnus finally asks.

“I’m breaking them in,” Alec says, with a mental note to buy Izzy something nice. “They’re still stiff.”

Magnus watches Alec’s hands for another minute. His eyes start to glaze over.

“Can I help you with something?” Alec asks, smug.

“Not a thing, my love.” Magnus slaps his book shut. “If you’ll excuse me. I need some things from the store.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

Magnus comes back to the loft with strawberries. He proceeds to dip them in chocolate and eat them while Alec squirms on the sofa, pretending he’s not watching. He _is_ watching, because Magnus is gorgeous beyond compare, and the look of bliss on his face while he eats is spellbinding.

When he’s done, he licks his fingers. Each one, individually. Slowly.

Alec takes a cold shower.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

“No, it’s not enough to be naked,” Izzy says. “You have to make him watch you take off your clothes. There’s a difference.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

The rain helps. Sure, Alec _could_ take a taxi. Or an umbrella. Or he could call Magnus to open a portal. There are _lots_ of ways he could get to Magnus’ loft and not end up soaking wet. But it’s not a cold rain, and he’s certainly endured worse things.

Magnus, of course, greets him with, “Why on earth didn’t you call me,” but then he forgets all about it as Alec pulls off the button-down shirt he’s wearing.

(“Layers,” Izzy had said. “Gotta have layers.”)

“I think I have some spare clothes here, don’t I?” Alec says, keeping his tone extremely casual while he hooks his fingers underneath the edge of the white T-shirt he’s wearing.

“I beg your pardon?” Magnus asks, tearing his eyes away from Alec’s chest long enough to realize that Alec is talking. His voice is a few notches higher than usual.

“Can you grab me a towel?” Alec asks. He pulls his shirt over his head as slowly as possible.

Magnus stares at him, and for the briefest moment, Alec thinks he’s won. He’s _sure_ that Magnus is about to jump him. His cat eyes gleam for a moment, and then he steps back, and smiles, and in that moment Alec goes from triumphant to extremely nervous.

“A towel,” Magnus says, eyes still glittering. “Of course.”

He leaves the room and comes back with a towel and a set of clothes for Alec to change into, and starts talking about where Alec wants to get dinner, as if they aren’t an inch away from tearing each others’ clothes off. Alec starts to wonder if he’s in over his head.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

Magnus keeps _touching_ him. Just tiny, barely-there touches that are driving Alec out of his mind. Those fingers brushing over his shoulder as Magnus walks by. His hand briefly resting on Alec’s knee when he leans over to get the duck sauce. A brief tap on the back of his neck when he isn’t expecting it. He’s about to crawl out of his _skin_ , let alone his _clothes_.

When Magnus picks a wonton from his soup and blows gently on his spoon, Alec nearly loses it. He’s about one inch away from throwing Magnus onto the table so he can have sex with him right in the middle of all their food. Then he sees Magnus’ cat eyes gleam at him again, and somehow manages to regain control of himself, digging his fingers into his own thigh to concentrate.

“We should go out for ice cream after dinner,” he says, his voice a challenge, and also thankfully staying in the same octave it starts in.

Magnus smirks at him. “Absolutely.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, they don’t get to the ice cream before Izzy calls, saying there’s a mission. On the one hand, Alec is glad to get out of the loft before he loses control. On the other hand, he’s really in no shape for a mission. Izzy takes one look at him, groans, and tells him to take a cold shower before they leave.

“If your sex games with Magnus get me killed, I’m going to haunt you,” she says.

“If his _what_ get us killed?” Jace asks, boggling.

“Nothing,” Alec says, flipping an arrow in one hand. “Let’s go.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

The mission is easy, and it helps to blow off some steam. Alec heads back to the Institute with a renewed feeling of energy and self-control. Magnus had texted him while he was on his mission, saying he was going to be at the club. He had also texted some pictures, which were just revealing enough to make Alec sweat.

“I need you to find me something to wear,” Alec tells Izzy.

Izzy all but throws her hands up. “You could be having sex with him _right now_!”

“Don’t tell me that you and Meliorn wouldn’t play a game like this,” Alec says, then frowns. “I mean that. Don’t tell me. Just help me find something to wear.”

“All right, fine, just . . .” Izzy shakes her head. “To be honest, I’m a little amazed you two have lasted this long. It’s been almost a week. Try not to break any walls when you finally give in.” She throws open Alec’s closet and begins tossing things around.

The shirt is too tight but the pants are surprisingly loose, and Alec is fairly sure that Izzy thought he might burst out of them if he isn’t given any leeway. She does his makeup, too, just a little bit of eyeliner and lipstick to make him stand out in the lighting of the club. “Okay, you’re good,” she says. “Go get lucky.”

“Luck has nothing to do with it,” Alec says.

“Go get laid!” Izzy shouts at him down the hallway. Alec walks faster.

Magnus is already at the club, looking as glorious as usual. He’s got the magenta streaks in his hair again, and is wearing a completely see through shirt along with soft, loose pants. Alec’s brain immediately supplies how easy it would be to strip him out of that outfit, and watches him dance for a few minutes. He’s not going to break. He can do this.

A glint of light catches his eye at the back of the club, the kind that only comes from an angelic blade.

“Magnus, down!” he shouts, as he hurtles across the club and catches the warlock in a tackle that takes them both to the ground. He sees Magnus’ look of surprise, then amusement, and he’s clearly about to say something about how Alec could wait until they were back at the loft, but then the Circle member is standing right over them and Alec only barely manages to parry the man’s blade with his own. He hadn’t brought his bow, because it’s too bulky to carry everywhere, but he always carries his seraph blade.

The attack causes a huge commotion, and people start running for the exits only to find them blocked by other Circle members. Alec hears someone scream as the door slams shut.

“Here!” Magnus shouts, one hand stretching out to create a portal in the middle of the room. A lot of the occupants don’t notice between the noise and the chaos. Magnus flings another handful of magic around which cuts out the music, and all the lights in the club suddenly direct a path directly to the portal.

While he’s doing that, Alec has gotten to his feet and managed to push the Circle member who had attacked them back several paces. He thinks there are at least four of them, and can’t help but grimace. He’s not bad with his blade, but Jace is better, and he wishes his parabatai were there. But if he can take two and Magnus can take the other two, they’ll be fine. And Magnus is certainly already gearing up to do that, as blue flames gather around him and whip out into the club as powerful gusts of wind. Two of the Circle members are yanked off their feet and tossed back into the walls.

Alec trusts Magnus to take care of himself but presses his back into the warlock’s, focusing on his own fight. He can barely hear anything over the enormous roar of wind, but the hearing loss is more than worth it for the way it keeps knocking his opponents off their feet. He manages to dispatch two of them in one swing as they basically go staggering into his blade. The third meets a grisly fate when he lands on the stereo equipment in a shower of sparks and electricity. The fourth manages to get out of the tornado Magnus has created and scrambles for the door.

There’s a brief moment where both Magnus and Alec catch their breath. The club is deserted, and the sudden silence seems very loud.

It’s impossible to know who moves first, but barely a second has passed before they’re kissing, more than kissing, clinging to each other in the empty club, hands trying to be everywhere at once. Magnus creates another portal with a snap of his fingers and they practically fall through it, back into the loft. Magnus’ hands are twined in Alec’s hair and Alec’s hands are underneath Magnus’ shirt, stripping it over his head without a moment of hesitation.

The next thing Alec knows, he’s on his back on the bed and he’s struggling with Magnus’ belt. “Get – this – off,” he pants. Magnus reaches for it and there’s a flare of blue magic and suddenly they’re both naked. Alec lets out a little yelp of surprise despite himself, but then throws his head back and gasps for air as their hips grind together. Magnus is busying himself kissing down Alec’s chest, sucking a line of marks into it. “Wait,” Alec pants, as Magnus gets to his hip. “Wait. Stop. Want to – want to make love to you.”

Magnus moans agreement and flips them over with one deft move, wrapping one leg around Alec’s waist. Alec slides inside him as easily as breathing, and it’s the most amazing thing he’s ever felt.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

“So,” Alec asks sleepily, “who won?”

“Mm?” Magnus opens one eye, then closes it, one finger tracing a pattern on Alec’s chest. “Yes.”

Alec frowns for a moment, then decides that all in all, it’s a very good answer.

 

~ ~ ~ ~


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> featuring Magnus and Alec on vacation, because fluff fluff fluff fluff =D

 

As soon as the first snowflake falls in New York City, Magnus looks up and says, “Well, that’s quite enough of that,” and goes into his room for a suitcase. Alec follows him, watching curiously as Magnus starts gathering some of his things.

“Where are you going?” Alec sounds more amused than anything else.

“Oh, I quite forgot, you wouldn’t know,” Magnus says. “Once the weather turns cold, I head to Indonesia for the winter. It’s much more acceptable there.”

Alec frowns. “The entire winter?”

“Well, you certainly can’t expect me to stick around here,” Magnus says, with a dramatic gesture at the window. “I’m hot-blooded, after all.”

“You didn’t go last year.”

“No, far too many things were going on then. I needed to stay close.” Magnus comes out of his closet with an armload of shirts, sees Alec’s face, and laughs. “Don’t look so glum, Alexander. I’ll build a permanent portal here in the loft so you can come see me any time.” He sets down the load of clothing and then advances on Alec, leaning up for a kiss. “Or you could come with me, of course.”

Alec frowns. “You know I can’t.”

“Not for the entire winter, perhaps, but surely they could spare you for a few days? Perhaps a week, even?” Magnus runs his fingers underneath the collar of Alec’s shirt, then down the line of buttons. “Just you . . . and me . . . on an island all by ourselves . . . in the beautiful tropical weather . . . drinking coffee made fresh, and I mean really fresh, right from the trees. You don’t know coffee until you’ve had it that way.”

Alec swallows. “I, uh . . .”

“The two of us on a beach with nobody else around for miles,” Magnus murmurs into Alec’s ear. “Naked.”

“Oh my God!” Alec grabs him and pulls him into a kiss. “You’re the worst sort of person.”

“Is that a yes?” Magnus asks.

“Yes.” Alec pulls away and then plants another kiss on Magnus’ forehead. “On one condition.”

“Oh, I do like a good condition.” Magnus goes back to packing. “What is it?”

“After we’ve spent a week in Indonesia, you’re going to stay here in New York with me the first time we get a real snowstorm.”

Magnus shudders. “You did hear me about being hot-blooded, did you not?”

“You don’t exactly let me forget it.” Alec rolls his eyes, but then adds, “Don’t worry. I’ll keep you warm. I like snowstorms, so you’re going to spend at least one with me.”

“Oh, all right. I suppose if you insist.” Magnus waves a hand and the entire spread of makeup on his vanity gathers itself into a pile. “But Indonesia first.”

Alec nods. “Indonesia first.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

Indonesia is every bit as gorgeous as Magnus had promised it would be. Apparently he owns an island – something he says isn’t that unusual, given that the chain contains more than thirteen thousand islands. Half of them haven’t been settled at all. And the one he owns is small, “barely a speck on the map,” he says. The only building there is his house, which is right on the beach. It’s made entirely out of wood. The windows don’t have glass in them, although he says he uses magic to keep out bugs and rain.

“I’m surprised the place doesn’t wash away in high surf,” Alec says, looking at it somewhat skeptically.

“Admittedly, the magic I’ve used to keep it here has been quite extensive,” Magnus says. “During the tsunami in 2004, the entire island disappeared.” He looks thoughtful for a minute. “I’ve always regretted that I wasn’t here when that happened,” he finally says. “I could have saved a lot of lives.”

Alec reaches out and squeezes his hand. “You didn’t know,” he says. “We can’t save everyone.”

“I suppose that’s true.” Magnus shakes off the melancholy. “Shall we go for a swim? The water’s always perfect.”

“Okay,” Alec says. “That sounds good.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

It is perfect, and they spend an enjoyable afternoon on the beach, eat dinner, and then spend several hours in bed together. Alec finally falls asleep to the gentle sound of the waves. He wakes up the next morning when the sun hits his eyes, stretches, and realizes he’s alone in bed. He gets up, crawls into his pants, and goes looking for Magnus.

He finds him lying on the beach, obviously sunbathing, and stops dead in his tracks. “M-Magnus!” he sputters. “When you said naked, I didn’t think you meant naked _outside_!”

Magnus opens one eye and lifts a hand to shield himself from the sun. “Why not?”

“It – it isn’t decent,” Alec says, flushing pink.

Magnus laughs. “There’s nobody for miles. Who do you think is going to see me?”

“I – I don’t know, anyone,” Alec says. He’s aware that he’s being ridiculous, but there’s still a very firm voice in his head telling him that outdoor nudity is not okay. “Besides, you – you could get sunburned in some, some very unfortunate places.”

At this, Magnus laughs harder. “I’m not going to get sunburned. Magic provides SPF infinity. Will you quit being a prude and get down here?”

“I’m not having sex on the beach,” Alec says firmly. “I’d get sand in all sorts of unpleasant places.”

“You have no faith in me,” Magnus says. “I wouldn’t let you get sunburned or chafed. And really, nobody’s going to see us. We’re completely alone.”

“You know, you say that like portals don’t exist – ”

“No one can open a portal here.” Magnus reaches out and wraps his hand around Alec’s calf. “Alexander. Relax. I’m not going to make you take your clothes off if you don’t want to, and we don’t have to have sex on the beach, although honestly, you’re missing out if you refuse. But please stop freaking out about the fact that I’m naked.”

“I’m not freaking out,” Alec says, feeling grumpy. But he sits down in the sand and tries not to stare.

“You’ll need sunscreen too,” Magnus says, sitting up and producing a bottle from nowhere.

“Whatever happened to SPF infinity?” Alec says, giving the bottle the side-eye.

“Oh, nothing happened to it. I just want an excuse to rub lotion all over your back. Go on, lie down.”

Alec eyes him suspiciously for another moment before he obeys, flopping down on his stomach. Magnus immediately rolls on top of him, straddling him for better access. Alec starts to rethink his position on sex on the beach.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

Amazingly, their vacation lasts six entire days without interruption, before Izzy calls Alec up and tells him that they need him for a mission. She apologizes approximately nine hundred times for interrupting them. “It’s okay,” Alec tells her. “To be honest, I was starting to itch for some action. Magnus might be able to slouch around like a layabout for a week, but I was getting bored.”

“Even with all the sex you two must have been having?” Izzy asks.

“Somehow, even with that.”

“Guess it’s a good thing we’ve got some demons to kill,” Izzy says.

Alec flips his blade in his hand and then tucks it away. “Guess so.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

Magnus is enjoying his tropical paradise as much as he always does, and Alec comes to see him at least one or two times a week. The permanent portal in his loft makes it easy for him. He’s not surprised when Alec shows up about two weeks later and says, “Time for you to come back to New York for a day or two.”

“Well, I hope we’re forecast to get eight to ten inches,” Magnus says, and winks at him.

Alec flushes pink and sputters, “M-Magnus!”

“Mm?” Magnus asks, the very picture of innocence.

Recovering, Alec says, “I’d say six to eight would be quite enough.”

At this, Magnus can’t help but chuckle. “Yes, I suppose ten or more _would_ be pushing it. But all right, my love. I suppose if you insist. Let me clean up a few things around here and I’ll meet you in an hour?”

“Okay. I’ll be at the Institute. I have some things I need to get ready anyway.”

“I can’t wait.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

All penis size jokes aside, Magnus really isn’t looking forward to this. He hates snow. He’s sure that Alec has plans to do things like build snowmen or maybe have a snowball fight, and while he’s looking forward to seeing Alec’s more whimsical side, he’s _not_ looking forward to doing it outside in the snow. He hates mittens and the way his socks end up damp and – everything about being outside in the snow, really. He’s not built for it.

But Alec had asked, and Alec clearly wants to do this, so for Alec, he’ll put with damp socks and cold fingers. He gets back to the Institute in the most stylish winter gear he owns – a heavy coat, leather gloves, and a long scarf. He doesn’t own a hat. Magic will keep him warm.

“Look at who’s all bundled up,” Izzy greets him, trying not to laugh.

Magnus holds back a grimace. “Alec insisted I come back for the blizzard, but I have to say that I’m not looking forward to whatever snow-themed shenanigans are going to happen.”

Izzy arches her eyebrows, then laughs. “Wow. It’s funny how two people can love each other so much but still have things to learn about each other.”

“What does that mean?” Magnus asks.

Izzy leans over and kisses his cheek. “It means, go upstairs to the library. Alec’s waiting for you there.”

Magnus frowns but does as instructed. He finds Alec waiting for him, not at all geared up to go outside but dressed in a sweater and jeans. There’s a fire in the fireplace, and the sofa has been pulled over so it’s parallel to one of the library’s large windows. Surprisingly, it’s open several inches. There’s a stack of books on one end of the sofa, which Mafdet is perched on top of.

“Hey,” Alec says with a smile. He gets the end of Magnus’ scarf and uses it to draw him in for a kiss, before he unwinds it. “Why didn’t you just portal over?”

“I did,” Magnus says. “But I expected to be outside, so . . .”

Alec looks blank.

“For the snow.” Magnus isn’t sure what he’s missing.

Alec wrinkles his nose. “Outside? What? Yuck, no. It gets down into your boots and you end up with damp socks.”

Magnus can’t help but laugh at that. He peels off his gloves and drops them on an end table. “Then why is it you wanted me here for the snowstorm?”

“Come here.” Alec waits until Magnus has shrugged out of his coat and hung it up, then draws him over to the window. He puts the lamp out, so the library is only lit from the fire. Magnus watches the snow fall for a minute, leaning into the warmth of Alec’s body.

“It’s so quiet,” he says.

Alec nods. “That’s why I love it. It just puts a layer of, of peace on top of everything. It’s not a hard silence, not a scary one. Just this soft sort of quiet.” He smiles a little, looking out into the church yard. “Mom always used to yell at me for wanting the windows open while it snowed. I knew it was silly, but I did it anyway.”

“I understand,” Magnus says, and leans up to kiss Alec on the side of his mouth.

“When it snows, I like to just sit with the window open and read by the fire,” Alec says. “I thought you might like to join me.”

Magnus smiles. “I’d love to.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg it's a new ficlet~
> 
> I'm working on a new multi-chapter segment for this fic, it may be a little while but I definitely have some ideas percolating. ^_^
> 
> This, meanwhile, is sheer fluff and sap.

 

“What is _that_?” Magnus asks his mirror, so loudly that Alec startles out of the half-doze he had drifted into. Magnus is often up before him, not because he’s a morning person but just because he needs less sleep than Alec. He’ll regularly stay up until three or four in the morning, but then be up at eight, cooking Alec breakfast and perfecting his makeup. Alec stays up nearly as late. Demons are nocturnal, so those who hunt them tend to be as well. But when Alec goes to bed at three, he’d prefer to sleep until at least ten.

Magnus has gotten very good about not waking him in the mornings, although at least fifty percent of the time, Alec will wake up long enough for morning sex, or at least to see Magnus mussed up and makeup free. This wasn’t one of those mornings. Alec hadn’t gotten in until nearly dawn, and hadn’t stirred when Magnus got out of bed and went into the bathroom.

But he’s certainly awake now, blinking over at where Magnus is peering into the mirror. “What is what?” he mumbles, hoping that it’s not important and he can go back to sleep.

“Come look at this,” Magnus says.

Alec sighs and swings his legs over the edge of the bed, rubbing one hand over his face and kissing the idea of further sleep goodbye, at least for the moment. He shambles over to where Magnus is sitting at his vanity, makeup spread out in front of him, and leans in to look at where he’s pointing at a spot just above his forehead. He blinks twice. “Is that . . . do you have a gray hair?”

“Oh, God, you see it too!” Magnus collapses dramatically against Alec. “It’s finally happening. Being patron saint to the Shadowhunters is literally giving me gray hair. That’s not a wrinkle, is it?” he adds anxiously, lurching back upright to inspect his forehead in the mirror.

“It’s not a wrinkle,” Alec says firmly, trying not to roll his eyes. He’s frowning a little, despite himself. He didn’t even know warlocks _could_ get gray hair. “Just dye it black if it bothers you. Now let me go back to sleep.” He crawls back underneath the blankets.

“You’ll react the same way the first day you find a gray hair,” Magnus tells him.

“I’m _sleeping_ ,” Alec says. “Listen to me sleeping.”

Magnus laughs and goes back to his beauty routine, and Alec dozes off. When he rolls over again, it’s just past eleven, and he goes looking for some breakfast. He finds Magnus lounging in his favorite chair, deep in a book, and is about to say good morning when he stops dead in his tracks.

“Ah, are you up, finally?” Magnus asks, smiling, and then he sees the look on Alec’s face. “What is it?”

“How long did I sleep?” Alec asks cautiously.

“Two hours, maybe. Why?”

“Have you . . . looked in a mirror in the last two hours?”

“I don’t think so,” Magnus says, frowning. He’s already on his feet, walking over to the closest mirror. “Good Lord!” he blurts out, staring at his newly silvered temples in the mirror. “Okay, that, that is definitely a wrinkle,” he says, leaning closer. “Oh my God. I have crow’s feet. I’m repulsive, don’t look at me – ”

“You’re not repulsive,” Alec says, keeping his voice firm and calm. “But I don’t think this is natural, either.”

“Of course it’s not natural, it’s Felix bloody Glass – ”

“It’s who to the what now?” Alec asks.

“Old acquaintance of mine, _notorious_ prankster. High Warlock of Munich, as it happens. I ran into him at Pandemonium last night. He tends to stay in Europe but sometimes comes to New York for business. We got into a bit of a tiff over some money that I definitely _do not_ owe him because it’s not my fault that he has terrible taste in ponies, and he undoubtedly cast some sort of spell on me.”

With the news that this isn’t something serious, Alec has to bite back a smile. “Okay. Maybe we should go find him?”

“Oh, I’m going to find him, I’m going to wring his twiggy little neck – ” Magnus yanks out a few of the hairs that have turned gray and storms off to his workshop with them. Alec shakes his head and goes into the kitchen to get some breakfast. He’s barely had time to finish his bagel when Magnus storms back out, carrying a little vial on a string. Even in the brief amount of time, his hair has gone completely gray. “I’ll be back in a few hours – ”

“I’m coming with you,” Alec says, downing the last of his coffee.

“You are absolutely _not_ coming with me, this is going to be traumatic enough without having to keep a glamour on the whole time – ”

Alec puts a finger underneath Magnus’ chin and turns it so the warlock has no choice but to look at him. “You,” he says firmly, “are a silver fox.”

Magnus gives him a suspicious look. “You’re just saying that.”

Alec draws an x over his chest with his free hand. “Cross my heart. And the crow’s feet are _barely_ noticeable.”

“Really?”

“Absolutely.” Alec tries not to laugh. “The wrinkles on your forehead are _much_ worse – ”

Magnus’ hand immediately goes to his forehead, and Alec can’t help it; he has to turn away so he can mask his laughter by fake coughing. Magnus clearly doesn’t believe it for a second. He smacks Alec on the shoulder and says, “Heartless monster, mocking my vanity like that.”

“I can’t help it, I’m sorry,” Alec says, still laughing. “You’re beautiful no matter what happens, Magnus. Just accept it. Now come on, I’ll go with you, in case this guy gives you any trouble.”

“All right, if you insist,” Magnus says.

It doesn’t take long. They find Felix Glass in a bookstore in Manhattan. He looks perfectly normal, a bit like a professor with his bowtie and round glasses. Whatever his warlock mark is, it either isn’t visible while he’s dressed, or he’s using a glamour to hide it. As soon as he sees Magnus, he drops his book and starts howling with laughter.

“This isn’t funny, you pompous cockwomble!” Magnus retorts, which unfortunately makes Alec start laughing, too. “Undo it this instant, or I’m going to curse you to stubbing your toe on every table you walk past for the rest of your miserable life – ”

“Not until you pay me the two hundred quid you owe me,” Felix says, his tone a trifle smug. “I warned you.”

“I do not owe you a red cent, as we _thoroughly_ discussed last night – ”

“Oh, really? I clearly recall lending you two hundred pounds, and not receiving a cent, crimson or otherwise, in return – ”

Alec clears his throat, seeing that Magnus is truly upset, vanity aside. He supposes that aging causes problems other than wrinkles, and Magnus might not feel well. If he’s in pain, he might take it out on Glass, and that won’t help anything. “Okay, okay. Impartial observer here. Will one of the two of you clearly explain why Felix feels he was never repaid?”

Magnus takes a deep breath. “Fifty years ago, Felix loaned me two hundred pounds for something I desperately needed but no longer recall. When it came time to pay him back, he suggested we go to the racetrack together. He was – _is_ – a betting man. We then entered into a friendly wager over the results of the race. I put two hundred pounds down on the horse of my choosing, and the two hundred pounds I owed him on the horse of _his_ choosing. My horse won, so, he lost his two hundred pounds, and yet for some reason thinks I still owe it to him.”

“You do!” Felix says. “You never repaid me.”

“I _did_ repay you, and you immediately turned around and bet it all on a horse that lost a race.”

“No, _you_ bet it on a horse that lost a race.”

“Because you specifically _told me to do so_ , in addition to choosing the horse, and it’s not my problem that you have bloody awful taste in horses – ”

Alec pinches the bridge of his nose. “Magnus. You’re right. Okay? But you’re also richer than half the Clave put together. Just give him his two hundred pounds – ”

“Adjusted for inflation, plus interest,” Felix chips in smugly.

“ – and he’ll take the spell off you.”

“Certainly not!” Magnus says. “This is a matter of principle. I do not owe this cheating rat bastard a penny, and therefore he will get none.”

Felix leans towards them and adjusts his glasses. “I think you’re getting a bit of a wattle, you know,” he says, and Magnus’ hand goes to his neck as if to hide it.

“Oh for the love of God!” Alec says, losing his temper. “Glass, what’s the full amount you feel you’re owed?”

“Eight thousand, five hundred, and thirty-two dollars,” Felix says, smirking.

“Great. Okay. So here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to take this spell off my husband right. Fucking. Now. Or I’m going to punch you, eight thousand, five hundred, and thirty-two times. Am I making myself clear?”

“Uh – ” Felix is clearly taken aback. “I’m pretty sure that would violate the Accords – ”

“No, that would be if I stabbed you with my angelic blade. If you wanted to discuss that as an option – ”

“No, no,” Felix says hastily. “I’m good.” He clears his throat hastily and then gestures in Magnus’ direction, drawing a few symbols in the air. The magic drifts over and soaks into Magnus’ skin. A few moments later, all signs of aging are gone. Alec holds up his cell phone with the front camera on so Magnus can see that he’s made a full recovery, and some of the tension leaves his shoulders.

“Now that we’ve settled that,” Alec says, “how about you get the hell out of our city?”

“You’re being very unfair, you know – ”

“ _Now_ ,” Alec says, and Felix exits through a portal without another word. Alec turns to look at Magnus, who’s preening at his reflection in the shop window. Alec has to bite back a smile. “Feeling better?”

“Much, thank you. Also, you’re devastatingly attractive and I’m going to need you to take me home and tear my clothes off.”

“Like you would forgive me if I ruined that shirt.”

“True. Maybe just take them off me carefully.”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

They wind up spending most of the day in bed, and order pizza which they eat on the sofa while watching television. Magnus is wearing his silk kimono; Alec only bothered to put on boxer shorts. It’s easy for Magnus to use magic to adjust the temperature of his loft, so neither of them are going to get cold. He’s yawning a little as he channel surfs. “Ugh, there’s nothing else good on.”

“Perhaps we should go back to bed,” Magnus says, nibbling at his ear, and Alec needs no further persuasion.

When he wakes up the next morning, he’s surprised to find Magnus still in bed with him. “Mm . . . what time is it?” he asks sleepily.

“A little after ten. I was going to get up and make you breakfast soon, but I was rather enjoying this.”

Alec yawns. “No rush.” He reaches up to caress the side of Magnus’ face, drawing him down for a leisurely kiss.

Magnus returns it, but only briefly, before he pulls away to look down at Alec with a thoughtful expression. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Alec says, smiling.

“I was thinking this morning, about growing old,” Magnus says.

Alec can’t help but laugh. “I don’t think it would be in your best interest.”

“No.” Magnus laughs, too. “But, you know, you hear that phrase used about people in love . . . about growing old together. And while I certainly don’t want wrinkles and arthritis . . . I think there’s merit to it. Not just because it will feel a little awkward when you’re older and I still look this age, but just because . . . it has a sense of finality to it.”

Alec sits up. “I’m not sure what you’re getting at.”

“I’ve tied my life to yours. Not literally, but metaphorically.” Magnus gestures to the ring he wears. “I won’t grow old with you. But maybe . . . maybe it’s important to say out loud that there won’t be anyone after you.”

At this, Alec blinks. “You don’t know that.”

“Yes, my love, I do.” Magnus’ voice is quiet, not exactly sad, but perhaps with a touch of melancholy. “I’ve lived a long time, you know. I’ve loved and lost before. It hurts every time. But you . . . I love you more than all the others combined. I won’t survive losing you. I’ve made my peace with that. Once you’re gone, my reason for being here will be, too.”

“I’m . . . not sure how to feel about that,” Alec admits. “I don’t want you to be unhappy, but I don’t want you to die, and that sort of makes me feel like it’s . . . not my fault, exactly? But because of me.”

“It is because of you,” Magnus says, and Alec frowns at him. “But don’t take that as a bad thing. I’ve been happier the past three years than I ever could have imagined. The life I had without you, hedonistic and excessive though it may have been, seems like a pale shadow in comparison to what I have now. You gave me this new, amazing life, full of joy and meaning in a way that I couldn’t have guessed existed. The fact that I don’t want to go back to the shadow – that’s because of you, in that it’s because of how happy you’ve made me.”

Alec flushes pink and almost has to look away. “You’re such a sap.”

“I am,” Magnus agrees, and laughs. “But only when I’m talking about you.”

“Will you do something for me?”

“Just say the word.”

“If I _don’t_ grow old – with or without you – if I’m killed in action – will you stay to make sure that the others are okay? Izzy and Jace, Lydia and Max?”

Magnus nods. “If they need my protection, they’ll have it.”

“Thank you.” Alec presses a kiss against the corner of Magnus’ mouth. “And just so we’re clear? You really _were_ a silver fox.”

Magnus laughs. “Not as much of one as you’re going to be.”

“We’ll see,” Alec says, then adds, a trifle smugly, “I took pictures, so – ”

“No!” Magnus gasps in horror, and dives for Alec’s phone. Alec is already holding it out of reach. “You bastard,” Magnus says, and they both laugh until their sides hurt.

 

~ ~ ~ ~


End file.
